I am going to probably say something a bit controversial and I am certain many won't agree with me because its just not fashionable!
Men and women often talk about different things. As women we are socialised to listen and be polite, we are conditioned also to listen because we take on the role of the emotional care giver and we listen because our interests and strengths are directed towards interpersonal relationships. I have many great female friends but their entire rep is directed towards talking about relationships, from their parents in law to the women in the playground to the woman up the road who doesn't speak to them. It can be tiresome even to me, when sometimes I like to talk about current events, hobbies, sports, politics or work.
If you watch and listen in a group you tend to find that men do not fear talking, they literally dominate in public spaces. Women listen and tend to hold back. Men are conditioned to feel entitled to speak and they have observed all their lives that women listen. You might also observe that men if they do listen it is due to: interests closely correlated to their own, an alpha male who talks the loudest or a woman they find attractive.
I don't know what the answer is for you but I experienced something similar with dp when the children were very young. He worked and had a public life outside of the home, I looked after the children and my life revolved around the drudgery of the home. We drifted and I often gave up trying to speak. This sapped my confidence dreadfully. Two things helped, I started to build another life outside of caring for the children, found interests and got back into hobbies and started studying and running a business. I also started to flirt, tease, and laugh, I literally got his attention by sitting on his lap and being playful. So yep, once I had his attention it was still my role to hold on to it and do the emotional labour that men avoid.
When I think about it, I wonder just how much has changed since my Grandmother's day when it was women's work to hold it all together, to be subjugated, to be unfulfilled unless fulfilling the role of perfect wife, perfect mother and great companion. But I sometimes think it may be tougher now, because modern partnering is also about being dynamic, multi-tasking, multi-talented, confident, sexy, go-getting, successful, high earning, literally we must sell ourselves over and over.