ok so a little background first. I've always been the sensible one. Never the prettiest, always the boring one in a group. I met my chap when I was 15 and we are still together now. He too is far from a social butterfly and has no desire to be. But this is untrue for me.
So I don't have many friendships from school. One of two that live near by that I exchange texts with on occasion. Same applies to one or two girls I met at uni. They live a good hours drive away though. I have two friends I have known for years but like me, they have good jobs and kids and relationships so finding time to meet is hard. My chap also has never met their boyfriends, and from what I hear, they wouldn't share any similar interests either so the idea of us doing something in couples seems unlikely. I recently ended a friendship with a couple that we used to see frequently because I was sick of being spoken to like crap and back stabbed. I think I only let it go on for so long because when it did work, it worked well. And I probably feared being in the situation I'm in now. I have tried to make time for one or two of my friends to try and strike up an even better friendship but we don't have anything to talk about as I don't know any of their friends, and there's only so many times you can meet up to talk about work and kids etc. In fact there were a few awkward silences. I'm feeling quite low at the moment and a perfect example is that writing it on here to a load of people I've never met rather than text or ring someone on my phone. If I did, they would seriously wonder why I was telling them! Last night myself and my partner actually went to my mums for a drink. How sad is that? Combined with the fact that most of the call logs in my phone are to and from my mum. Truth is, one of my friends (who I said I was trying to get more friendly with) said we should do something for my 30th. She had all these great ideas and asked me who I would invite. I didn't reply because the only reply I would be able to give would be "you and maybe my mum".
I miss having a best friend. Someone to ring when I've had a bad day. Someone to send birthday cards to. Someone to cosy up with on a Saturday night and share a bottle of wine. I just wanted to see really if anyone else is in a similar situation. Is it normal? Any ideas on how to make it better or should I just come to accept it? Sat here on my own now just thinking about life and I just feel overwhelmed with sadness for some reason. 