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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why does my SIL never like my things on Facebook? (petty)

87 replies

loombandqueen · 08/04/2015 17:08

I know this is very silly, but for some reason it annoys me a lot. I am not one to put loads of showoffy pics on Facebook, but every now and then will put on a pic of the family if we have done something special or if it's a birthday etc. I always like everything SIL puts on regardless of what it is just because she is my family and it's nice to see what they are up to. So why does she never like anything DH or I put on despite sometimes saying she saw the pics on Facebook and going on Facebook a lot so she will have seen our stuff. She always likes other family members stuff! We don't see much of her as she lives a few hours away and DH's family are not very close.

OP posts:
AuntieDee · 08/04/2015 18:19

Don't delete her, put her on your restricted list so she just can't see anything ;)

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 08/04/2015 18:21

Ah Facebook, brings out the petty child in so many grown ups.

Paddingtonthebear · 08/04/2015 18:25

My so called best friend rarely comments or likes any photos or info that I put on FB. Along with the fact I barely see her, it winds me up Hmm

ShadyMary · 08/04/2015 18:25

So true, people do use facebook so differently. I like my friends' photos and statuses, but not every single time. SOmetimes I put up something (and that would be fairly rare) and it's ignored. It is odd. I have said before to friends in real life that I feel like a ghost on facebook. I say something and not one out of 167 people will like or comment. It makes me nervous about 'putting myself' on line. I feel rejected on line in a way that I do not in real life. I'm a good humoured sensible person with some really nice people as friends so I know that that's what counts. But facebook is some weird alternative universe.

I've posted things (articles, changes to legislation & that sort of thing) about issues that effect single parents, and not one person liked something that is very important to me. I felt a bit depressed about that. It's like nobody if they're not a sinlge parent them self gives a fuck about single parents struggling to make it work financially. Really shocking. Then, friends post their support of gay marriage (which I'm in support of) and I just wonder is it cool to support gay marriage but not cool to give a fuck about single mothers. I guess ...........

Pagwatch · 08/04/2015 18:29

You should handle this in the proper FBway

A status saying 'why am I the one who gives and gives and gets nothing back' with lots of grumpy and sad faces after it.
Then someone can post 'what's up hun? It's not me is it?'
And you can reply 'no no, of course not you. I'll pm you hun. It's just so hard' and then more sad faces.

That's the correct etiquette for these situations.

gonetrekking · 08/04/2015 19:01

My best friend never likes stuff that I put on FB but will like other people's things so I know she's on there. Really strange and I do find it a bit upsetting although I know I'm being particularly stupid over it. Can't help how you feel though.

Original poster
loombandqueen · 08/04/2015 19:04

If Mumsnet had a like button I'd DEfinitely like that Pagwatch.

OP posts:
ShadyMary · 08/04/2015 19:06

ha! young people are the worst for that. Sorry to those lucky enough to feel offended. But never known anybody over 30 do that "don't let the bastards grind you down" routine.

monkeysaymoo · 08/04/2015 19:06

Yes just put her on your restricted list it's effectively the same as unfriending someone without them knowing. That way you can't be upset by her not liking your posts, unfollow her too stop tormenting yourself

Box5883284322679964228 · 08/04/2015 19:18

I unfollowed my SIL. I'm 99% certain she unfollowed me about a year ago and so I decided not to bother either. She tends to post lots of selfies/righteous religious stuff and I wasn't interested. It means I have missed some family stuff but I figure if its important they will tell me directly anyway. I don't really use FB much anyway

Scrounger · 08/04/2015 23:24

I find it a bit weird that you prefer her to press a 'like' button then to read it, remember it and then talk to you about something that you posted I.e had an old fashioned conversation. I'm obviously not a big fb user.

lunalelle · 08/04/2015 23:29

Pagwatch, I'm glad to see that at least one persona knows correct procedure for this situation.

I myself am generally oblivious to most Facebook stuff. If I feel the need to make a remark, I do. Otherwise, I don't.

Ouchbloodyouch · 08/04/2015 23:36

Prolific likers..
i hate ouchbloodyouch
Ouchbloodyouch likes this..

Mmbop · 09/04/2015 00:02

I think it's because she thinks I'm a c though I don't know what I've done wrong.*
OP is there more to your feelings about this or is it really all about the fb thing?
If its just about Facebook I really wouldn't worry. I wouldn't notice who doesn't 'like' my posts and wouldn't assume that just because they don't 'like' them, doesn't mean they dont like them IYSWIM. Similarly I like plenty of things I see and just scroll past.

Mmbop · 09/04/2015 00:05

Scrounger I unfollowed BIL because he enjoys an angry Facebook rant or emotional overshare a bit too much. Just means I end up going out of my way to search him out of nosiness in case I'm missing out Blush

Mmbop · 09/04/2015 00:07

Oh wait not Scrounger, Box tired

cheeseandpineapple · 09/04/2015 00:14

OP, if you're not ready to follow Pag's FB etiquette, the other more subtle passive aggressive approach would be to stop liking your SIL's photos and comments. No need to de friend her but just ignore her. Guarantee she will notice you're giving her the FB cold treatment and she will cave and start liking your stuff.

Try it!

Longdistance · 09/04/2015 00:20

That's like my sil. She doesn't like or comment on anything, and then mentions it in conversation when I see her next...'I saw on fb such and such...' Very weird, especially when it's a pic of dds her dn.

How difficult is it to lift your finger, and press like, in a 'yeah, I've seen the pic'

Although, this is a woman who is mean with money, so she's quite mean spirited too.

mynewpassion · 09/04/2015 00:35

Are some of you for real? Don't spend time analyzing the FB actions of others. It will do your head in.

Is she civil and nice to you in person? Does she respect you in RL? That's all that matters. You live in the real world not on Facebook.

PeppermintCrayon · 09/04/2015 00:42

I don't give a flying monkey who likes what and I find it demented and weird when people like everything. You are being ridiculous.

PeppermintCrayon · 09/04/2015 00:46

I have a 'liker regardless of what it is' on Facebook, you can guarantee no matter what old shite I post on there she'll have liked it within minutes.

Me too. And they do it to my DH too and he finds it really weird and stalky. How do you stop them?!

guilianna · 09/04/2015 00:47

ShadyMary you're doing it wrong - you need some cute guinea pig pictures, or how about an inspirational quote? Grin
I'd like your posts!

guilianna · 09/04/2015 00:48

I mean your current ones, not the sodding hamsters

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/04/2015 00:49

Just hide her. You can do that without her knowing, then you won't see ANYTHING from her, and then you won't care any more.

glittertits · 09/04/2015 00:57

...because she doesn't give a shit about what you and your husband got up to last weekend. Like a normal, functioning in the real world, human being.