DH has always been quite lazy in the house, and with the children, preferring to do the laziest quickest option for everything and to do as little as possible so he can just please himself. He is, however, quick to moan at me about any mess or housework that isn't done. I have pulled him up so many times on his lack of doing anything in the house/interaction with the children but he basically stonewalls me.
We both work outside of the home.
At the end of last week I became ill with a virus, and have been very poorly and in bed for 5 days. Luckily I have annual leave this week and DH had the easter weekend off work.
Basically, whilst I was ill, he did nothing. I think today getting up and seeing the actual mess of the house properly has just filled me with rage. The kids were left to their own devices. 5 year old DS hasn't been bathed or showered since Sunday. No laundry has been done; DH refused when I was ill to wash any of my pyjamas or underwear and as a result I have had no nightwear for the past couple of days even though I had a very high temperature and was sweating a lot. I have no clean underwear today and have currently got a load whizzing round in the tumble drier.
The house is just such a minging, filthy state; toilets horrendous, carpets dirty (we have dogs), stuff everywhere, rubbish everywhere. No basics done at all. I think DH went to the local shop twice when I was ill but that was only to get crap like crisps and sweets. He didn't do any proper food shopping.
I am so cross and upset; when DH is ill I basically carry on as normal, doing cleaning/cooking/looking after the kids etc, and look after him too. I would never dream of leaving him with no clean underwear when he is physically incapable of doing any washing himself.
He has done this before when I've had illnesses in the past. To be fair I am not ill often but if it is ever bad enough that I simply can't carry on and have to go to bed, DH just downs tools too and sits around.
I tried to speak to him a bit about it this morning and he said he didn't know what I was on about as he's "let me have a few days in bed" and basically said what more do I want?
What I actually want is to be married to an adult who takes responsibility for his house and is actually happy to co-parent his children. Not someone who just doesn't give a fuck.
This is feeling like a dealbreaker for me, it really is. I am still feeling not well, but I'm better than I was, I guess it's post viral fatigue, and I feel resentful that instead I have got so much to do in the house that he could have just done as he went along over the weekend and saved me the hassle.