Dh visiting hook-up sites.

[cakewitch]

Dh left his phone at home today. It rang, and I missed the call, so I opened it up and found he's been visiting those sites where you can hook up for no strings sex. Scrolling through the history, and it would appear that this isn't just a one off. Am absolutely stunned. Wondering what to do next. Obviously I'm going to tear a strip off him when he gets home, but what do I do then? He's going to try and wriggle out of it, I know. He has a history of lying about stuff, but never given me cause to think he would be unfaithful. Advice needed urgently.

AF I hope you are feeling suitably chastened and having a good think about how to be a better wife and be less emblazoned

Op are you ok?

Just to let you know I found hook up/sex meet up sites on my ex's computer. He said they were pop ups. A few months later I found emails back and forth between him and an 18 year old girl where he was trying to arrange a meet and she was blatently enjoying leading him on. I confronted him - he made out he was having some kind of mental fart and he'd never do it again. A year later I found casual sex sites in his history. I dug deeper (to avoid the pop up excuse) and saw that he was actively registered on a casual sex meet up site and was searching for women and sending out messages.

Being the stupid twat that I am, I forgave him. A few months later I found that he'd downloaded hook up apps on his phone.

I'm more angry at myself - 3 years I put up with warning after warning. Don't be me.

I have had a good think, BOOP, and I have concluded that not only have I let myself down I have also let my husband, family and most importantly Mumsnet, down

He has a history of lying about stuff

This isn't good either and I'm afraid a clear indicator that he is still lying to you.

I'm not angry mum AF. I'm disappointed mum

Ha! AF you might drive me round the twist sometimes but don't change a scrap eh?

OP, I'll ask again, are you OK?

AF hit the nail on the head in her first post.
Don't put up with this shit. Get yourself tested for STI's etc immediately. Throw him out/leave, don't allow someone to treat you this way.

AF you are just unforgettable. Your DH must be so thick skinned or blissfully ignorant.

OP I have looked at various sites online and have had popups about Hookups (all asuming that I am a man,hot girls in your area etc etc).

I would suggest that before either kicking him out or forgiving him could you ask him to show you the sites that he looks at and you can see for yourself what comes up.

If he is registered it will come up as a returning member (excuse the pun) and you will see what happens from there.

Seasons has a good idea there.

I also use YouPorn and PornHub and do get these types of popups.

However I think OPs intuition is telling her there is more to the story. And if that's the case, I would go with gut feeling, not what you WANT to believe.

If you want to leave a relationship because you feel he's not honest and/or monogamous, you don't have to wait for some "proof" or for him to confess. Just leave. It's not a court of law - you don't have to be "sure beyond reasonable doubt".

OTOH if you feel you get enough out of the relationship to turn a blind eye to him playing away, then carry on, but insist he wears condoms with you in all future bedroom sexytimes.

Ive been registered on 3 dating sites and one casual sex site. Ive never had a pop up.

Ive been registered on 3 dating sites and one casual sex site. Ive never had a pop up.

Yeah obviously. That's a bit like saying "I've shopped in Tescos loads of times but I've never seen a single Asda poster in there." Or "You know I listen to Classic FM all the time in the car, but I've never heard them suggest I tune into Radio 3."

Websites don't generally allow their direct competitors to advertise with them, is what I'm gently hinting at

What type of operating system does your husband have on his phone OP? If it's an Android device, they are prone to pop-ups for software versions pre-5.0.1
Apple's Safari browser is also prone to pop-ups and ios 8 is getting a fair bit of critiscism on developer sites.
A BlackBerry usually blocks pop-ups as does a Windows phone.

I am knitting you a hair shirt right now Anyf^$%£@

Would you like extra fringing so you can flagellate your sarcastic self while you walk?

You get a lot of hook up site pop ups from the porn sites. If it is in his history it could well be pop ups.

Did you really wait several weeks for someone to bump this thread so you could have a go at me, Raymond ?

that's kinda sad

Err I didn't look at the date when I posted and actually I wasn't having a go, I was being affectionately funny although obviously failed there. Sorry.

Did I get hold of the wrong end of the stick, Raymond ? Oh heck. Sorry right back atcha

It's ok I genuinely have a lot of time for you and your viewpoint.

Might take a bit of a break from MN for a while, I seem to be getting it wrong a lot at the mo and am currently not up to it.

x

aww no, don't let my fuckerness be the last straw. FWIW, I was surprised by your post but only because I didn't normally associate you with having a go. I should have clarified before sniping. Please stay