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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend of 3 Years has Blocked me on Facebook

79 replies

PlayNice · 22/03/2015 18:00

I've been going out with my boyfriend, who works as a fireman, for 3 years now, and 3 weeks ago he removed me from his Facebook. I've looked at it and seen that he's added 3 women, who are all single, and I can't see a connection between him and them (through work or socially). I haven't confronted him about it yet, because he'll know I've been looking. He removed me in the first place because he said I ask too many questions about it. I do ask the odd question but I don't badger him about it regularly, and tbh, Facebook has never really come up as an issue in our relationship!

Background: our relationship has been a bit on and off for the last year or so. He keeps talking about moving in together and moving our relationship forward, but seems to panic every time we get near the date. He's always said he wants a serious relationship, and so do I, but I'm beginning to worry that he's not being honest with himself or me - he's never been in a very serious relationship, and he's 45.

Please help. I'm not normally the kind of woman who'd care about Facebook or anything like that, but it feels humiliating and very odd for him to blow up and delete me so suddenly and without an explanation that I really buy.

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 28/03/2015 18:42

Stay strong and don't weaken when he inevitably tries to get you back as his "good enough until something better comes along" gf. Honestly if he hasn't been able to commit by the age of 45 then he very likely never will. Some men (and women of course) really aren't the settle down types and if they do force themselves to commit to someone out of fear of being alone etc... it ends badly in any case. About the only example I can think of when a man waited until his fifties to marry is George Clooney and (sorry Amal) I strongly believe that he decided to marry because he's priming himself for a political career. He has even said (about his first marriage) that he should never have gotten married, as he was "never very good at it."

You deserve someone who is really wants to be with you.

PlayNice · 28/03/2015 22:00

Thank you Rainbunny. I'm actually feeling strong now and am determined to move on and have a proper good relationship! Reading all your replies really helped clarify things and stopped me from somehow blaming myself. He is looking for a mythical perfect woman who does not exist and I (like all of us) deserve someone who accepts me. I put 100% into it, so no regrets

Thanks for all your replies Smile

OP posts:
ScrambledEggAndToast · 28/03/2015 22:08

Not good. When I was with my ex-husband I kept sending him friend requests on FB and he kept saying that he wasn't getting them Confused I found out he had been cheating on me and that was one of the multiple reasons we split.

Starlightbright1 · 28/03/2015 22:16

Good Luck..

The FB thing is the tip of the iceberg...Move on and find yourself someone who really wants to commit not talk about it.

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