How long did you stick living in same house after filing for divorce.

[1Cheesedoff]

How much more can I take.. Ignores me on a permant basis. Will not even open letters from solicitors leave alone sign them. I have refused now to do any cooking or washing for him. How did you manage to keep your sanity while living in the same house. I think I may be losing my sanity.

I stayed for 9 months..far too long. If I had know we could survive financially and be so much happier I would have left sooner. I ended up having a breakdown

It took 10 weeks for my ex to move out. I had to sleep with DD because he refused to leave our room. It was awful but eventually he left.

I hope you get it sorted soon.

2 months and it was horrendous. He seemed to think there was no reason why we couldn't carry on sleeping in the same bed. I refused and slept on the sofa so he went all martyr-like and bought an air bed & slept in the living room, but then moaned every day about how much his back was killing him.

He was convinced he was the victim, despite him being the one who wanted a divorce and playing about with other women. He's still playing for sympathy 18 months later.

If you possibly can, don't stay in the same house it's horrible. Do you have any alternatives?

I know this must be an extremely stressful situation for you but you mustn't leave the marital home without getting legal advice first.

18 months so far. Separate bedrooms, no communication. It's hell. He is employing every delaying tactic in the book with regard to mediation, solicitors letters etc.

Oh God

I'm about to take this leap after years of EA. We are vaguely civil and are still sleeping in the same bed but have had no physical contact since the last major row in January. He must realise what's coming but I am pretty certain that starting the divorce process will be like detonating a bomb.

I was considering moving out but it's housing association and preliminary advice suggests I would be likely to retain the tenancy as part of the settlement. He earns far more than I do so could afford to pay private rent. He won't want to though!

No legal aid unless there's DV- there isn't yet but asking for a divorce may yet trigger it!

Detach detach detach

I slept on the sofa for about 8 months. It was horrendous. I had nowhere else to go. We only communicated regarding our son. He finally left almost 6 months ago.

It was the most difficult time of my life. If it wasnt for my ds i wouldnt be here. I also had some great friends who were a lifeline to me.

For everone still in this position. Stay strong

I'm here too, two weeks so far. In the week he gets home v late most nights (not back 2nite) but I'm finding the weekends horrendous. Depressed at the thought of 18 months. Stay strong ladies

5 months so far here, although if the house sells we should be escaping soon. We sleep apart and dont communicate once DC are in bed. Its a very tough time.

I hate weekends too.

God it all sounds so awful and it looks like I am soon going to be in this position as well. What actually happens if you move out (with the kids) does it really make it so much harder to get your share? I am very scared of the aggro that there is going to be.

(I am definitely a have a breakdown type as I already feel like I can't function and there has been no filing for divorce yet. What I really need is someone to come and stay forever but who ?)

OMG yes weekends are HORRENDOUS!!!!!!!!! Thank you all for your replies. I had melt down the weekend. He stayed in bed till 1pm after being in the pub the night before came downstairs and switched on television. When I tried to ask if he was going to open letter from solicitor, he replied with "Aw what do you want" (like he was talking to a complete stranger who he hated) Blood pressure rises! He has detached for over a year , no communication, only asks about lifts for children. I have done his cooking, washing and ironing till now, (what a fool) but no more. Do you think we can keep this thread going to support each other. I would love to support you all too and find out how you are all getting on. We will not fall apart. They don't deserve us and we will have peace of mind and contentment in our new family homes. xx

Nearly 2 years, house finally on the market. It's hard, separate rooms. He stays out late, we alternate weekends with the kids. We are civil in front of the kids. He does his own thing I do mine. Thank God for my family & friends.

I'm about to enter into this scenario too

Me too

It's all a bit scary reallly

Me three...

1cheesedoff im happy to keep the thread going. Its a horrible feeling isnt it. And very sad the amount of people who are in this situation.

Since we spilt up im amazed at the amount of people who have told me they are in similar situations but cant leave.

I have no magic advice apart from stay strong. It will get better one day. How long have ypu been living like this? One of the hardest things for me was having to put on an act in front of family. Theres no way i could have told them how horrendous things were. Do you have support in real life?

Wow... I may soon be in this situation. It sounds really tough. At the moment me and H are civil and 'trying to improve communication' - but it is a living lie. I'm in the spare room but otherwise we eat together, share household chores, childcare etc. Scared of how things could change once I drop the bombshell after seeing solicitor later this week (if I have th courage to).

Is it not possible to move out to stay with a friend, would it really make such a difference to the future settlement of property?

Me too.

It's been 4 years in separate rooms, and 5 months actually separated and in mediation to untangle it all.

He should complete on his flat on Friday and move out next week.

It's bloody tough, it really is.

My saving grace is he works away fri and comes back Saturday so that's when I go out. If I didn't have my friends I don't know what I would have done.

Zero time when I divorced exH, but then he was happy to scuttle off to his new woman thank god.

Just split with current OH (his choice) 2 weeks ago. He stayed at a friends for a couple of nights though couldn't comprehend why he needed to do that.............urm, you've just finished it, want the house sold so making me and our 2.5yr homeless and putting me out of business at the same time, fecking twat.

I'm on an airbed in with our son. Haven't done any of his laundry and told him this morning I'd prefer it if he moved out now house is on the market and if he is staying here then not to expect any food or meals to be supplied.

Ten days and I knew I was losing it. It was awful (he was parading OW around the house at this stage)

I moved out and stayed with a friend until I could get somewhere permanent sorted.

It was the worst time of my life. I'll never forgive him for it.

Nine soul-destroying months, in both cases. It's a great idea to have a support thread - I won't be on it, but am wishing all of you continued sanity and a swift resolution!

If it drags on, I really recommend getting yourself a counsellor. It can be hard to detach in a healthy way while your past's still sharing your bathroom. My lovely therapist (second divorce) taught me some permanently useful things.

As someone said: don't leave the house. I did, against Solicitors advice. Worst mistake I made.