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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What would you spend it on????

84 replies

OneDayMySleepWillCome · 14/02/2015 10:02

My lovely DH gave me £100 and told me to spend it on a) something I want not something I need and b) not to just put it in my purse and dwindle it on paying for little bits of things here and there.

Bit of back story- we live comfortably. I am a SAHM, DH works full time. 2 little ones. They have everything they both need and want. We can afford to buy whatever we need within reason. We're by rolling it it my any means- we have o save to go on holiday or for a big purchase but we don't have to stress about money. Own our own home etc.

That said I would never have £100 to just go and spend on me! he says nothin practical- I immediately thought of new nursing bras! As that would be something we would just buy cos it was needed.

So what you all of you do with it???

Just a little wondering post really- incase anyone thinks I'm in a quandary as to what to do! I'm not! I'll go shopping and have not much trouble finding stuff probably! I was just wondering what everyone else would go for!

OP posts:
AddToBasket · 14/02/2015 11:09

Lighten up weird posters! The OP was appreciating her DH and he was appreciating her. And she has £100 to spend. Geez. Way to put a totally weird and unnecessary downer on a nice Valentine's.

OP, make up and nice thing for bath (as above) but if there was any left I might try to squeeze in a delicious candle. One of those £30 ones that always seem like the height of Fabulous. Let us know what you get!

BerylStreep · 14/02/2015 11:09

The OP was only asking others what frivolity they would spend £100 on.

I doubt she intended to ask for a critique of the financial equality of her marriage.

Hmm MN is such an odd place at times

Original poster
OneDayMySleepWillCome · 14/02/2015 11:13

Ha thanks those who have taken it the way it was intended.

Duly noted that I maybe shouldn't have posted it In relationships, I did think it was relationship related but perhaps not enough! Never mind, it's here now.

And to whoever said it...don't worry the money did not come from the house account!

OP posts:
Seriouslyffs · 14/02/2015 11:14

There are some real grumpy mares here this morning.
Possibly 'relationships' isn't the perfect topic but please unclench people.

Seriouslyffs · 14/02/2015 11:15

Oh hello, we x posted.
Pedicure, hand cream and books.

TiredOctopus · 14/02/2015 11:19

I'd buy a lovely new dress from Monsoon and a new handbag. Hope you get something lovely OP.Smile Smile

RandomMess · 14/02/2015 11:22

I'd probably have a night/day out with friends Smile

DontKillMyVibe · 14/02/2015 11:28

Manicure, new dress and blowdry and then he can take you out for dinner?

Original poster
OneDayMySleepWillCome · 14/02/2015 11:30

Haha dont that would be a great idea...no babysitter though! Another night!!

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 14/02/2015 11:43

I get what you're saying OP. £100 can be a lot of money to spend just on yourself and neither I nor dh would do that without checking in with each other because we would consider it selfish. And we do actually live quite comfortably, though not extravagantly.

It's not him giving her £100 from 'family money' it's him saying to her, go on treat yourself, don't think about anyone else, put yourself first. The only reservation I would have is that it's valentines day, so is that a lazy gift or did he get something separate for valentines?

That said, I haven't got anything for dh and there seems to be a gift for me sitting on the windowsill, so maybe I should bung him £50? Grin

Original poster
OneDayMySleepWillCome · 14/02/2015 12:56

Oooh fair what was in your windowsill gift, We don't ever bother with valentines- other than cards. I got him nothing! He got me some of my favourite hotel chocolat chocolates, some fancy tea & coffee that I will love (I recently commented that with a 6month old who does not sleep and a 2 year old, tea and coffee are my saviours!) and some new long sleeved pyjama tops as I keep complaint of being cold when up feeding ds though the night! So I thought lovely presents- especially since we don't bother otherwise! Plus the money in the card!

OP posts:
Pippin8 · 14/02/2015 13:22

I'd totally blow it on a Spa day or make up & jewellery. Pretty stuff you don't really need.

ExitStageLeft · 14/02/2015 13:34

Ooooh, how lovely. I'd get a pedicure, massage and facial. Or a kindle. Or lovely stuff for the house like candles or a really expensive throw.

XLIX · 14/02/2015 13:36

I don't see this as weird at all. My dh and I have a joint account and separate accounts. OP, what catches your fancy? For me it would be perfume, visit to salon or year's subscription to a beauty box. Enjoy!

Fairenuff · 14/02/2015 13:42

I haven't opened it yet as he's out doing gym, swim, bike ride so I will wait til he gets back.

bimandbam · 14/02/2015 13:42

If it were me I would buy either boots (have a look on branch309) or some nice jeans and top. Or some nice make up that I don't need but just want. A kindle if I didn't have one. A really good haircut and colour. Something nice for the house like photoframes. Or a candle. Some nice socks and knickers or pjs.

Its lovely to have money just to blow.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 14/02/2015 13:52

Gosh people are tetchy today. Maybe the valentines card and flowers they were hoping for didn't materialise.

I think it's a nice thought OP, better than wasting £30 on a massive bunch of flowers that will die in days. I've recently had something similar, my grandmother has just sent me some 'secret' money to spend on myself. I'm a SAHM to a 15 month old and also pregnant and feeling a bit spotty and frumpy so it was lovely.

I've got a wedding coming up and nothing suitable to wear as I'm pregnant so would spend it on a nice new dress/shoes. Otherwise I would maybe spend it on a massage or facial and use the rest to treat myself to a coffee and cake in my favourite cafe and a bit of make up if there was any left. The time 'off' to go shopping/to the spa/for a coffee would be as much of a treat as the treat itself!

HaveTeaWillSurvive · 14/02/2015 13:58

Crikey some people are really on the attack about this. We earn equally in our house and share all the cash but I have a hard time justifying spending money just on me even though we can afford it whereas I actively encourage DH to have little treats. It would be a lovely gesture for him to 'force' me to treat myself even though it's both our money, just as it sounds is the case for the OP.

I'd treat myself to a nice day out, coffee cake and a book in peace then lunch and getting nails done with a friend... In fact might need to leave this post open for him to find Grin

Joysmum · 14/02/2015 16:01

I get what you're saying OP. £100 can be a lot of money to spend just on yourself and neither I nor dh would do that without checking in with each other because we would consider it selfish. And we do actually live quite comfortably, though not extravagantly

This is why I would loathe to have this system.

The constant justification and checking up with each other before you spend on what you want gives you no autonomy over your own money and greater potential for arguments if you are mismatched in spending patterns. Confused

We have our own current accounts. DH spends more each month (he likes a car that costs more to run and is newer with higher depreciation), mine money builds so I can afford big things when I want them. My last purchase was over £1200 with no need to check with DH as its my money.

OP, if you don't know what to do with it that tells me that trying to spend it now would be squandering it. Pop it away and at some point you'll want something and that will then be spent on something that actually matters to you. Smile

LadyLuck10 · 14/02/2015 16:15

Op ignore some of the miserable people on here trying to take the joy away from your DH lovely gesture.
I would have a lovely haircut, and some makeup or a lovely coat and scarf. My DH does this too sometimes it's so thoughtful and caring.

tilliebob · 14/02/2015 16:19

I'd buy myself a stack of books after spending half a day in the bookshop. Or buy myself a lovely piece of Ortak jewellery. Or some piece of Emma Bridgewater that I could never justify paying for before. Or go for a nose in my local art gallery....sod it, just send it here and I'll spend it for you Grin

KiaOraOAotearoa · 14/02/2015 16:32

OP, I've just come back from the shops. I bought a Chantecaille concealer in nude. £32 or something rather. It's fab, lasts a very long time and makes me look like I've just had a weekend of sleep.
A chanel eye shadow palette type of thing, in 'rose majeur', about the same amount. It's sort of pink and purple (sounds vile, but it is not, once you put it on it really opens up your eyes, the purple turns into a sort of soft grey. Has a light shimmer to it, but nothing garish, it looks dewy as opposed to sparkly. And a navy linen t-shirt from White Company, about £35 I think. I wasn't planning in that one, but I've had one of theirs for years, it's beautifully cut, washes well and dries quickly.
That's roughly £100. Well worth it, they'll last me quite a while :)

fredfredsausagehead1 · 14/02/2015 16:50

I know what you mean op Smile

I'd buy a coat or some boots and a book Grin

fredfredsausagehead1 · 14/02/2015 16:52

You can have loads of spare money but as a selfless mum nobody is going to give you money and say spend it on yourself! Everything you do is for house and kids! Miserable old mumsnetHmm

Notrevealingmyidentity · 14/02/2015 16:54

I'd say massage and maybe new make up or similar.