"Murdered by my boyfriend" is on BBC3 right now

[AnyFucker]

Essential, if chilling, viewing if you haven't seen it.

thanks, notsure

I'm not 'menist' and any woman's death at the hands of her partner is a travesty. DV isn't just man on woman.

yes

and ?

I missed this earlier but it's on BBC iplayer so I'll watch it there in a short while.

So should they have swapped the genders of those involved in a real life story and called it "murdered by my girlfriend" just so male DV can be highlighted too?

Did you watch the programme Mince? If not, I suggest that you do. Not even in an away way, I think you'll gain more understanding of why programmes like this are so important (and why young women need to be shown the warning signs) if you do.

And?

Karen Ingala Smith tweeted this a few days ago. Not exactly 'equal opportunities'.

And the point is - this programme was based on an actual fucking murder. A small girl cried for her mummy while her father bashed her head in.

It's not fucking fiction.

It should be shown in schools (but probably too upsetting?) Year 11 maybe.

We need to teach our girls to recognise these signs of an abusive partner, the red flags. It's all about ownership and control.

mince yes DV does not discriminate on grounds of gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion or socio economic background.

But there's no escaping the statistics. According to women's aid NI in their last annual report, 44% of perpetrators of abuse for women accessing their services were current husbands, partners and boyfriends.

I have more stats to hand if you'd like them?

My heart breaks for her little girl. It was all so cold-blooded.

And dv - especially serious violence, hospitalisation and death - is gendered. It is predominantly male on female.

Karen Ingala Smith is excellent on this subject.

I haven't seen the programme. Will try to steel myself to watch it on i player.

This article from The Guardian is very sobering. The case studies at the bottom are heartbreaking.

Sorry my idiot kindle missed off that 35% of perpetrators are former partners

"44% of perpetrators were current husbands, partners or boyfriends, 35% of perpetrators were ex-husbands, partners or boyfriends, 1% were same sex partners or girlfriends, 12% were family members or relatives, and 8% were other perpetrators such as neighbours, employers, friends or traffickers"

I'd hazard a guess that a large proportion of the relatives and other perpetrators would be male too.

I saw this last year and it was absolutely heartbreaking and shocking.

I can't believe anyone would describe this as 'annoying'. If it is, don't watch it, but don't try to minimise the hundreds of women who are being murdered in the UK every year.

What London rocks describes warrants more than just a reaction " annoying " and "and?" Surely? It sounds horrendously upsetting to me.

"And" a woman got beaten to death in front of her child. What do you need to bring that out of "annoying" and into, I dunno, "slightly upsetting" ?

Christ some people have just had a total humanity bypass.

Enormouse statistics also reveal that 40% of victims are male. I'm not arguing that DV isn't utterly wrong and tragic.

Where does it say that 40% of victims of murder by a former partner are men (and by women)?

Mincespy if you really want to believe that 40% of dv victims are men, then that's your right. But that statistic is deeply flawed.

But you should at least read this first.

Do you know what, if posters on here saw a documentary about young men in inner city gangs being murdered they would be saying "and?" They'd be saying that's fucking awful.

Shame the reverse isn't true. So what women are dying there is too much focus on that shut up about it not interested.

Mincespy, what is your point really? This is one womans experience. How can you possibly be annoyed by that? Or has this thread hit a nerve? Watch the program before getting on your high horse and take your negativity elsewhere. No ones interested.

You know that the stats on male victims killed by intimate partners includes male partners I assume.

The vast majority of violent crime is committed by men. Who does it benefit to pretend that is not the case?

Yes, Mince, funnily enough no one here is condoning any kind of violence, regardless of gender.

The programme is a human programme. The writer based it on a happening. Their agenda was simple.

It doesn't need more analysis. Just disgust. For the right reasons.

Why can't a man watching not learn from the programme? You are missing the point.

The woman in the story lies in the ground. Her daughter has one dead parent and the other is in jail. Please don't muddy this with accusations of sexism.

sabrinna got to the link before I did.

Is that what you see when you watch a harrowing piece of tv about the senseless waste of a woman's life mince?

Men are victims too?

london sums it up perfectly.