Sister is moving very far from me, and now I don't feel like I want to talk to her anymore.

[blueberrypie0112]

She planned to move there without a job too because it is her desired place to live. She have been staying with me for about 7 months (which my husband does not approve but she doesn't know that) and she has a job here that she hates, and she will not find jobs locally at all. I just feel that she doesn't care to be around, so I just don't want to talk to her anymore. It will be years before she'll or I will be able to visit to see each other.

I also don't think she understood what I mean when we were discussing about her friends not being able to see her in Paris when she was lonely. my sister only stayed in Paris for one year, but her friend visited another friend in England in the past so that made her upset. What she didn't take into consideration that her friend was Childless when she went to England. She just had a baby when my sister went to Paris. I told her that her children will is her priority right now, and my sister said and now I am not so that why I should not be friends with her anymore. It blew me away that she didn't understand what I meant.

It also upset me that she fell one time during the middle of the night and no one heard her in the house so she was like "it just goes to show I am better off alone" and "When your son fell, everyone came to check on him" and "I always checked on him, but he didn't with me (he is a teen)". Seriously, no one could hear her, I don't think she fell hard at all nor screamed loud enough. I told her that he is just a loud person, it is hard to NOT to hear him (well, I am deaf with one cochlear implant so when it is off, I can't hear anything anyhow) . She made me feel horrible because no one could hear I just felt she just want more excuse to end our relationships.

is it normal for me to feel this way?

If she doesn't have kids and isn't the maternal type herself, she has probably found it difficult sharing a house with a loud teenager (as you described him.) I have one of those myself and while I love him to the moon and back, I can't imagine trying to live with him if he weren't mine!

Have you talked with your sister? Told her how you will miss her?

not yet, been busy and so have she.

Now I have, she says she text message everyone these days anyhow. so if her message is short and simple, it's because she does it with everyone.

Honestly, OP, you sound hard work, and the atmosphere in your house sounds tense and rather difficult. I don't understand why, if your husband doesn't want her (understandably enough) living in your house for a very long period, and you say yourself her presence and behaviour is causing issues with your son, you can't be happy for her going and making a new life for herself? Is it really such a huge personal rejection that she is moving away?

I grew up as part of a generation that expected to emigrate - at one point me and my three siblings lived in four different countries on three different continents. I live in a different country to all my immediate and extended family now. I've moved around the world a lot, and so have my friends, and yes, of course it's sad when you lose the physical presence of someone you are used to having close by, but it's just the way life works. If you want to still be close to the person, you do it. You don't resent them and guilt-trip them for using their freedom to move wherever they like!

she says she text message everyone these days anyhow. so if her message is short and simple, it's because she does it with everyone

Did you say to her:

'I'm really going to miss you and I hope we can stay in contact. What about skype or a regular phonecall, or would you prefer email/fb etc?'

or did you say:

'You always send me really short emails. Waah.'

Because (to be brutal) it sounds more like you asked the latter to get that sort of response.

I told her that i am afraid we won't talk as much as we had in the past few month. (Told her I will miss her too) and how we won't communicate as much and how her emails/texts can be short. Then I brought up that it is easier for people to use a telephone or Skype and that's when she said she doesn't use any of those things anymore. That no one does these days.

Anyway, Life goes on and I do wish her happiness. And rather she stays in touch is up to her.

"it really such a huge personal rejection that she is moving away?"

At the moment it does feel like that because I do wonder if that is why she chose CA out of all places. But like I wrote, it is stupid and I need to get a grip of myself

Oh btw, I have not put any guilt trip on my sister . I never made threats or anything. I just stayed quiet about the subject. It's her decision.