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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm going to the police this morning, bricking it.

55 replies

weedinthepool · 02/02/2015 08:41

I've been named as a witness in a historical sexual abuse case. I've decided to take this opportunity to tell the police that the abuser I saw abusing the child in the above case also abused me as a child. He is a member of my family & whilst I don't have contact with that side of the family any longer my parents are not going to be happy. I can already hear my dad saying 'why are you dragging up the past?'

I saw my abuser just before Christmas with 2 small female children & I just can not deal with the thought that he might be abusing them too. I'm doing the right thing aren't I? I don't even know what to tell the police, I've just got a bunch of disjointed, dark memories and I don't expect them to do anything but I want them to look into the contact he has with those little girls.

I'm going to take the dc's to school and go. I will go through the door. I will

OP posts:

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 02/02/2015 08:44

You will do it, you can.
Will be thinking of you today. You're brave, and you are strong.

PedantMarina · 02/02/2015 08:46

Well done, you. Stay strong. We're holding your hand.

Pensionerpeep · 02/02/2015 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

findingherfeet · 02/02/2015 08:49

You are absolutely doing the right thing. Good luck.

whattodoforthebest2 · 02/02/2015 08:49

You know you're doing the right thing OP. Keep thinking of those girls, and all the others that he could be in contact with, and go and tell them what you need to tell them so that they do something about him.

You're being very brave and you're protecting them from this monster. Stay strong

Velvetbee · 02/02/2015 08:49

What a courageous thing to do.

Vivacia · 02/02/2015 08:49

You are absolutely doing the right thing and I admire your strength.

piggychops · 02/02/2015 08:51

Don't think about what your family think. Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing, and potentially preventing it from happening to others.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/02/2015 08:51

You're doing a wonderful thing and being very courageous. Anyone who accuses you of 'dragging up the past' should be firmly told that it's your story to tell and you'll take a very dim view if they don't support you,

Nolim · 02/02/2015 08:52

Yes you are doing the right thing.

Selks · 02/02/2015 08:53

You are doing the right thing. Stay strong

DorothyBastard · 02/02/2015 08:53

Just want to add my voice to all the others to say how brave you are. You are definitely doing the right thing and protecting those two little girls in a way you should have been protected as a child.

Goneintohibernation · 02/02/2015 08:54

Definitely doing the right thing. You are being very brave!

AlistairSim · 02/02/2015 08:54

You are without doubt doing the right thing and you are very brave.

Will be thinking of you today and hope you feel able to come back and tell us how it went.

mrsnoon · 02/02/2015 08:55

100% support here.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 02/02/2015 08:56

You are doing the right thing. Regardless of whether it leads directly to those children being protected from him, your evidence counts. The fact that someone else has been abused by him and has also come forward will also count. Do it for those children if that gets you through the door, but know that you have every right to do this for yourself.

5YearsTime · 02/02/2015 08:57

Well done you. Of course you should ignore whatever your parents are thinking. You are the adult protecting a child...the adult that didn't protect you. You are absolutely going to make a difference to someone's life here. Let us know how it goes.

LastNightADJSavedMyLife · 02/02/2015 08:58

You're amazing. Good luck

Meerka · 02/02/2015 08:58

Yes you are doing the right thing.

Never doubt it.

your parents' reaction, if they do say 'why are you dragging up the past, is totally inappropriate and is the wrong reaction.

You are doing the brave and incredibly difficult thing. Courage.

toothpasteinthetree · 02/02/2015 09:03

On behalf of those two little girls (who I don't know, but worry for) thank you

fattymcfatfat · 02/02/2015 09:06

You are so brave. ...and if your parents want to know why you are 'dragging up the past' then you can tell them from me thstbits because something needs doing about this piece of filth and its about time someone actually decided to protect the children that he has contact with. Your parents should be supporting you and if they wont then you are better off without. You have already shown what a brave and strong person you are. Good luck x

BastardGoDarkly · 02/02/2015 09:06

Oh love, how horrible for you, is there anyone that can go with you?

You're absolutely doing the right thing and [a hug]

Christmasbargainshopper · 02/02/2015 09:21

Thinking about you this morning. You are absolutely doing the right thing and are being really brave.

Aranan · 02/02/2015 10:28

Stay strong in the knowledge you are absolutely doing the right thing and those little girls might well now be saved from going through what you did.

Original poster

weedinthepool · 02/02/2015 13:06

Thank you all. I've initiated a complaint (which took 4 hours!) but my formal statement has to be done by a specialist team. It all hit home when they sent a sergeant in. I was expecting a uniformed PC so wasn't prepared for the seriousness aspect. They have contacted the child protection team as there are two children resident at his address (the police didn't tell me who they are obviously).

What they did tell me is that there have been two different complaints naming the man and me. I knew about one of them but don't know what the second one is

The sergeant reassured me I'd done the right thing and said abusers don't change. I really hope those two girls have not been abused, I'm only opening up this disgusting can of worms to make sure they are safe.

Thanks again for all your handholding & support

OP posts:

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