EXH threatening message

[forumdonkey]

My exh was arrested and charged nearly 8 years ago for assault on me. It wasn't the first time, there was numerous including him punching me so hard I lost a tooth.

Fast forward to this weekend. I have been NC for a few years as my DC's are 18 and 20 years old now. He has sent my eldest a message which basically says how much he hates me and he's going to get even with me.

WWYD??

I wonder why someone would attempt to put another person off seeking professional support in a situation like this

nitpicking at the terms used makes you look like someone who would do that

Yeah you're right AF. To fuck with trying to make sure they're reporting the right thing. This is mumsnet, just make shit up as you go along. Anyone calls you on it, just accuse them of "nitpicking"

The fact of the matter is, this MAY not be an offence. If it is not, why get the police involved?

I would not give one toss if it is an "official offence" or not. That wouldn't be my call. The fact is, this guy is threatening op and she is frightened of what he might do.

It is not the OP's job to decide if an offence has been committed. They simply have to report that they are being threatened and feel intimidated by someone who has a history of carrying out threats and making assaults. The police exist to protect citizens from harm..... That's what she'd be asking them to do.

georgepigsdinosaur I don't know the ins and outs, but someone with a record of violence making a threat against someone MAY be an offence. That is why it is worth contacting the police, if the OP chooses.

forumdonkey how much do your sons want to keep in contact with their father out of love, and how much out of fear? Do they want to keep contact at all? It may be worth having a long talk with them, because they may not realise choices available to them and it may affect how you react to this threat.

george - Are you a Police officer?

Fuck it, we should all ring the police every day and give them a full break down of what's happened since the last time we have called them. After all, it's not up to us to decide if any offences have occurred. I mean it may take up a bit of their time, but why exercise a bit of responsibility to determine if we are reporting a crime to them first?

So what do you suggest the OP should do georgepigsdinosaur?

george, I agree the actual wording is significant, as I expect police would ask for the same information.

what would you have OP do?

That's a bit hyperbolic!

What would you suggest she do george?

I would suggest that it is a threat, especially with past assaults, and simply as that it should be taken to the police who are pretty capable of determining whether it is a crime or not, or whether a simple call to alert him that they are aware of his threats will do.
A paper trail with a dangerous man is very handy to have, and they tend to react quicker when a physical threat looms if they have evidence of the background.

x post with cogito.

OP, as others have said, make contact with the police please.

Of course she should report it, 101 not 999 obviously.

The last time, several years ago, someone (not a child) threatened me - I informed the police. Not much happened, but it did flag it, and would have helped if things had escalated or repeated. Why wouldn't I report it? Threats are not a daily occurrence (even in this case for the OP from her ex).

Georgepigsdinosaur I am sure I saw you doing this very thing on another recent thread?
I wonder what your agenda is hmmm?

I'd consider getting a non mol order which includes your dc. Your dc should not be used as a way of making threats to you and causing them to live in fear.

Definitely report this bully to the police.

It seems to be a "theme" Pam - which is really sad actually.

perhaps George is the op's ex

AnyFucker I was about to say the exact same thing!

lost my bottle to be too flippant

I'd personally ignore it. It's not a direct threat (from what the op had initially posted)' and its made to a third party over social media. It wasn't made to her and she's gone out of her way to find it. It's all a bit juvenile really

if this was an isolated incident george then yes I can understand your approach. (although I don't entirely agree)

but take the backstory - op has been assaulted by this man previously and he was charged!

sending messages like that is not acceptable at all..third party or not

I agree with NN and everyone else.

It MIGHT be an offence. Er, therefore DON'T involve the police? That makes no sense - it's for the police to decide whether that's the case. Also, the OP is clearly upset and has suffered violence from this person before, it's not a one off, there's history. I would call the police.

Tell us about yourself, georgepig.

The son is not a "3rd party"

he is directly involved

I think it's George that needs to get his terminology sorted out

Not its not acceptable NamesNick, but that doesn't mean its for the police to sort out.

What are posters advocating the police expecting them to do?

Their JOB. Weird!