"Murdered by my boyfriend" is on BBC3 right now

[AnyFucker]

Essential, if chilling, viewing if you haven't seen it.

Round of applause for the poster that is doing their best to minimise DV against women.

Have you ever tried to fight a man? I have and failed miserably. Infact I pissed myself while being strangled on Xmas eve many years ago.

I watched this several months ago when it was on first. It stayed with me for weeks.

oh no Joy

EqualRites numbers show that only 11-12% of victims were men killed by women. Whether you consider all cases, or heterosexual relationships
Among men who were killed by partners a staggering 37% were by other men. I'm sure that men in same sex relationships are much less than 37%. More likely 10x less.
Whereas murder of women by women happened only in 0.3% of cases, when the number of relationships is likely to be similar to those of same sex males.
These figures show that murder is largely by men.

And as I referred earlier (see link) quite a lot of female on male murder is in a backdrop of previous violence by the male.

What have make DV stats got to do with the fact that a real life young woman was killed with an ironing bored by her violent partner while her child sat and cried, and that you, MinceSpy, find a programme about that "annoying beyond belief"?

Sorry, bloody autocorrect. MALE DV stats...

I'm trying to think of something to say but I just have no words for what I've just watched. I've never been this affected by a programme before. That poor woman and her poor poor child.

Joyfull that is awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope your safe from that now

Why the fucking fuck are we having to even explain this????

Seriously?

We are justifying an award winning programme, based on fact, to someone who found it annoying.

Boo fucking hoo.

For my part, I'm sorry for this turning into a statistics fest.

Numbers don't make up for the fact that a child is missing her mother.
We can debate the stats till the cows come home, it doesn't make a difference to the loss of a young woman and the impact on those that loved her.

any it's ok because he was grieving his nanna. Apparently. His mums Words. funnily enough she didn't use that excuse when he stuck my hand on an electric stove a few months later.

I worry for my girls I really do.

Sorry Enormourse I didn't mean you. You were right to bring in the stats because Mince clearly didn't get the point!

hope you are ok, pirate

it is horrible isn't it

and similar is happen as we speak, right under our noses

Stats are all we have. Because people don't take it seriously in some quarters. And then they still don't.

flying I am! I met my absolute best friend five years ago. He is the most placid unconfrontational bloke I've ever met. He has really put me back together. There are nice blokes out there! Thank you

After a chat with a good friend, I feel able to come back.

Joy - I know how that feels and I'm so sorry and hope you are safe

The last drama that affected me like this was 'No Child of Mine'. I do think it's important that these dramas are shown and I do think it's important to watch them and educate ourselves. I'm glad to hear that this is being shown in some schools/colleges and if it saves one person - be that male or female then it's worth it.

God rest her soul

I am thank you hand

Thank you AF.

That's wonderful Joy

I was so upset at first but now I'm just so angry. My DM was repeatedly beaten black and blue by my DF. Some of the things he did to her were unbelievable. It took her 25 years to leave him because whenever she tried to leave he would threaten to either harm himself or use us to manipulate her into returning. When she finally left the change in her was amazing. I remember seeing her laughing over a year later and realised that I couldn't remember seeing her truly laugh before.

After the divorce he started to inject heroin and tried to use it as emotional blackmail but thankfully she just didn't care anymore. He had pushed her too far.

If only more women could escape these awful situations. Actually, scratch that, if only bastard abusers didn't abuse. I think the story of that poor woman will live with me forever.

I just don't understand the mindset of an abuser. How could you do that to the person you supposedly love?

I think if nothing else,this programme must surely answer all the people who ask why a woman doesn't just leave.
But,sadly,the people who need to watch it probably won't be the ones who do watch it.

The panorama was very good on the perennial 'why doesn't she just leave?' question. The expert who said "She is being completely controlled, that's what control means. She can't leave, she might be killed" says it all.

Just watched it and oh how heartbreaking. I don't have the words to describe what I'd like to do to him.

When are the dots going to be joined about male violence on women? When are women and children going to be protected from these men? When is government/society going to treat male violence as an issue?

It's an amazingly accurate depiction of the subtle and no so subtle tactics used by a perpetrator to maintain power and control over their victim.

It took me days to come to terms with it and I work with this day in day out.

Domestic abuse and sexual violence are gender based crimes. You can't deny it, it's fact! It can happen in all relationships but is most prevalent in heterosexual 'romantic' relationships with the women being the victim!

The majority of women who commit murder and end up in jail do so against their violent perpetrator. I've worked in prisons with these women. They're in for life and openly say they did it because if they hadn't they would have been murdered by their partner. Over 50% of these women would say what they did was self defence. The vast majority of murdered women are killed by their abusive partners.

HandfulofCottonBuds

Yep the film 'No Child of Mine' has stayed with me for years. A misery memoir on film. Just bloody heartbreaking.

A real reach for the eyebleach film. I never want to watch it again.

handfulofcottonbuds, I remember your threads from years ago (had a different name then) - hope you're doing better these days

I cried when I watched that. Bloody sobbed. Especially at the bit where he's thinking clearly enough to get the ironing board to finish her off. And the fucking dick sobbing a little bit, like it was her fault. Monster.

I remember telling my mother about the rape from my ex. After he'd broken my nose. Blood all over my face. He held a knife to my throat. "Why didn't you just push him away?" she said. Arsehole.

Hope you are ok, Vernon