Ex was arrested today for raping me. Feeling really panicky

[MsPunky]

My stbxh was finally arrested today for raping me twice when we were together.

He denied it and has been bailed until mid march.

I feel so panicky tonight. I'm so fearful of what will happen now. What if the police think I'm lying? I knew he was going to be arrested today but I never expected to feel so shaken.

I've nobody to talk to in rl and can't get through to rape crisis.

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

Stay strong. Well done for reporting it I am so sorry you are going through this

thank you.

First of all well done for reporting and standing up to him. That must in itself have been traumatic, let alone the rapes. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Hopefully someone knowledgeable will be along shortly to give actual advice. Is there anyone in RL who can come and be with you if you need company to feel safe? He would be absolutely mad to come within a mile of you or contact you- but of he does call the police straight away.

Keep trying the helpline OP. do you have a police liaison you can contact?

Was it the police who yold you he had been bailed?
If so, they are aware of who you and your situation. This is good as it means they will come quickly if you need them. If you think he may come round then phone 101 and tell them your concerns and ask if you can be put down for a priority response.

Keep your phone with you and make sure it is charged.

If he phones you, texts you or approaches you report him straight away. He will be in breach of his bail conditions.

Deep breath. Well done. It is he who should be scared not you.

If you cannot reach rape crisis can you speak to WA or the samaritans.

And we are here to hold your hand.
You have done a brave thing

I haven't got a victim support name or anything. I do have an appointment to see a counsellor in a few weeks. I just thought today I'd feel ok but I'm not.

That's helpful to hear they wouldn't have arrested him if they didn't believe me. I worry that nobody will believe it.

We believe you.

Grundy

I believe you

Well done for having the courage to report this.

Well done. No words of wisdom, just admiration for your bravery in reporting the crime. Stay strong and find someone in rl to talk to

I can't begin to tell you how much I admire you.

I didn't report my ex so now, as well as dealing with the rape and trust issues that brings, I have a whole heap of guilt and self loathing for not having reported. I've spent my life trying to make up for not reporting by putting others first and myself last and essentially knowing nothing I do is enough to have let him go on and have numerous other bad relations after me

I sincerely hope that by reporting, you won't have added issues to deal with and that this is best for you in the long run as much as it is about trying to ensure he's punished

I believe you. You are incredibly brave. Stay strong and keep trying Rape Crisis. Have you looked up your local Rape Crisis Centre? They might have a support line you can call, as well as trying the national number.

I believe you, and admire your courage. Yes, see if your local Rape Crisis has a specific support line, if the national number isn't getting you anywhere, but keep calling. You need the absolute maximum of support now. Is there a friend or family member you could talk to?

Thank you so much for being here.

My local rape crisis centre is office hours only.

Sorry for such short replies. I'm reading every message though and appreciate your words very much. Just struggling to be articulate tonight.

I think I'm going to phone the Samaritans.

I hope you get through, I know the feeling of desperately needing to talk but no one picking up the phone.

We believe you.

You've done the right thing. Please don't question why you're doing this to yourself. He did this. He's putting you through this.

Please keep phoning until you reach someone, Samaritans are not just about suicides, I hope you get through.

there was a segment on R4 Womans hour today about whether juries should be briefed on the actual meaning of rape, ie rape within marriage/partnership is a crime....i hope you get the justice you deserve.

Well done. You've done the right thing.

Keep trying rape crisis, although you will also get loads of support here.

Well done. Your strength and courage is amazing. XX

OP, I am so sorry, I really really feel for you. Wish I could give you a real life hug.

If it's any comfort, the police were brilliant with me and I felt believed every step of the way.
Well done (and thank you) for reporting it.

oh and please don't feel you need to reply, I'm sure we all understand :)

I believe you. Don't lose sight of how brave you are.

i believe you. thank you for reporting him.

I believe you and I'm full of admiration for how brave you are.