Am I a terrible person? I feel awful/

[FleurDeCassis]

Very randomly a guy I knew from school messaged me on FB, he dated a friend of mine whilst we were at school (nothing serious) but apart from that we never even spoke.

He messaged me and it got a lot more flirty. He also has a girlfriend and they have a mortgage together etc

If I'm truly honest I liked the attention (I'm single) but I never had any intention of meeting up with him.

Anyway his partner found the messages and he said we have to end this now.

I just replied with - end what exactly? There isn't anything to end

He replied - exactly.

We haven't spoken since and I don't intend to.

I feel like a terrible person.

SM: Hey Spunky! Long time. Yep, gagging for it! When are you free?

Am I suppose to be sexmachine?

I can promise you I never said to the guy that I was gagging for it.

I've actually never said that to anyone in my life.

Also don't believe the OP wouldn't have met him, bet she would've if g/f hadn't caught them out.

Because you know me so well?

No Jan

I would not have met this man. I enjoyed the flirt with him.

I have no intention of meeting up with people purely for sex.

If I could go back then I would have still spoken to him, but no I would not flirt.

And thanks Tink

and everyone else who hasn't made me feel like the scum of the earth.

I don't feel bad that I got caught and it ended.

I feel bad that I played a part of something that hurt someone.

Fleur - no of course you weren't Sexmachine! This is the sort of email conversation that two of my friends have in the office - both happily loved up with other people, but known each other for years, and have always had conversations like this. Which to anyone else might be really but is they way they've always spoken.

Well I'm glad you've explained that to us MrsS. Thought you'd lost the plot!

And my hysterical remark wasn't aimed at you Tinks.

OP, it sounds like you have actually been used in some sort of weird dynamic between this bloke and his partner

I've no idea how you got to that conclusion AF

But I assure you I was not used as a weird dynamic between the couple.

so, you accept then that you were fairly treated ?

ok, your call

so, you accept then that you were fairly treated ?

I'm not sure what you're referring to.

He was very upfront about what he wanted.

There were no lies or false promises. I never wanted a relationship with him or for him to leave his partner.

I wanted the quick ego boost for selfish reasons. I got what I wanted.

He didn't get what he wanted from me.

I didn't give it a second thought, which I realised afterwards was wrong.

OK, I can type a bit more now (was on my phone before)

I am on your side, btw. This strikes me a bit odd, if as you say the messages were purely flirty and nowt else. His partner "finds" your communications and you get a "we have to end this" (end what exactly) dramallama message

Perhaps your interactions were used to wind his partner up. It wouldn't be the first time some controlling nobhead flaunted the fact that other women find them attractive would it ?

I remember a certain "affair" i had.. of course I can, it lasted all told on and off 15 years.

I met him at the age of 22, didnt know he was married. He was bloody gorgeous, funny blah blah blah. He was enigmatic, the lot. Made me feel on top of the world (looking back now Im 52.)

I chose to let him fuck up my 30's. He found me at a very vulnerable stage and told me how beautiful i was, he used to talk to me from sun down till sun up and we laughed etc. very powerful stuff.

I come on these boards to sort of say, hey Ive done that, please dont go and do what I did. Im blunt sometimes due to this. I will however never advise unless I did it myself.

Dont go down that road OP.