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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - The Wheels On This Bus Go Around And Around, In Search Of Sobriety.

999 replies

Mouseface · 12/02/2015 09:52

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

This is the brave babes bus, Gerald. He travels far and wide, to wherever he's needed to offer non judgemental support, advice and Opal Fruits!!

We can tell you about the kind of places that can help, your GP can be the first and easiest place to start, or you can look up you local community addiction centre, or even just come onto the thread and let it all out.

There are posters here who have been on the Bus from the start and those who have just joined us Smile

It doesn't matter how long you've been here, the fact that you have taken that first amazing step in acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, things aren't quite right with your drinking is truly MASSIVE!!

This is a safe place for you to just be and to be as honest as you like, or just to talk.

We'll listen Smile

And if you'd like to see our last thread, you can JUST HERE

Plus if you'd like to see where these threads all began, you can read all about that YOU CAN READ THIS VERY EMOTIONAL AND MOVING THREAD

See you soon,

Mouse xxx Smile

OP posts:
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SweetLathyrus · 15/03/2015 20:48

Just had the best text. Or rather, DH did, wishing me happy Mother's Day from his DS (my littlest grown-up DSC) because he'd lost my number Blush.

lookingforhope · 15/03/2015 23:07

Aw, isindie, big hugs Flowers. I know just how you feel, when I lost my mum the lack of empathy from WB drove a wedge between us that has never gone. And escalated my drinking from heavy social drinker to sneaky secret drinker as well. I hope you can talk to your OH about it, and hope it is awkwardness and forgetfulness rather than lack of care for lovely you.
Right, am waiting to be picked up for the Northern lasses trip to find Wry (clears throat and warbles a few bars of Waterloo ready for the Abba medley}. Allons-y as Dr Who says...

Mouseface · 15/03/2015 23:29

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Today has been hard, I wanted to phone my mum and tell her how much I love and miss her. I can't do that. She's gone from this life but in many others that I think of.

Life like that will never change. She'll always be just so and I will remember the way that she smelt, the way she would give me that 'look' and know I was in the shit!

Today has been amazing. I had a white gold necklace with DD' and Nemo's name inscribed on them with their birth stom=ne, plus some gorgeous diamond stud earrings. I am very lucky to have a family who cares so much.

Now to bed as my volunteering role is tomorrow and then another on Wednesday to help a lady that I just have go and collect her shopping for. She lives only doors away.

I'm sorry to read that some of you are struggling. I truly am, you need to feel safe from the demon drink and all of the shit that if brings with it.

Anyway - to bed. Thank you all for caring about us. night xxxx

Be brave - tomorrow is a whole new day xxx :) xxx

OP posts:
lookingforhope · 16/03/2015 08:14

Morning. Last working week with an office colleague this week. He leaves on Wednesday for a new job, after which I will be on my own managing everything as we shut down the network. Going to London tomorrow for appraisal (yes, really. Why? When we have all been axed?) and to have last meet-up with other 'surplus' (lovely word Angry) colleagues from across the country. Some of whom I have worked with for 14 years and survived three previous redundancy rounds with. None of the rest of us know what we will do at the end of the month. This is not going to be a good week. Sad

SweetLathyrus · 16/03/2015 08:47

Morning All.

Feeling slightly better this morning and my weigh-in on the Wii-Fit (once I had removed the puppy weight!!) was 9st 2lbs. That is 9 whole lbs lost since Jan, and on a short-arse like me, that's a lot of difference Grin

Hope would your appraisal be an appropriate moment to ask some questions? At my work, the annual appraisal also asks us to cite barriers to progress and needs for development as well as appraisal. Hope it goes ok anyway.

It's back to day One for me (or 74 of 75). Have a good one.

babyjane1 · 16/03/2015 09:21

Good morning babes,

ma once again I'm sorry that life has been so harsh to you of late. Regarding your Dad, it's very important that you don't commit to dealing with his care, it may seem cruel to relinquish responsibility but when he is a suitable care home and has the stimulation of other residents and trained staff there is every chance his situation will prove. I think you are dealing with a crushing amount of bad luck with great class and patience. Stay strong babe, we luv ya xxx

inside my lovely lovely lady, you should have been swathed with love and support yesterday, id liked to believe you dp was playing down the day rather than being thoughtless. I always sense you carry too many burdens in your relationship and I hope that's not out of place for me to say but you are very very dear to me and I will always "have your back", if virtual love counts you are surrounded by it.

mouse you have an astonishing way with words, a true gift, it is difficult to translate emotion into the written word but you do it with warmth, wit and abundant compassion. When I am gone I hope my daughter copes with life and loss with the class and acceptance that you have. You are a legend and we adore you.

looking you must be in a very strange bubble at the moment, how you cope with an appraisal and redundancy in the same breath is insensitive and confusing. Change is very scary but as I've said, you are clearly fabulous and this will be reflected in your future career, of that I'm sure.

sweet I hope your household is getting better and that you are feeling a wee bit better too, all the nasty bugs are over in one go and happy healthy days lie ahead!!! Xxx

I have had a bad news, good news weekend. My manic high where I run about like a loony running from the low mood that follows has indeed ended leaving me by Friday night on a terrible low. I had to drag myself to dd2's activities on sat morning after puking with anxiety and I spent the day in a terrible, tearful mood, went to bed at 9pm. Sunday was worse, I got up with dd2 but went back to bed later and remember thinking I couldn't have got up if the house was in fire, I was numb with emptiness, I was rude to my dh and kids and wanted to run away. This was the day I would've drank, I've known this feeling so many times and wine fills the hole of hell inside me and triggers the binge that knocks me out for days. BUT I didn't, I have no lives left and I had to charge through the wall that falls on me every 7 or so weeks and I did. Forced myself up and to the supermarket, bought lots of healthy foods and kept thinking of all of you pushing me out of the wine aisle pathway and I made it through. I'm still low but I am going to body attack this morning and will chase those pesky blues away. I hate the erratic nature of my mood but I must learn to embrace the highs and survive the lows and be grateful for all the great things in my life and that means ALL OF YOU.

A small victory but a victory nonetheless.

Love and hugs to every babe, everywhere. wry i'm near Glasgow and have access to horses I will ride up there if I have to singing Abba very loudly, show yourself or I'll see you and you'll hear me very soon xxx

Khalisi · 16/03/2015 09:24

Good morning, Babes.

Am so ashamed of being AWOL while some of you had really shitty days!Blush
Flowers

Work; pleasure; work; on this side. Finally had time to go to a concert on Saturday. Nothing fancy. But so good for the soul.

Also spent time with Roofer. I might need to have a word with my friend if this continues. [shame]
Nothing to be ashamed of at this point but it is so nice and uncomplicated spending time with him.
And we are both emotional Fort Knox-ish which works so well for me! Can't take all this bloody opening up crap expected of us in rl.

Please get well, the sick Babes and families.

I have been ever so moderate on the booze. Something to be happy about, at least.

Khalisi · 16/03/2015 12:10

OMG! Dind't mean to be selfish! x-posted with a bunch of babes, there.

Hope Good luck, darling babe. Will be sending you lots of good vibes. I'm really sorry you're forced to go through the appraisal. Jesus wept.
Flowers

Isindethickofit · 16/03/2015 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

obrigada · 16/03/2015 14:39

Afternoon babes x

Khalisi · 16/03/2015 18:26

Evening, my lovelies!

I keep forgetting my password. Hmm

baby my lovely, I missed your post this morning.
Flowers for the low.
HOWEVER - FUCKING ROCKSTAR for going to body attack! Grin
Bring dem dolphins on!!!
You were right up on my last horror ill again today, yelling 'Khalisi - you got this!' (you have a very interesting accent in my head! Smile
I finally got my watch repaired so I could time my run. Managed 8.7km in an hour. I'm pleased. Didn't feel like running AT ALL. Just relieved to have gotten out of the house.

Thinking of youse.

Khalisi · 16/03/2015 18:29

Hey obrigada! How are you doing, babe?

Thank you, isinde.

obrigada · 16/03/2015 19:32

All quiet here Khalisi. Well done on the running :)

Khalisi · 16/03/2015 20:03

Thanks, obrigada.

An hour ago I felt so fresh and strong and oh my god was it good that you did that and now you have sooo much energy and.... !
(those fucking dolphins!)

Now I feel exhausted and cold and tired and just want to sleep!!! Smile

Good night, darling babes.
xxx

SmallFox · 16/03/2015 20:07

Hello all. Flowers to all who are struggling - thinking of you all. Life is so unfair to such lovely people.

I am glad, though, that Mouse had such a lovely pampered mother's day - if anyone deserves that, babe, it is you.

Sweet it is day 75 not day 2. That is an end to the debate! I cannot tell you how unnerved (and envious!) I was when I saw your post yesterday. I am so impressed that you planned your drink, had it, and climbed back on the bus. How has that been - did it open the floodgates or have you found an off switch now, d'you think? I have to admit the whole episode was a big warning for me - my instinctive, visceral reaction as soon as I read your post was to go straight to the fridge to ferret around for DP's white wine - it was a whole combination of stuff, like 'if she can I can, oh, well one won't hurt, I deserve it..'. It was quite scary to be tipped back into that way of thinking so immediately and so instinctively (I had slightly thought I was through that - v interesting to realise that it is quite the reverse in reality) - and it was a relief that it was so scary because that stopped me opening the bottle. I know that if I had done so, I would not be as brave and strong as you and that would have been day 74 over and me drinking at least a bottle a day again for the rest of the year til I summoned up the energy to try again. So, overall a positive outcome (and sorry, if this remotely reads as though I am somehow grumpy with you please that is not what I mean in the slightest and you are hardly the guardian of my sobriety anyway - it is rather that I am v proud of you and know I would not be so strong!)

Pff, sorry, didn't mean to ramble. All good here, just still a bit chilly in my bones now the weather's gone off again, slightly resentful to have seen a glimpse of spring only to have it whisked away again. Khalisi, Baby well done on chasing those dolphins. I need to get out and start looking for them again.

dementedma · 16/03/2015 20:49

baby that was not a small victory. That was a massive massive victory. Bloody well done. I know how much strength that must have taken!
hope what a horrible situation. I agree with indie take every opportunity to make contacts. Do you have an updated LinkedIn profile?

Rubyredlips · 17/03/2015 08:17

Morning all. Not on much but I keep reading to update myself. Back on diet and exercise, I want to lose 11lbs but I find it so hard...boo hoo.

Have a good day y'all Smile

Khalisi · 17/03/2015 10:17

Good morning, dear Babes!

Just checking in. Whole lot of work for me. But what a lovely day! Birds singing, sun shining.

Be good!
xxx

Isindethickofit · 17/03/2015 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmallFox · 17/03/2015 10:49

Just a quick message for Isinde - that must have been so horrible, unnerving and downright heartbreaking. I am so sorry. Poor, poor you - I am not surprised you couldn't concentrate after all that. You sound to have been holding things together astonishingly brilliantly and that is precisely the sort of explicable but profoundly upsetting event that could derail things emotionally. Massively well done you for holding it together last night.

Your dad is so lucky to have you, and for you to be driving to see him. I am not sure of and don't want to presume on the kind of relationship you and he have, but are you 'safe' to let out your feelings a bit with him and have a good old sob, or are you trying to protect him from it all too? I so hope you have an outlet somewhere - and we are always here for you too.

Khalisi · 17/03/2015 10:57

Isinde my darling, babe.
Really well done last night.
I know perfectly well what you mean, about those moments.
Many years ago I had something similar looking for a parking space. I very clearly heard my friend who had passed saying something. Being so frustrated and short tempered, I yelled 'if you can't shut up at least be useful and find me a fucking parking spot!'.
Now I knew he was dead and wasn't speaking to me.
But, I got my parking spot and since then, he's my parking angel. I know this sounds crazy and I would never ever tell anyone in rl but I always ask him to be on the look out and I must tell you, over fifteen years later, I still do it.
Your mum lives on in you, my darling. She is part of the thread. It won't unravel completely. Because you are such a wonderful, wonderful legacy for her to have left on this earth.
Love you, babes.
xxx

venusandmars · 17/03/2015 11:57

KNITTED BUS

venusandmars · 17/03/2015 11:59

isindie my FIL phoned recently, he expected my dp to answer and so when I picked up the phone he got flustered and said "hello venus, it's your dad here"

We were both Shock and flustered by it!

Khalisi · 17/03/2015 12:01

Oh Venus!!!
LOVE the bus!!! Totally made my day! Grin
It so fits to us!

aliasjoey · 17/03/2015 15:12

Hello babes

Love the knitted bus venus

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