I'm 28 and have been with my other half for 6 years in June, we have lived together for around 18 months. I seem to have got to a point in my life where all my friends who are in similar long term relationships are getting engaged, married and having children. My O/H is less bothered about marriage but knows that it is important to me and I would like it to happen.
Last year 2 of my closest friends became engaged and that really made me start thinking about my own relationship and when this might become a reality for me. I sat down with my O/H and had a heart to heart with him about how I felt and where we were at in our relationship and where it was going. He promised me that proposing was something he would do and it would happen before I was 30.
Six months have passed since that chat and I have tried hard to not mention proposals or engagements since - I didn't want to be that girlfriend who only got proposed to because he had been nagged into it. Last week, one of my O/H friends got engaged to his girlfriend, they have only been together a year, she doesn't even live in this country and they see each other every 6 weeks - I'm not going to lie I was a bit fed up about hearing the news as it made me question my relationship again.
I promised myself I wasn't going to mention anything about this friend getting engaged but last night we went out for a few drinks and I ended up mentioning it. The crux of the matter was that he said he would now not be proposing before I was 30 because I wanted to go on a fairly expensive holiday next year to celebrate my 30th and he needed to save up for that and also that he has just bought himself a brand new car on lease and he is now going to be paying that back over the next 5 years.
I don't really know what hurt more, the fact that he isn't planning on proposing to me any time soon or that he didn't tell me. He said it's because of the holiday, but the car is for the next 5 years which makes me think he hasn't thought long term about the implications that paying that amount of money back every month for 5 years will have on future life decisions. He has a good job but does plead poverty in situations that involve spending money sometimes.
I don't really know what I'm looking for advice wise from this post, I think it just feels good to get it all down so to speak. I think that the reality of me getting engaged and married isn't going to be happening for a few years now just made me fed up.