DS (15) would like to change his middle name and surname to get rid of his dad's surname ...

[Karenthetoadwhisperer]

DS is now doing some GCSE's and it troubles him that his full name will be on the certificate and on the test papers to include his father's surname in addition to my surname. Both our children have both our surnames, eg. Toad-Toadwhisperer. DS also has his father's first name as a middle name that he also wants eliminated. So he is going to change from having four names to two: His first name and his surname that he is known by, which is my surname.

I can complete the application online and I do not need his father's consent, as he has no parental responsibility and we were not married and are not married now.

My problem is that it is unfair on DD who is 10. When DD was born, her father automatically acquired parental responsibility due to a change in the law. Their father would have to agree to a name change and my children will then have different surnames, however in their German passports they have only my surname anyway, because I was never married to their father. It's complicated.

Their father is on both their birth certificates. They were born in the UK.

When DS is 16, he can change his name himself, of course. I have asked him to wait until he is 16 which is before he will receive his GCSE certificate and he will then have some more time to think about this step. However, he has been decided for over a year that he wishes to change his name and he remains adamant. It really troubles him and I do believe he would be happy if I agreed to do this for him now.

But what if he reconciles with his father?

Shall I go along with DS's decision?

I changed my surname by deed poll when I was 18 (and needed no ones permission), and I've kept it after marriage by appending my newest name, such was the power I felt it gave me over own my life after a feckless and mostly absent father.
It was immensely liberating

From your threads, you are far stronger than Toad, so let him bluster.

I have very few regrets, but I do regret that one of my most important (to me) awards is in my ExH's name. I got the award before we divorced and cannot do anything about it now. I don't display it and every so often I look at it and wish I'd had the sense to change my name back the second we seperated.

Let him do it Karen. DD can do the same when she is of age.

Dear All,

Thank you for your support and I have just paid and sent the application off and I have emailed his school with a copy so he can write his 'new' name on his exam papers for the English speaking tests next week.

Thank you all!

Yay! Well done Karen :)

Thank you Thumb The power of Mumsnet.

Love you all! [heart]

Go Karen the toad slayer! Well done.

I am amazed at the speed that the Deed Poll Office works. They have already sent out the deed poll to me and emailed me two types of cover letters to use for passport applications and other purposes. Fast work.

Could you provide the link for the deed poll office that you used?

Why - Do you think it's dodgy?

OH MY GOD - I thought it was a government agency

It is deedpolloffice.com

It is probably some con agency - I should have done my research.

Karen, we did the deed poll thing at the local registrar, as in Births etc at the town hall. This is in Scotland do don't know if it's the same where you are.

Govt offices [always?] have .gov.uk

But it might be OK, just more money than you needed to pay. I'll PM you.

I think it is a seperate company not a gov office, I recall it being very quick to do when I changed my name..

Karen according to this government link you need to be over 16yrs of age to change your name.

Children under 16yrs need consent from both parents (assuming they both have parental responsibility).

Fairy, it's ok, only Karen has PR and so she can do it for him.

Ah, didn't realize.

I have seen some of her threads but not all of them.

Deed polls are totally free to do. Unfortunately there are alot of websites that claim to make an easy process easier and take your money in the bargain. You only start paying the Govt when you want to Gazette the deed poll, which for the vast majority of things is unnecessary.

Link here to official Government site.

Yes, thank you all, I have sole PR and there is no shared agreement or anything like this in place. The website did take me efficiently through the correct process and asked all the questions that I expected, so I was quite happy to follow the process and get on with it. It was not expensive, ca. £30 including some duplicates and I received a confirmation immediately plus templates for letters to go with the deed poll for the school, passport office etc.

It should not be a big deal at the passport office, as far as they are concerned, only the middle name is gone.

Have you used them as well, peppapig? They have already sent the certificate out.

Yes pretty sure that's who I used it was a little while ago.. The deeds were all correct and accepted at passport/dvla bank etc..

And was there anything else you had to do peppa? Other than signing it with a witness present?

I am going to have to apply for new passports for the DCs soon which is going to be interesting.

So far being a 'lone parent' has been a breeze, apart from the money lack of it, of course, as with Toad I was practically a lone parent most of the time anyway, but with these things I wholeheartedly embrace the Mumsnet support, to get a second and third and fourth ... opinion on things.

Hi Karen woo hoo on working so fast

I did mine at a solicitors office, approx. 10 minutes and £10 (20 odd years ago) and it was the receptionist that signed mine, I didn't even see a solicitor! All I had to do was send the signed, original, change of name doc off with my passport and voila - scarily surprisingly easy

Yes that was it just sign it..I was surprised at how easy it is to do!

Documents arrived today, with ten copies for just in case.

I agree, peppa how easy was that?