Am I boring in bed?

[bowlofbananas]

Actually I know the answer is yes. We always do it in bed. Dh always goes on top as I can easily orgasm in that position, but not so easily when I am on top. We have a kiss and bit of a grope first. Occasionally I give him a blow job as part of foreplay. I enjoy sex and dh says he does too (and seems happy enough). We have sex 2-3 times a week. This has been the same for approx 10 years now since we had the dc. It has been so long since we did anything different I suppose I have lost confidence in changing things.

Sex is a two-person sport.... If it's boring, it's down to both people to do something about it. Is he as dissatisfied as you are? Is it confidence you're lacking or inspiration? Do you spend much time apart as a couple?

We spend a lot of time together and are very close. I think it is a confidence thing although I don't know why as I am a confident person generally and confident in all other parts of our relationship. Dh says he is completely satisfied with our sex life. i just get the impression from magazines etc, that men prefer things a bit more exciting iykwim.

No not at all boring. It sounds like you and your DH have a very good sex life actually.

If he has said he is happy, and you believe him, and you are happy too, you may be overthinking this.

Are you sleeping with men in magazines, or with your DH?
Why don't you believe what he is telling you?
And if you want to try different things, try them! (with his agreement of course.)

"i just get the impression from magazines etc, that men prefer things a bit more exciting iykwim."

Forgetting what men allegedly prefer for a second ... what do you want? Are you happy with twice a week Missionary position or would prefer something a bit more exciting?

Thanks for replies. I am really happy with things but every now and then worry that I should be more exciting for dh.

If you're really happy and he's really happy then I think you have a good thing going. Is there any other aspect of your relationship or life that makes you think you're falling short? Are you generally quite secure and confident?

Talk to your husband -- perhaps he is really happy or perhaps he would like to suggest something different. And if you would like something different as well, then mention it.

To me what you have seems great.

Sex 3 times a week, nothing boring about that, in fact don't ever call yourself boring! As has been said, it takes two to tango, can't all be down to you.

Don't all couples worry at some point about whether they should be swinging from the chandeliers, if you are happy and DH hasn't said otherwise sounds like you two are compatible and satisfied.

Hi OP, it's good that you are happy. I'll let the others carry on with their great advice but this might make you smile in the mean time!

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/sexually-adventurous-couple-only-doing-it-to-look-good-2015011594442

Have you raised the subject with your DH? It's inly you 2 that can answer what you feel about your own private sex lives.

Stop reading free soft porn on iBooks

Sounds un-boring to me.

Don't worry - DH isn't complaining. So is it you that is bored?

That wouldn't work for me, but so what? What men in what magazines are you trying to please?
Sex is a personal thing. If what you are doing works for you and your DH, then that's all that matters. Carry on enjoying it.

I'm not your husband (obviously) but I have to say I would find DTD 1200 times the same way over the 10 years incredibly boring. I like fish and chips but wouldn't want to eat it every meal.

What you're doing sounds cosy and comfortable, and you and your DH are obviously happy with it, but why not see what happens if you make some changes?

A routine can easily become a rut - and the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Have some fun! Ring the changes! Try other positions then finish in missionary. Get him to go down on you. Try a bit of gentle bondage. Give him a slow, teasing handjob. Ask him to give you a massage.Try tantric sex.

There are so many experiences you could enjoy. Why order the same thing from the menu every time?

Personally yes I'd find that boring.
My male friend has just said that sounds ideal for him

So we're all different and different things push our buttons.

Is there any reason for you to doubt your husband?

Thanks for the replies. I suppose I just worry sometimes that i should be more wild in the bedroom mainly influenced by stuff i see on telly/in magazines etc. Sex toys and bondage don't appeal and I'm not really fussed about oral on me although I like doing it to dh. I suppose opportunities to experiment are a bit limited by the dc as eldest is usually still awake at 10 so we can't be too noisy.

I think you're really saying that you would like to inject a bit of variety and lose some of the inhibitions, but that you're restricted by your environment. Do you ever pack the DCs off to granny? Take a weekend break to yourselves? Something we do occasionally is take a 'duvet day' off work... see DS off to school, take the day off and spend it mostly under the duvet. :)

Yes experiment, try different things. If they don't work or you prefer your normal positions then go back again. It's no big deal. Personally I find a woman telling me what to do to her, wanting to do it differently etc extremely erotic - love it!

Have you spoken to your H about this? what does he think?

I would focus on more important issues personally, like rustling up a varied and intersting evening meal selection. Things can easily get stale in this area if it's just spag bol or meat and two veg every night.

How about visiting a good quality independent lingerie shop and buying something you genuinely like, that is pretty and not tacky looking. Something you're happy to wear just for you. And then see if dh likes it too.