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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

People just don't want to know the truth about my transformation!

123 replies

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:22

Last year after I developed a chronic health problem I decided to do a lot of research into health, nutrition and so on to try and cure myself as doctors told me to basically adjust to life with constant illness and just take tablets for the rest of my life. It was a lot of trial and error but over time I found that some things really do work and that it is simple really although it did require me to change my lifestyle completely. It really came down to eating really healthy, all home cooked food, loads of veggies, giving up drinking, reducing stress, exercising 5 days a week, getting plenty of sleep, water, down time, and meditation. After sticking with the program for about 12 weeks my health improved, I lost weight, my skin glowed and I felt alive for the first time since my early 20's. It has been great and the results really do motivate me to keep it up. My transformation is noticed by my friends and workmates and many of them have asked me what I did but when I tell them their faces fall and their eyes glaze over its like they just don't want to know. Its annoying for me because it was hard work but everyone seems to want to think it was a medication, or a supplement or shake diet or that I've had work done when it was really just changing the way I live from top to bottom. I feel like they don't really want to know the truth because its just to hard to really change your lifestyle and it is but once you do it you really would never go back because it feels so great. I woner if without my health problems if I would ever have bothered so maybe that is a big motivator.

Why are people so reluctant to make these fundamental changes to their lives, why does everyone seem to want a quick fix and then roll their eyes at anyone who does make the change?

OP posts:
grocklebox · 04/02/2015 22:49

This is how your op reads: "Why can't everyone be more like me? I'm awesome, look at everything I did, amn't I amazing? Shouldn't they all fall at my feet and beg for my fantastic advice?"

Fairenuff · 04/02/2015 22:50

Of course they don't want it to be true, they are looking for a quick fix. If you'd said you lived off raw egg on toast for 3 weeks, they'd be rushing off to have a go. But you had nothing new or interesting to offer.

Btw if 'It takes me less then a minute to say I eat well, exercise, mediate and get loads of sleep' how is there time for 'their faces fall and their eyes glaze over'

Are you sure you're not going into more detail or trying to recruit encourage others? Wink

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:53

Ginger, I have two little ones myself, I and I work but I made it a priority. I don't go to the gym either I couldn't afford the membership for a start. They are just healthy habits like eating beans on toast is a habit, not that I think it is bad I like beans on toast myself from time to time. What does annoy me is gossip I've had a tummy tuck or lipo or a laser facelift.

OP posts:
linalool · 04/02/2015 22:55

Well done. Do you mind saying what health problem you had?

SurlyCue · 04/02/2015 22:56

I say only that its heathy diet, exercise, sleep and meditiation

So where are they getting time to glaze over because that takes 5 seconds to say.

GingerCuddleMonster · 04/02/2015 22:57

well aren't you just fucking amazing, I bet the sun shines out of your arse and you shit rainbows too, god on you.

I don't have a habbit of eating beans on toast it's all I have time to make, a stark difference.

I now really want a snickers bar. I won't offer you one, you probably eat sea weed and cranberries for the antioxidants.

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 22:58

Grocklebox, I guess I am angry and upset tonight about the gossip and haters at work so I do sound a bit whiney I admit. I don't think I am amazing but I'm pleased with my results. They can do what they like but what they shouldn't do is bad mouth me and tell lies.

Fairenuff, well they ask me and I say the above and they just go "oh" and they just lose interest or press me for my "secret" what weight loss supplement did I use, what diet, did I get skin tightening etc.

OP posts:
camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 23:01

GingerCuddleMonster, that is what I am talking about you say something because someone asks and they take it like a personal attack. I do eat seaweed and I love it, but cranberries are too full of sugar I eat goji berries instead.

Well perhaps eyes glazing over wasn't the right phrase more their faces fall like many have said, they just don't want to know that its not a magic pill or face cream.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/02/2015 23:02

So give them a 'secret'. That's all this is. The Fountain of Youth.... The Secret of Everlasting Life... The advice about what constitutes a healthy lifestyle really hasn't changed for decades. Every doctor says quit smoking, get more exercise, stop eating so much, drink less alcohol. Who listens to them, right? If you want to stop the eye-rolling, give them something daft to hang onto

Fairenuff · 04/02/2015 23:02

they just go "oh" and they just lose interest

Well that's what I would expect them to do because what else is there to say?

If they press you for a secret then they are showing interest. You can't have it both ways.

But I agree it would be annoying if they don't believe you. Maybe it's time to make up a secret. You can use my raw eggs on toast if you want.

Disclaimer: I know very little about raw eggs.

DarkNavyBlue · 04/02/2015 23:05

No one likes a zealot.

Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 04/02/2015 23:06

Why not say, then, if they ask or say your skin looks great, 'yes, I've made a few lifestyle changes'. If they are interested in them, they will ask further, if not and it's just like saying 'weekend was great' they won't.

I really don't think people are that interested in analysing your improvement to the point of discussing various types of surgery- or at least I would be surprised if you really heard them saying that.

There is a slight smugness which I'm sure is just your enthusiasm, but it is there in your posts and I don't normally find people talking about, say, mindfulness smug.

There must be some people who are genuinely interested, family, close friends, I'd go on to them about the whole thing but remember that when you suddenly change your lifestyle, it does lead others to feel a bit guilty about themselves, this is not your fault, but it perhaps isn't so kind or indeed to go on and on about it. That said, I do talk about fitness/weigh/swimming/having 'bad weeks' with my female colleagues, it's not a taboo topic by any means.

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 23:11

I not a zelot but thanks for making assumptions about me.

They lose interest in the mundaneness of my "secret" but not in trying to pump me for info on what I really did.

Also I would say that what is healthy does vary, my mother for example never eats a fresh vegetable or fruit its all weight watchers ready meals, low fat soup and low calorie snack bars I'm sure her calories are fine but the nutrition of her food is dreadful, bit thats her choice, I'd never force my own way of doing things on other people.

OP posts:
camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 23:14

I don't do mindfulness I do TM. I didn't hear them discussing me having work, they have said to me I must have had something done and another women has told me that its been spoken about. I'm not smug I am pleased and right now annoyed.

OP posts:
TheEnduringMoment · 04/02/2015 23:15

How much detail did you go into? Because it does sound quite a dull answer.
I'd answer "sorry, it was just really hard boring work doing really tedious and obvious diet and exercise stuff for ages. I could tell you the details if you really want to know - but you might fall asleep with the tedium."

GingerCuddleMonster · 04/02/2015 23:15

Because your smug, the way you "explain" your amazing transformation is smug, you think your better than those around you, and think you know everything.

People actually just don't give a shit, that's why they glaze over, and then when you enter smug I'm better than you mode and explain your sea weed and Gohi berry eating habbits they think to themselves "god your a boring smug twat"

Cabrinha · 04/02/2015 23:16

No way to say this without sounding mean, so I'm only saying it as insight really... Your OP made me glaze over Blush!
I thought at the end there'd be a bog link or a link to an acaiiiiiiii berry sales page.

I'm afraid because we've all come across health bores, the subject does tend to make people feel defensive!

I'm healthy and eat and live well, btw, no axe to grind. Well done to you. But my default reaction is to think "hmmmm, you needed to come talk about it here... are you sure you're not talking about it too much?"

ringinginthenewyearO · 04/02/2015 23:24

Fair play to you OP and well done. To be honest why bother what anyone else thinks. You did it for you, not anyone else. So their affirmation really shouldn't be an issue. You are happy with yourself and that's all that matters.
To answer your point , what I think personally is, while we all know what we should be doing right in our lives. we dont' always practice it. It's a combination of things. some of us make excuses, some plod away and moan, some actively do something and some do it over time, slowly, step by step. Everyones method is different. Yes we like quick fixes too. why not. some of us have fast paced, hectic lives and a quick fix to do the job is welcomed. i know people say it isn't the end result but how you got there that makes you. that's lovely and in an ideal world yes, but I'm trying to get fitter this year. i'm proud of myself but it's time consuming and i have other demands and sometimes i do wish i could just snap my fingers for a quick fix.

camillarizzoli · 04/02/2015 23:29

Well as I said I went into detail in my post, a big mistake obviously but I don't do that in real life, in any case I am sorry.

Ginger I am sorry you feel so bad about yourself and your health that you have to be so nasty to someone you have never met. I hope you can make some positive changes in your life, I am sure if you work on improving your health that you might less emotionally reactive. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for your baby. They deserve a stable, healthy mother who can help them to grow up healthy and well adjusted.

OP posts:
DarkNavyBlue · 04/02/2015 23:36

Can't you see - even the way you have responded to Ginger is smug, and that's what she was accusing you of in the first place!

Joysmum · 04/02/2015 23:37

I agree with Ginger.

Once again you go in with the preaching, you just can't help yourself Hmm

WeldedParentMaterials · 04/02/2015 23:39

Wow, aren't you all lovely Hmm

OP, people are just jealous and lazy. Don't let it get to you. Well done on having the tenacity to do it the "proper" way. Most people can't be arsed with the effort and make excuses.

Cabrinha · 04/02/2015 23:41

Goodness.

I think Ginger was unnecessarily rude as it happens... (just how it came across to me Ginger, I'm not trying to start a fight with you Wink)

But your reply about her becoming less emotionally reactive if she was healthier I'm afraid does rather give the impression you have the (irritating) zeal of a convert.

You can post whatever level of detail you like on here. There's probably whole board sections given over to lifestyle chat. I'm not suggesting that you do give that detail to all unasked for - you say you don't. But you posted it hear, you clearly want to talk about it. I think it's when someone loses weight - they very often just want to talk about it loads, because it's a big thing for them. But it is, unfortunately, just not that interesting for anyone else.

MyRightFoot · 04/02/2015 23:43

i have a chronic condition which led to me overhauling my lifestyle. people say i look 10 years younger. i just say 'i made a few changes'. no ones glaze over because i dont go into detail. i am a walking advert for my new lifestyle and if anyone wants to know in depth how i did it, im happy to talk more. no one has asked and im not interested in converting anyone. and sometimes i give myselfa day off the health stuff, i had big mac and chips today - lovely! so yes i do think ur coming across a bit preachy.

Joysmum · 04/02/2015 23:47

I don't want to talk about it or try to convert anyone. That's why I find it bloody irritating when others do.

I found my motivation, but know all too well how critisism and preaching when you've not found your motivation just serves to make things worse.

The OP has forgotten all too soon how fragile we are and how fucking annoying and hurtful self imposed gurus can be.

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