Ex was arrested today for raping me. Feeling really panicky

[MsPunky]

My stbxh was finally arrested today for raping me twice when we were together.

He denied it and has been bailed until mid march.

I feel so panicky tonight. I'm so fearful of what will happen now. What if the police think I'm lying? I knew he was going to be arrested today but I never expected to feel so shaken.

I've nobody to talk to in rl and can't get through to rape crisis.

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

Glad you talked to someone at The Samaritans and I know you're feeling the full impact of this but you are very brave. If you're on the phone to Victim Support you can stop the conversation at any time if you feel overwhelmed.

You know being believed is almost the most important aspect of all this. Telling people what happened and them saying that yes it was wrong validates all my feelings. Also even if he isn't convicted it is important that I stood up and refused to take his abuse anymore. It's like standing up to a bully. I'm refusing to be his victim. It's fighting back. And I need to fight back.

Hello MsPunky. Please keep trying Rape Crisis. I work as a counsellor there and obviously I'm not sure about your local centre, but we offer counselling, and support calls from the helpline, as well as befriending and ISVA (independent Sexual Violence Advisor) support. So, even if you have to wait a while for a counsellor, there are other services you should be able to access.

That is an incredibly good attitude. Hold onto those thoughts because you're right to fight. You're not a victim, you're a survivor. Your experience is his shame, not yours. You are entitled to speak out.

" Your experience is his shame"

I like that! I'm going to hold onto that thought.

You know being believed is almost the most important aspect of all this. Telling people what happened and them saying that yes it was wrong validates all my feelings. Also even if he isn't convicted it is important that I stood up and refused to take his abuse anymore. It's like standing up to a bully. I'm refusing to be his victim. It's fighting back. And I need to fight back

I totally get all of this. And you can do it.

I was wasn't raped by an ex, it was a stranger. But 5 years on , I am happier than ever. He can kiss my fucking arse!

Anyhoo, you sound amazing

Keep doing what you are doing.

(RASAC helped me enormously)

I got through to my local RASAC. Lovely, lovely lady on the phone. I have an appointment on the 7th feb.

Good

That's really good news

Brilliant news OP. and and for you.

be prepared for a bumpy ride. i reported my ex (he was my ex at the time of the rape). despite my injuries.vaginal caused by hum twisting my clitoris really hard three times, he was found not guulty. i dont regret reporting, he spentsix months on remand. six on tag awaiting trial and that sent him a strong message never to tangle with me again. be prepared for him to tell vile lies abou. you, he will not play fair. i had to stand in court and deny my vaginal injuries were caused by me. this journey is not for the faint hearted and the judicial process favours him, not you. please feel free to ask me anything u like.

Another bloke here appreciating you having the courage, bravery and strength to report this. The shame is all his as said before. Hold your head high that your body is yours to cherish, not his to abuse

As said, maybe give 101 a call and register your concerns.