Why do i feel terrible?

[magicgirl79]

I have been coming on this site for about 6 months for advice now as I don't have ANYONE I can speak to in r/l.

Back story, married with one d/c, breadwinner and supported my H, paid all mortgage payments etc for the last teens of years.

He was never interested in getting a job, mainly due to (I believe) smoking weed everyday, so found it difficult to not smoke during the working day and became irritable, moody so nothing ever lasted.

Now he has a p/t job and I feel terrible that im not supporting him 100%, I just feel I have been doing it for so long and I don't expect a pat on the back! He is doing well not smoking well through the day but say he will not quit and will continue when he is able to.

Im so mixed up, I should now be happy that he is at least working but somehow im not, im really trying, maybe it will take time to get me used too, at the same time im waiting for a let down.

Look at it this way. If you do decide to leave now then at least he's employed and will find it easier to cope without you. (Although that doesn't preclude him going AWOL from work on a huge weed bender for days and then blaming you when he gets sacked.)

You said you felt you were waiting for a let down. Has that happened before?

Yes, he has been in many jobs that after a month or 2 he has left has he has been spoken to wrong or such like. This is mainly down to the fact he hasn't smoked weed and is agitated, hence he then leaves his job.

He is ok when he has smoked but this is because he is high, and how sad is it, I don't really like him not high as he makes me down and nervous x