Done something awful and feel terrible

[Feelingreallystupid]

Was on holiday last week with my kids and dp and his child. Everything was going well, kids were getting on and no issues apart from the fact that dps child frustrates me with his attitude at times. Thinking no one could see I secretly gave him the v sign as he walked in front of me. Dp saw and now it's understandably caused a problem . It was done in a moment of madness and after a few drinks. I have apologised profusely. Can it ever be put right?

MarianneSolong your post shines with sense and experience to me.

I have done this many times, it feels good! It lets out a bit of anger without actually confronting someone.

Sorry, I have to disagree with the majority of posters; I'm with Paula and Nikki here. It was a way out of order thing to do and if a male had done it to a MN posters child then there would have been cries of 'red flag, deal breaker, LTB'.

Flicking the v's literally means, fuck off. It is not a minor issue, it's highly disrespectful, insulting and rude. If some adult did that to my child I'd be furious, not 'a little cool.'

Well, Eekaman, I suppose it is a cultural thing too. I think a bit bit freer and easier with the V sign than you are.

the only reverse of this thread if it was a male coming on and sayin 'i've done soething awful and feel terrible' and describing a moment of frustration with a teenager and giving a quick v behind her back and how awful about it he felt and how he'd never treat her badly it was just a childish moment and he really regretted it.

you really think mn would have ripped him to pieces?

this is the person themselves who did it feeling terrible - the true reverse would be the person themselves feeling awful and admitting their mistake publicly on a forum. if you must insist on this 'you wouldn't say this if the sexes were reversed' then at least GENUINELY reverse the sexes.

you really think mn would have ripped him to pieces?

MN has form for ripping male posters to shreds for things that would get a female one sympathy so it's possible to tell.

with the exact wording, remorse etc as shown by this op i'm thinking he'd get the same mix by the same posters as he got on this one - some ripping him apart (as this female op has had) some saying it wasn't nice but at least he's sorry and he should try to resolve the issues with feelings towards the child etc and some saying this isn't a big deal.

I think it is impossible to tell.

Despite my typo in my last post.

I think the balance would be completely different had the OP been male.

Maybe the balance would be different statistically, SoupDragon, but there are still an awful lot of level-headed people on mumsnet. Last night there was an anti-MIL thread and the female OP was considered to be seriously in the wrong by over 90% of the posters.

Yup, I agree with soupdragon!

Yes, what SoupDragon said..here's a recent example. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2314145-OW-and-ex-ruined-me?