The Brave Babes Battle Bus - The Wheels On This Bus Go Around And Around, In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

This is the brave babes bus, Gerald. He travels far and wide, to wherever he's needed to offer non judgemental support, advice and Opal Fruits!!

We can tell you about the kind of places that can help, your GP can be the first and easiest place to start, or you can look up you local community addiction centre, or even just come onto the thread and let it all out.

There are posters here who have been on the Bus from the start and those who have just joined us

It doesn't matter how long you've been here, the fact that you have taken that first amazing step in acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, things aren't quite right with your drinking is truly MASSIVE!!

This is a safe place for you to just be and to be as honest as you like, or just to talk.

We'll listen

And if you'd like to see our last thread, you can JUST HERE

Plus if you'd like to see where these threads all began, you can read all about that YOU CAN READ THIS VERY EMOTIONAL AND MOVING THREAD

See you soon,

Mouse xxx

Sweet has some great ideas to for teas too, if nothing helps!
desparately trying not to be the bus perv

lol khalisi...maybe in a week or so

Good Luck for the meeting GetSober. I've definitely not thought about AA as an option. I'm hoping I can do this with my self help techniques.

I have some friends coming over tomorrow for our once a month knit night and there is always wine involved. And what isn't drunk is left. Not sure I want to cancel as it's a rare treat, but not sure I want to ask people not to bring any wine with them as then I would have to explain. Mind you, they know that DH and I are having a rough patch so I could use that as an excuse to cancel...tricky.

just realised DH hasn't thrown the beer away on the grounds that it costs more from the supermarket than a normal bottle of beer does in a pub. I wish it wasn't gluten free; I'd have no issue with normal beer...

Too late khalisi you are officially the bus perv.
Unless of course,indie reappears......

indie!!!!! You know what they say, ma! Good girls go to heaven and bad girls have ORGASMS on planes!!! (no, sadly I'm not part of the mile high club.

If you don't cancel, daisy, just ask them to take what is left with them. Not in an oh, do take it along way. More in a I'm on medication and really shouldn't mix and might just get tempted (if all else fails!). If they are good friends, tell them that right now things are rocky and you just want to make sure you're sober as the stress might invite you too drink 'over the thirst' as they would say in the dark, damp, cold shit-hole of a country?

I've decided against going to the jazz bar. It would have been nice but a 50 minute trip there and another back.
And driving to dd2 tomorrow, one and a half hour one way. Just for coffee and a mudder-dother cuddle.

So, Gerald needs to heat up, Babes!!! This is where the party at tonight!

Khalisi, you are a bad girl, if this is you sober, I dread to think what you're like after a few drinks! !

Sober, well done, girl, you should be really proud of how proactive you've been today. Hope it's been a good experience.

Men are simple creatures, Daisy, I think groping you what passes for emotional intelligence for many of them! I'm on the tea pigs mint tea tonight, in between belvoir raspberry and lemon cordial (new fav).

Just a quiet evening for us. DS made dinner for himself and DH,- being the awkward veggie, I made my own. I will need to go out with a heat pad for Bun soon, and then to bed.

Aah, Sweet!!!
And that is part of the problem! I don't feel like this is the genuine me (?!) and would want to get pissed in case I'm a bore!
Have a good one, darling babe.

daisy Nighty nighty, petal!

Sober babes, I want to stay up until you get back. But I am an hour ahead so I hope I don't fall asleep!

May I just say I don't get the whole 50 shades of grey hype!!!
Listening to the radio and they are going ON AND ON AND ON about it and I'm thinking, nah.
Didn't read the books and have no interest whatsoever in seeing the film.

See, ma, not so much of a perv now, am I?!

Well. That was pretty amazing. I did take on board the advice from here, to let someone know it was my first meeting, but that advice proved unnecessary in the end. I walked through the door and promptly burst into tears

And two people ran up and hugged me and gave me tea and generally looked after me, and I am so grateful to them. Everyone else was so nice too. Loads said well done for coming to your first meeting, you're so brave etc. I don't feel very brave at the moment though!

I really enjoyed the meeting. Everyone was so generous in sharing their experiences. And every single person said something that resonated with me. I'm home now, tucked up in my cosy bed with my lovely husband who despite everything, is still here and has not given up on me. I am so lucky.

Lots of other thoughts swirling around but that'll do for now. If any of you wonderful babes are considering going to an AA meeting - don't think, just do it. Just do it. It could be the best thing you ever do. And several people reassured me that they never push the religion down your throat at all

Well done Get, so glad you went and that it was a positive experience for you

I am so chuffed for you Sober.

No I don't get the 50 Shades stuff either, Khalisi, I think it's about being a grown up!

Sleep well everyone.

I can't fucking stand 50 Shades of Abuse. I get cross just thinking about it. Night, everyone, have sweet, babeish dreams.

Oh, sober, babes!!!
So very, very proud of you!
Now I can crash and just feel absolutely grateful that this bus is there.

Big hugs to you, my darlings.

Night, everyone!
Sleep tight.

hello Babes sorry been awol - just tired and lethargic but trying to take on faires 40 days challenge - have been exercising and doing crunches more AND going to keep it up for 40 days - even if I don't see results at first!

still drinking on and off, but mostly keeping within 'my' limits. I even suggested throwing the first glass out of a bottle down the sink (knowing I wouldn't have the willpower later on, and after all what's the difference whether it is poured down the sink or peed down the toilet? ) although DH was horrified and drank it for me.

realised after a week off work that I'm anxious about Monday, and have been anxious about work for a long time. Am wondering if I need to have a word with the boss. Job has changed radically in the last year and not sure I can cope, and that leads to mistakes.

Big HELLO to wry we missed you on board the Bus. I hope you feel a bit recharged after your holiday, you needed the time to just go and grieve without thinking about work and stuff. {bosies}

Wave to everyone else, sorry not to NC - I'm bound to miss someone if I do that!

Morning All.

It's frosty here this morning, and no sign of the promised rain and gales yet. Not sure why, but I was wide awake at 5.30 .

Hi Joey, can you avoid drinking today, so that you are fresh for work tomorrow? Easier said than done, I know, when those anxious thoughts are racing around.

Daisy come and tell us how you're doing, and Sober hope you got some rest.

Morning all. I've just read back and caught up on the news; it's been very busy!

Sweet hope you feel ok despite 5.30 start

Khalisi enjoy your visit today, you sound up beat. Yes, totally not interested in 50 shades either.

Ma you can't stay because you feel sorry for someone but must be really hard knowing how dh will react.

Joey maybe see if you can go af today and then see how work is tomorrow
I can cope better at work if I've had a good sleep but obviously talk to your boss if you're struggling.

Get great news about the AA meeting

Hi Daisy

Faire I'm with you on the 40 day challenge. Trying to tone up and continue to try to lose weight, I must lose about a quarter of a lb a week at the moment or even less or none . I weigh about 10st 7lb and want to be 9st 10lb, that won't happen in 40 days but if I could lose 4lb between now and easter I would be happy .

Good morning, darling Babes!

The good thing about not being drunk on Saturday night is being less anxious on Sunday morning.

Faire I've decided to take you up on that challenge. I don't know if I'll manage AF, but I am stopping red meat and chicken; eating fish and being mainly vegetarian. I hardly ever eat fish.
And I'm going to do a one hour yoga session at least twice a week.
And of course keep up the running. That is already having a huge impact on my quantity of alcohol so should really keep it up.

alias Do try abstaining today, if you can. I still sleep really badly on Sunday nights (since school) but I find Mondays less hard if I have nothing to drink on Sunday.
And, you want to be proactive if you feel overwhelmed with work. Its always better you approach your boss than they come to you because you've made mistakes, you know? So good luck on that one, darling babe.
Well done on the exercising! I'm always amazed at how those changes creep up on your and one day you look and think - oh, look at that!
I was putting on stockings the other day and realised that my thighs are starting to shape up. I started running in December so it been long overdue!!!

Hope you had a good night Sober. And you too, Daisy!

obrigada's been quiet. Along with a long list of babes! Shout out to you all and hope you're looking after yourselves.

Sun just shining!

Morning, all. khalisi, you sound very upbeat and ready for a good day! Well done on the running. I love it myself, but haven't been capable of it the past week I'm happy that that is going to change.

Can't go to a meeting today as DH is still ill with some horrible fluey thing, so I'm not going to leave him with the DC two days on the run. Apparently DS1 was a proper pain in the arse at bedtime last night, too but there are loads of meetings around during the week, at all times of day, so I will aim to get out of work and get to one. I am lucky enough to have the kind of job where that's perfectly possible and no one will even be that fussed if I bog off for a couple of hours in the middle of the day.

In the meantime, DS2 is having his nap, DH is back in bed, me and DS1 are snuggled on the sofa with blankets and How To Train Your Dragon. This is lovely. I've looked at both my boys today and marveled at how great they are, and how lucky I am to have them. I don't know if this is just a temporary feeling due to the events of the past couple of days, but I do feel as if I've been somehow freed up to love my family properly.

Hello all. Coming to the end of our half term trip and just waiting for the kids to drag themselves out of the pool for the last time (with associated histrionics) before driving home.

Haven't read back properly but hello to all new babes and congratulations on taking these first big steps. The bus will help so much - bonkers and non-judgmental - the perfect combination. What I love so much is that everyone has at some stage been in the same position so there is support and understanding but never any sense of 'well let me tell you' interference - it's really special.

I learn so much from those who are further down the path than me and love hearing from wise old birds popping back on day 280 or whatever - it gives me so much hope. And so if it is at all helpful for those on day one or day two, I will say that the last 52 days have been some of the most wonderful of my adult life - not in the sense of anything amazing happening event-wise but just the sense of mindfulness, of being present and enjoying the kids' day to day doings which in the past would have irritated me, especially if they interfered with my path to the fridge and the wine.

And I cannot believe I have spent half term in hotels, out for dinner each night and have not drunk. It is not true to say I have not been tempted but it has been surprisingly easy to manage. It is fair to say that quite honestly I would rather have had a drink and might have had a slightly jollier time if I had been able to do so. But I know I have no off switch and all the other compensations of being dry have made up for it a million times. So for now I know I need to try to stay sober, in order to maintain this level of general contentment, with occasional flashes of real happiness and true gratitude and occasional blips of slight boredom. I need to learn that there is nothing wrong with a comfortable middle ground and that I don't need to keep chasing extremes.I do miss the highs of alcohol when out with friends, but not all the back chat and constant negotiation with myself and the shame after the event, and the low grade grumpiness and the snapping at my lovely family and the hurt and bafflement in my little ones' eyes. So really, there is no choice, this is the only option and the right one. But it is still a very hard choice to sustain.

All of which is a really rambly way of trying to say that I didn't think I could ever do this, and I despaired. I am still not sure why it seems, touch wood, to have clicked this time - I do think that maybe we all just have to keep trying and trying and trying until one day it clicks. I hope that it sticks, for me, and for all of us, wherever we are in our journeys and wherever we want to get to. I know Gerald will help us get there and I know we will help each other too, along the way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you for helping me get this far. For all those at the start of the road, stay strong, stay loved and stay on the bus.

Sorry, I am starting to evangelise wildly. I just feel very lucky right now, though still wary. Love to you all. I hear banshee shrieking which heralds the arrival of my gorgeous children, scattering residents in their path. And I am welcoming them with joy and no measure of irritation whatsoever (well, miracles maybe might happen).

Hello babes. Sorry I've only been around intermittently. I am not doing well, and don't feel I can offer the support I want to atm.

Welcome to Daisy - you sound awesome, and with everything you have had to cope with I feel quite humbled. You are in a great place here, and will find nothing but love and support. Great to have you aboard.

Sober, well done on your first meeting. Film day with DS1 sounds magical, they are the best days. I have spent a lot of time with DD this week and even with her tweenage moods it has been awesome.

Ma, how's things? I do empathise with you. As you know I have a WB of my own, who is very unsupportive but not prepared to leave! In my head we are not together, but in RL there he is, criticising me and being negative but happy to stick around while I pay the bills...

I am having a full on mid life crisis at the moment. Didn't get that private sector job interview in the end. I think they looked at the length of my CV and worked out how old I am. And expensive. Work is horrendous. Five weeks left to the end of my contract and I have no idea what will happen next. I am really panicky, I feel that I am too old to get another job that pays what my current one does, and WB earns next to nothing as is happy to live off me.

It is really impacting my drinking. After a successful Dry January I have relapsed massively. I don't drink every day but when I do, I binge. And am secretive about it. I get panicky the day after drinking and feel I need to start again to damp down the feelings, and I know it's not the answer but I cannot cope at the moment with the uncertainty.

So sorry if I am being bit rubbish. I feel like a big old hypocrite offering advice when I am so pathetic atm. All I have to do today is tidy up and iron uniforms for school and can't even get round to doing that. (the hangover isn't helping

Big hugs to those of you who are struggling, and supportive cheers for those doing well. I am lurking and hope to be back posting regularly soon. (may have a lot of time on my hands if I don't have a job, and am worried I will fill it with drinking .) This time last year I was stressed but had a successful career. Now I feel like an old has-been on the scrapheap. Crappy marriage, no job and losing my looks. I don't know how I got to this point, but I don't bloody like it

D'aaaaagh, right, enough moaning. Throw a blanket over me and ignore me, sorry for bringing the bus down this Sunday morning

Right right right,

I leave you all for a day and it all goes bonkers!!!!!

sober oh you lovely lady, I know it's not a competition but this time 2 weeks ago I was mid binge, was pissed from Friday til Tuesday, sleeping in between sneaking out for BOXES of wine. The withdrawal had me vommitting for days, I was an honest to god "jake", my depression had turned me into a wreck!!!! Fast forward 2 weeks I'm sober, back at the gym, mood stable and went for a lovely normal meal with dh. Like you I'm skating on thin ice in the home front, I take a "bad turn" about every 6 weeks when I become manic BUT this wonderful bus and my ever loving family build me up again. I will keep fighting til I win and so must you, your super brave, big hugs.

I need to pop out but daisy I'll be back to welcome you later, your amazing lovely lady, what you've been through in life tells me your a fighter and this fight we WILL WIN together xxxx

khalisi love you and your posts, be back for a chat soon foxy lady xxx

Darling hope, so many times I have this dream of us getting rid of our WBs, from our lives, our homes our hearts. We leave the jobs which suck our wills dry of hope and confidence and pool our incredible resources to form an invincible über company which in turn sets us all free.

I am so sad that you're having such a shitty time m'dear, I have been a bit absent too lately. I wish you strength and peace and a whole bunch of bosies to tide you by. I'm gobsmacked those plebs who denied you an interview lacked the foresight to see exactly what a talented person they were letting slip through their fingers. Forgive my shite grammar, I'm raging for you.

xxx

Aw Baby forgot to namecheck you! . You have overcome your last blip fantastically, am very proud of you (even back at the gym - you go girl!!! I know when I am well because I go to the gym. Not doing it at the moment but like to read the affirmations of people who are!) You are actually one of my bus heroines, your spirit in bouncing back after bad times is incredible. Aw, you know how much I care about you xxxxx

Also very, very in awe of Khalisi for the running. I used to love to run, but since my son has become a ridiculously talented UK ranked top athlete I feel embarrassed about my 'fat mum' hippo-like jogging. (shades of 'fat daddy' from The Apprentice for all of you who are similar fans) He tells me he loves me as I am and I should just do it, because running is good and he supports the old cliche that no matter how crap you are, you are faster than the person sat on the couch, and I should run because I used to love it. Especially being out in the countryside (I am lucky enough to have woodland right outside my house, and really enjoy being in nature). But I don't, because I hate that wobbly thigh thing, so want to be thinner before I do the activity that will help me get thin . I am ridiculous, but am enjoying reading about Khalisi's athletic exploits.

PS, as I'm still here can you all tell how much I am putting off the sodding ironing ???