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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

People just don't want to know the truth about my transformation!

123 replies

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:22

Last year after I developed a chronic health problem I decided to do a lot of research into health, nutrition and so on to try and cure myself as doctors told me to basically adjust to life with constant illness and just take tablets for the rest of my life. It was a lot of trial and error but over time I found that some things really do work and that it is simple really although it did require me to change my lifestyle completely. It really came down to eating really healthy, all home cooked food, loads of veggies, giving up drinking, reducing stress, exercising 5 days a week, getting plenty of sleep, water, down time, and meditation. After sticking with the program for about 12 weeks my health improved, I lost weight, my skin glowed and I felt alive for the first time since my early 20's. It has been great and the results really do motivate me to keep it up. My transformation is noticed by my friends and workmates and many of them have asked me what I did but when I tell them their faces fall and their eyes glaze over its like they just don't want to know. Its annoying for me because it was hard work but everyone seems to want to think it was a medication, or a supplement or shake diet or that I've had work done when it was really just changing the way I live from top to bottom. I feel like they don't really want to know the truth because its just to hard to really change your lifestyle and it is but once you do it you really would never go back because it feels so great. I woner if without my health problems if I would ever have bothered so maybe that is a big motivator.

Why are people so reluctant to make these fundamental changes to their lives, why does everyone seem to want a quick fix and then roll their eyes at anyone who does make the change?

OP posts:

Jackie0 · 04/02/2015 22:24

Why is this in relationships?

Behooven · 04/02/2015 22:24

Your point being?

MorrisZapp · 04/02/2015 22:26

Well done. The reason why people don't want to make fundamental changes is because doing so is hard, as you found out.

And cutting down stress/ sleeping more are not really available options to many. The stressors aren't things they can get rid of.

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:26

because its causing me agro with friends and work mates, they think I am hiding something from them rather than just accepting that its been hard work.

OP posts:

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:27

Also I haven't been preaching to them in case you think that just telling them if they ask, which they do.

OP posts:

GooodMythicalMorning · 04/02/2015 22:27

Sometimes its jealousy that you've done it and they haven't. it's these people you smile and walk away from.

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:28

MorrisZapp I do agree its hard, I think I may not have done so if I had always been well. I did notice while doing reseach many health guru's have been very ill themselves in the past.

OP posts:

scarletforya · 04/02/2015 22:30

I honestly thought this was going to be a spam post about cider vinegar or something!

People don't want to do the hard work, they want a magic solution. It's nothing personal to you, you're just the bearer of bad news as far as they are concerned. Don't take it to heart.

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:30

It does make me angry that the way modern society is set up makes it so difficult for people to be healthy, to keep stress down and to eat well. Sometimes I feel like we are just being farmed for our labour power and our cash so that we can make the rich richer, no matter if we die young or live in pain.

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/02/2015 22:31

Why do you think there's such a brisk trade in diet books offering quick fixes and no effort? Next time someone asks your secret, dream up an imaginative answer. Bathing in yak milk at the full moon etc

Tisiphone · 04/02/2015 22:31

Look, their question is the equivalent of 'How are you?' The only answer is 'Fine.' No one actually wants to hear about your 'lifestyle change' any more than they do about your haemorrhoids or your dreams. And 'lifestyle change' evangelists are as tiresome as the religious kind.

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:31

Lol cider vinegar, I'm more of a balsamic girl!

OP posts:

Joysmum · 04/02/2015 22:32

Surely this is something you can answer yourself?

Try to think back to before you had your epithany. You'd have been exactly the same as them. You would have known to eat just enough of the right things and exercise but you didn't do it.

Don't make the mistake of being evangelical and losing your empathy.

It took for you to have a health scare to understand!

Fairenuff · 04/02/2015 22:33

It really came down to eating really healthy, all home cooked food, loads of veggies, giving up drinking, reducing stress, exercising 5 days a week, getting plenty of sleep, water, down time, and meditation.

No shit Sherlock? The reason their eyes glaze over is because everyone knows this already. It's just that they can't be arsed to stick to it.

So it's, ah right, you did that. Next...

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:34

Tisiphone, I quite agree and really I haven't done that at all, I've only spoken about it when I've been really pressed to. Its not as though I am saying they need to spend lots of money or anything its actually a very cheap lifestyle, the main issue is food takes time to prepare but money saved on booze means its not anymore pricey. I really could understand if I went about shoving it down others throats but I don't

OP posts:

APlaceInTheWinter · 04/02/2015 22:34

It may be that they just aren't that interested.

I remember a friend took a year out to travel the world with her DH and DDs. She said when she came back everyone asked her about it but very quickly they would glaze over. A lot of people have short attention spans and/or ask questions to be polite when they aren't really that interested in the answer.

You've made massive changes and are enjoying your new lifestyle which is great but really that should be reward enough. You don't need to carry everyone with you. Your changes sound very sensible and straightforward. I'm sure lots of people must have given you that advice before but you didn't act on it until events motivated you to do so. You can't motivate other people. If they're interested in the detail, they won't glaze over. If they start to glaze over, then there's not really much point in continuing that topic of conversation.

OddFodd · 04/02/2015 22:35

"Sometimes I feel like we are just being farmed for our labour power and our cash so that we can make the rich richer, no matter if we die young or live in pain."

Welcome to capitalism

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:37

Joysmum, I do say I admit that my health was what got me cooking on this, I think my op might sound a bit evangelical but I really don't think I am in real life.

Fairenuff, yes I know they know but they don't want it to be true, I agree that I would have rolled my eyes too but some have been down right bitchy about it saying "and the rest" and stuff like I have had surgery or something when I haven't.

OP posts:

guilianna · 04/02/2015 22:38

your skin glowed? runs for Geiger counter

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:41

a place in winter, what do I do then? It takes me less then a minute to say I eat well, exercise, mediate and get loads of sleep, I'm not banging on for ages about massaged kale or green smoothies.

OP posts:

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:43

Guillianna its just a figure of speech to to say that my skin really changed for the better, firmer, brighter, smoother, even tone.

OP posts:

SurlyCue · 04/02/2015 22:43

Tbh if youre saying much more than "good diet and exercise" then its no wonder they glaze over because thats all you need to say. You dont need to tell people what you eat or how you exercise. People know this stuff. It might be a revelation to you but it bores the pants of me hearing people talk about what they eat or how their planks differ from othef planks.

GingerCuddleMonster · 04/02/2015 22:46

I'd love to sleep, get to the gym 5 days a week, eat well balanced healthy meals prepared fresh, but I have a baby so that's not going to work, I live off soup and beans on toast at the moment...so nutritious .

I think more than how you did it, it's the defensive attitude and underlying smugness that puts people off engaging with you, but that's just my opinion.

Original poster

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:48

SurlyCue, I say pretty clearly above that I do not tell them what I eat or how I exericise I say only that its heathy diet, exercise, sleep and meditiation. I might say more if I am pressed but that is it. Honestly. I grew up with a mother who was a diet bore and so I know what that is like.

OP posts:

Caronaim · 04/02/2015 22:49

This is posted word for word every year.

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