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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else living with a drug user?

119 replies

magicgirl79 · 20/02/2015 17:16

From my past posts you will know my H is a cannabis user, not just the occasional smoker but everyday, regularly.

I do not and have no interest in drugs but I have noticed now this is bothering me more and more.

He can be moody and sulky in between the high stages and just want to see if there is anyone else in this situation and how it effects their everyday life. Or if this situation has caused you to split?

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 01/03/2015 09:43

Magic I have a lot of experience of living with someone with an addictive personality. Alcohol, drugs the lot. My ex doesn't see smoking weed as anything harmful - still. However, the dc won't see him now as they just don't understnd the moods. He'll be Disney dad, happy and tolerant one minute then once it's worn off a few hours late and he is restricted in how much he can have, he's vile and shouty and brings them back to me

They can smell it too, they've found little blocks of resin, papers etc. they know he smokes weed

He won't work, he's paranoid, has no friends and looks 25 years older than he is

My brother has smoked weed all day, every day for 30 years. He's depressed, can't get anything done. Never makes it to family gatherings. Always skint. No motivation

Even after all this time I don't think either of them see the connection

magicgirl79 · 01/03/2015 13:04

Thank you everyone, im at an all time low today. In tears now, I cant do this anymore.

H has maybe muttered 10 words to me so far this morning. Im just back from work and I don't know whether its hurt I feel or furious but im shaking and crying.

Does he even see how he treats us? I am now a moody so and so most of the time also now, this is just going round and round!

Sorry I just needed to vent.

OP posts:
VernonGodLittle · 01/03/2015 13:50

I used to be a drug user myself. Believe me, nothing was more important than the drugs, so I know the thinking patterns. Makes one very selfish. Possibly he's self medicating, so could do with seeing his GP. You can suggest he does this, but the motivation has to come from him.

This sounds like a crap, untenable situation for you Magic. Partner shouldn't make you feel angry and shaking and crying on your return from work. You should be enveloped in lovely warmness, not sullen behaviour.

He knows his behaviour is affecting you as a couple/family, yet still unwilling to take any steps to change. And only he can make that decision, addicts are selfish.

Reach into yourself and pull that strength out. It's there.

Coyoacan · 01/03/2015 17:12

Maybe you should look up Al Anon and go to a meeting or two. It's for the families of alcoholics but the families of drug-addicts go too. And you would be able to start breaking out of your isolation.

It is very frightening to leave someone, especially after such a long time and with a child between you, but that is what you should be aiming for. There is no point in asking him to give up.

Mylifepart2 · 01/03/2015 20:33

If this is how you feel - knowing that it is not you but the drugs - and you can calculate what mood he will be in when ---- imagine what is going on sub consciously for your DD ... please do this for her. Google Adult Child of Alcoholic/Addict and you will see what could be in store for her.

Wishing you strength.

HappenstanceMarmite · 01/03/2015 21:10

Following this with interest. Hope you are ok OP?

magicgirl79 · 01/03/2015 21:54

HappenstanceMarmite ~ I am ok now, just so up and down, today was a particularly bad, he hardly spoke to me at all.

I am worried if I leave, I will end up lonely, never meet anyone again etc etc, so stupid really!!

I cant see a way out of this mess for some reason, I don't have the guts to leave.

OP posts:
theendoftheendoftheend · 01/03/2015 22:04

My ex smoked weed every day, I know people say it's not addictive and physically maybe it isn't but psychological it seems to be. I left in the end, but with DC in tow I haven't quite got away. It's a horrible situation to be in Flowers

DoloresUmbrage · 01/03/2015 22:09

I sympathise op,I have similar issues. Dh is a long time smoker but a few years ago said he would give it up-he hasn't. I can tell when he's run out of stuff by his moods but he always claims that it's nothing to do with that if I mention it Hmm.
He regularly complains over the 'lack of respect' he gets but our teenager knows about his smoking and calls him a 'stoner'. We are having lots of rows at the moment and I really need to sort this out.

magicgirl79 · 01/03/2015 22:17

DoloresUmbrage ~ Do you think you will leave?

My H has terrible mood swings and it is getting unbearable as it changes my mood then our D is stuck in the middle of the silence as we do not argue.

I also find the paranoia is bad, who txt, who phoned etc, questing where I have been.

He left for a day last year after accusing me of having an affair, I called him to discuss things, he apoligised etc, wish now I never made that call!!

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 01/03/2015 23:15

I also find the paranoia is bad, who txt, who phoned etc, questing where I have been

Well, magic, I see all the signs of emotional abuse in your relationship. No wonder you are unsure about leaving when, between your shame about your partner and his jealousy, you are becoming isolated.
It doesn't sound like much of a life, I could virtually promise you that your and your dd's lives will majorly improve by separating.

lemonstartree · 02/03/2015 11:10

I left my exH becsue of his cannabis use. He smoked skunk every day and he will never stop. I was bored, lonely and frustrated as hell with him. He was aggressive, paranoid, moody, lazy, unmotivated and dirty.

It was 'never a problem' for him - but for me with three kids it was a HUGE problem.

He will never change, You have to if you want life to be different

I have not looked back since I left, he lives with his mother and still smokes week. The children have no respect for him at all.

magicgirl79 · 03/03/2015 22:03

Our D is not quite at the age to know about drugs yet but she will be soon. I know she notices the moods. Its weird, I was thinking to my own childhood when my mum and dad had ordinary fall outs and how miserable as a child I felt in the silence and then how happy I felt when they started speaking, I really don't want that for my daughter.

Im just a very anxious person and worry of the aftermath of leaving and how much she will miss her dad.

OP posts:
PuggyMum · 03/03/2015 22:13

Magic you say you worry about being lonely....

It sounds like your world is a very lonely place right now.

thisisnow · 03/03/2015 22:16

If she's noticing the moods already and she's only young I'm sure she would thank you in the long run for leaving. Have you managed to speak with anyone in real life about it?

Imagine a drug free home, no moods, just you and DD. I know you say you worry about being lonely but you sound lonely already Sad

magicgirl79 · 03/03/2015 22:19

I suppose it is, it is something I am used to.

I think we have grown into friends but he doesn't realise that. As I have said previously the mood swings just grind me down and sometimes I am so so unhappy, then he is fine of course after smoking and becomes a very nice, loving man. I don't want my daughter to think this is normal.

Im also worried I am making something out of nothing, I know people see cannabis as a soft drug but living in the environment I see the reality.

Maybe im just looking for a way out.

OP posts:
PuggyMum · 03/03/2015 22:30

It's not really a discussion about cannabis itself though....

It's the fact this has become a problem for your DP which affects his ability to function as a DP and a father.

You sound like my sil although she and bil have 2 dcs so I don't think you're my sil....
BIL has no zest for life and with dc's I find that so so sad.

You and your dd deserve zest.

Mylifepart2 · 05/03/2015 10:45

Spot in Puggy.

it is not the substance and how socially acceptable it is (alcohol, cannabis, coke, etc) or the quantity or the frequency -- it is how the intake affects the relationships of those around them - if it is negative - then it is a problem - if the user will not change/adapt their habit to acceptable levels, then the partner needs to take the action to rid the family of negativity by moving on

Please look at how it (ie whatever substance) negatively impacts your day to day home life and your DD childhood.

You really are not making something out of nothing.

I can see that in your culture/community/age group cannabis is seen as cool and harmless and it is for many exactly the same as drink - perfectly socially acceptable to consume -- but is a problem for some = alcoholic/problem drinker/addict....some people self regulate and moderate - other dont. It is all personal - it is socially acceptable for me to drink half a bottle of wine - but it triggers low mood for me which means that I am a grumpy, aggitated mother to my 4dc - so I dont now (did til end of 2014 tho).

Also I can tell you that behind closed doors there are thousand of couples dealing with the corrosive dissatisfaction of living with the negative depressing traits of a stoner. It is this centuries quiet diret secret behind closed doors -- like drink was for our parents generation - some people can moderate and self regulate - others cant = PROBLEM.

Lindt70Percent · 05/03/2015 12:07

I used to live with a boyfriend like this. We'd got together when we were 18. He smoked cannabis very, very occasionally at the start but about 3 years into our relationship it became a daily habit. I think it was because he'd just finished university and was struggling to find work. He became so boring. He wouldn't go anywhere or do anything with me because it would get in the way of his smoking. He was dull, paranoid and lazy.

He was suddenly no support to me. If I needed him he could never help. He missed my graduation ceremony (which he knew I'd really been dreading and didn't even want to go to) by pretending to be ill that day. I knew he wasn't ill, it was just that he wanted to stay at home and smoke.

I got myself a job and started making friends at work but he didn't want to know. He wouldn't meet my work friends because he thought they'd think he was stupid. If we did meet up then he'd be very sulky and barely talk to anyone. He'd always been the more sociable one of the two of us and it was a real shock. He tried to spoil my work for me by doing things like stopping me from sleeping or turning my alarm off while I was asleep to make me late for work. He'd phone me at work ranting about things and then in the evenings he'd sit staring into space.

I found it really difficult to accept how much he'd changed. It was weird seeing that other people didn't like him when he'd always been popular.

After 4.5 years together I managed to tell him it was over but it was hard as I felt like I was abandoning him. He said I was leaving because he didn't have money and now I had my graduate job I was only interested in people with money etc. It was all nonsense. I was leaving because I needed a partner. I was lucky that we weren't married and didn't have children but it was still difficult to make the break. I thought I'd never meet anyone new. I was very young but we'd done a lot of growing up together (well, I had) and he was a very important person in my life. It would have been harder to leave with children but I think I could have been more motivated in those circumstances as it would be awful for children to grow up thinking that behaving like his was normal!

We rented a flat together, which of course I paid the most for. He refused to leave but I managed to get our contract terminated early. This meant that he had to move back in with his parents 150 miles away. He was very upset about this and when his Dad came to pick him up I felt terrible. I can still picture him being driven off.

We kept in touch for about a year after I left (him phoning me at work threatening suicide etc.) and then he found someone who liked drugs as much as him and he told me he never wanted to hear from me again.

This is all about 20 years ago now! I found someone else very quickly. Lovely, reliable man with no interest in drugs. We've built a good life together and have 2 children.

I've recently heard that my ex now has severe mental health problems. I think he was depressed when he started to smoke daily and was using the cannabis to cope but it would only have made things much worse. Me staying wouldn't have saved him from this. He could have seen me leaving as some sort of wake up call and got some help then but he chose not to and moved on to much harder drugs, including heroin. I've heard he now has to have live in supported housing as he can't cope on his own. The new girlfriend is long gone which didn't surprise me as apparently they used to argue a lot over drugs (as in, stealing drugs from each other etc.).

I'm so glad I got out. You sound lovely and I'm sure you would be much happier if you got out of this relationship. Flowers

magicgirl79 · 05/03/2015 21:39

Thank you all for your advice and words. I think at the end of the day there are separate issues. The drugs is one thing, I don't want our child to know what dad does as I don't want her to think this is ok. I also don't want other parents to know as I don't want them to worry about play dates etc.

The other issue that stems from the drugs is the ups and downs, moods, sulking and generally the acting nasty when he is not high or chilled from the drugs.

I have come to realise I don't think I have a known a day in our whole relationship where he has not smoked drugs or drunk cans, even when we went through IVF he was smoking hash even though we tried desperately for a baby he refused to take the step to quit to do everything to up pur chances.

OP posts:
littlejessie · 06/03/2015 04:01

I was in your situation OP - the best thing I ever did was leave that bullying, emotionally bankrupt vampire. I was so confused by his horrible mood swings that I was totally unable to see clearly just how abusive his behaviour really was. I was frightened to leave as I'd have to bear responsibility for having removed my DD from her dad (I see now that responsibility was HIS, not mine). He spent a long time convincing me I should be supporting and helping him - which I stupidly did try to do.

He repeatedly spent money we did not have on bloody pot, leaving me scrabbling around for food and mortgage payments. And by the way, his drug use did end up escalating once we'd separated. I was completely and utterly lonely - trying to maintain a facade of normality for everyone else so I could try and foster friendships for DD, and try and have a normal life. My god, looking back I do not know how I managed, save to say that my reality gradually became so warped that I learned in stages how to cover up for his oddness and lack of engagement in anything. He couldn't even go through my labour without nipping off here and there for a smoke. He was NEVER there for me when I needed support or kindness, unless it was a dopey, simulated version of going through the motions. He was rude to my family, and still is a selfish, pathetic apology for a father. He was controlling, not speaking to me for days at a time sometimes, for no real reason. I really did end up walking on the proverbial eggshells.

I might pm you a few old threads if it might be useful?

DixieNormas · 06/03/2015 04:31

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlejessie · 06/03/2015 07:02

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/521071-my-dp-has-told-me-he-hates-me-for-getting

Here's one of mine. Makes me cringe to.read it. I'm posting it for you partly because there used to a great mner called Colditz (don't know.if she's still here), who linked to some of her old threads. Look how we do the same thing and stick up for these idiots despite all the great, astute advice we are given!

You sound further down sickened road than I was though, OP!

magicgirl79 · 06/03/2015 21:23

littlejessie ~ thanks for the link, How is you life now? Where is he now?

Im just so drained with the ups and downs, never knowing what to expect when either I get home or he comes home, it is so tiring!

Tonight I realised he has been using my car to go to the dealers house to but Cannabis.

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 06/03/2015 23:04

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