The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the New Year in Fine Style

[venusandmars]

Hello, I'm Venus, and standing in for Mouse (who usually starts all our threads)

This is a safe and welcoming place for anyone who is facing up to a problem with alcohol. It may be something you’ve known for years, or it may be that struggling with dry January has made you re-think your relationship with drink.
Anyway, welcome old and new, lurkers and posters. It can be a weird thread at times – travelling on a bus called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all been in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. If you find all the banter off-putting just jump in with a cry for help.

And HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

Our most recent thread, if you want to catch up

Hi clutter!
Good luck, my dear! That is a really great goal! Do come back and let us know how it goes.

Sober, I started running again. I must say that especially today, I felt how that will be my saving grace, if I keep it up.
I want to say something about wine not solving any misery. I felt so utterly lost and frustrated again last night and I woke up this morning with my money problems STILL there.
So drinking didn't solve anything. It was an easy escape which costs me my good feelings of being able to control when I drink. And left me with even more problems. Now I don't only have money problems but I feel ashamed for letting myself and my friends down.

Thank you, sweet, lovely friend. Thank you for the love last night (I did stop at two glasses and went to bed.) and thank you for believing that I can manage a run today. I improved 2 minutes on last week and feel so much calmer, now.

Gosh, afternoon already!

How's that thinking going, Ma?

Clutter that's a big undertaking - good luck with it.

It looks like the last week of Jan is proving the hardest for lots of Babes.

Hi Ruby Sobriety, 45 - WW, 1 - that's a pretty good score. Are you back on the bus today or huddling up in the sidecar?

How on earth can you do that Khalisi? Not only running in the snow but improving your PB too! If you are strong and determined enough to do that, you can keep the Wine Witch away .

Sober, as you'll see, from reading, we all have a 'fuck it' button (there's also a lovely rainbow 're-set'' button on the bus for going back to day 1, or 5 out of six, which ever you prefer) that gets pushed from time to time. Last year I pushed mine at fairly regular intervals, and never really got going enough to appreciate being AF properly. For me, planning and being aware of where that voice is coming from and asking it questions helps.
So, if old saggy tits the wine witch says to me "You've had a rubbish day, go one, one won't hurt and you deserve it." I ask "How will it help?". Now the answer might be "It will make you feel better" BUT that's not really the answer the answer is really "Well, it won't make your boss nicer or get you children to sleep" in fact it will make all of those things worse or more difficult.

I am doing it this time, because I have been honest with, and have the support of, DH. I have made sure that there is always something else to fill the hole - posh cordials, super expensive teas, this bus. And I am examining the desire for a drink consciously, every time, rather than going with unthinking habit.

Round in circles sweet as always.
Can't even be bothered to get dressed today, let alone go out so well done to those of you getting out there and doing stuff.

It is a big undertaking but I'm so sick of the cycle I trap myself in with booze. Also my Granda was an alcoholic and I'm watching my mum deteriorate before my eyes and I hate booze and what it does.
I'm determined not to become dependent and the thought that I have that addictive gene terrifies me.
I'm so in awe of those that completely abstain.

If anyone can be bothered and sure it's pretty dull but my blog is
1mum3kids0booze.wordpress.com

It feels really motivating knowing people are reading my blog.

Sorry on my iPad and can't remember how to make that a link?

Here you go Clutter, easy access for all the Babes.

Clutter's Blog

We all need 'duvet days' Ma. Share your thoughts if it helps, if not I might have to go and find some more bad jokes.

Perfect SweetLathyrus.
Thank you

Thanks sweet
Dh and I both work. I get a reasonable salary, his is rubbish. We both got paid at the end of last week and working out the budget, I am gutted how little is left to last the whole month. No extra for trips out, cinema etc. I go on the credit crunch threads, shop in Aldi yadayad but what is the fucking point? It highlights how stuck I am. Couldn't afford to move it and rent a flat. Have no money for estate agents etc to sell this one. Have no savings.
We can pay our bills and have no major debt other than the mortgage, but it is the daily grind of hand to mouth existence that is wearing me down. And when there is no love or affection to lighten the load.....what IS the point?

It's not just our anxious, racing thoughts that alcohol dulls and anaesthetises.

I epilated my legs for the first time since Christmas, and probably the first time sober in forever.

Excuse the language, Babes, but FUCK ME it HURT

I've been using an epilator for 15 odd years, and I do not remember the pain being that bad. I'm starting to whimper even thinking about doing my underarms.

That is seriously tough, Ma. I don't have anything helpful to say, it just seems so unfair that someone successful, and valued in their work should be in that position. Is a pay rise or job change out of the question (I know your position is a bit precarious/ dependent on funding, grants etc)?

Omg get you Khalisi! Nice one! I love running too. It's something about it being an hour just for me where it's a positive advantage to spend the time running through all the crap that usually goes through my head - rather than in bed at night, going up the wall because it stops me sleeping - which is another thing that makes wine seem like a good plan. I can finish having run for miles without really noticing, and then enjoy the sense of righteous exhaustion that results.

Thanks Sweet. My goal is to be AF for...the foreseeable future. Not least because I have so much to prove to DH. I don't want to see him crying in the kitchen again. But realistically, I need to prepare for the possibility that I might slip (but without giving myself advance permission to do so IYSWIM) and be doubly ready to be kind to myself about it and not view it as an excuse to dive into a whole lake of booze because that's it, I've failed so I may as well.

Have bookmarked Clutter's blog

Ma but it sounds as if you're dealing with things so well. You're aware of your income and you're budgeting so you that you live within your means. You're not denying the truth and going on massive credit-funded shopping sprees. Give yourself credit for that!

There are others, more experienced than me,Sober, hopefully they will be along with their advice soon.

Soc, Venus, Mafisa, Mouse. New babe in need of wisdom, calling all Babes!

Meanwhile, gooey cookies are in the oven . . . Ingredients are a bit , but even raw they are

Cookies are BRILLIANT!

Had a meltdown. Went to bed fully clothed (well still in PJs but with a jumper and fleece too) and cried. Dh was watching football on TV as usual. Eventually the bedroom door opened, he peered in, muttered "bizarre" and went away again.
I slept a bit, got up, ironed uniform for DS and have served dinner. Nothing said. He is......watching football!

I think there is a really important message for you there, Ma. I am so, sorry. Is there anywhere or anyone you could go to for a couple of days of peace and tlc?

Sorry, forgot the {{{{{hugs}}}}} I'm not great with hugs.

Hi all. Have felt knackered today, thirsty and hungry but nothing satisfies the pangs - all caused by god damn WW last night! Def not worth it and not recommended.

Sober you're doing well, keep it up. Don't think you should be thinking about falling off the bus. ODAAT - One day at a time is the best advice I've had from more experienced babes on here.

Today I will not be drinking

Ma sounds like times are tough with an insensitive DH.

Sweet are you referring to all the cookies in the world?

Dd wants me to watch tv with her so will be off in a min

Well, of course All cookies are brilliant, Ruby, but the ones DS made this afternoon are more than a bit good (I may have gained that 1lb back by tomorrow).

Ha Sweet they sound yum.

Clutter just read your blog and it's a thumbs up. Good on you. Keep it up and I will keep reading.

I can't go away. I need to work to hang on to my shaky job. We already have a member of staff not pulling her weight due to stress and depression ". I don't have the luxury to indulge myself. Or the money to go away. And I need to be here for DS, my father who has dementia and my elderly mother.
I'm so sorry for hijacking the thread today. I know only me can Make the changes I need to.
venus will pm you to meet up

You're not hijacking, Ma, you need a place to get it all out, where no one is relying on you x

There with you, ma.
It is useless to even sit and to do budget because in the end, there is nothing left anyway, I sometimes feel.
Was so proud of almost seeing a light but I now I need 600 fucking euros more and that floored me!

sweet, just made red velvet cupcakes for work tomorrow. OMG are they good!!