DH works every other Saturday from 9-12. He's been doing this for years and is always home by 1pm for brunch. Lately...the past 3-4 months, he's been staying on a Saturday until about 4-5pm (they shut at 12). He is alone apart from his secretary. He has a newish secretary who, by all accounts is sassy, competent, smart, young. DH hardly talks about her but when he does, he paints a colourful, exciting picture. He's described her as a real character, fun, charismatic. Recently they had their work do. They always bring spouses. This is the first time ever I have not gone because all of our kids had stomach flu and I was just exhausted so I stayed home. Normally we go together, have a great time and are home by 11. This year, he rolled in at 1am. He seemed to have the best time ever! I asked him about the chats he had with everyone, how they were all doing, etc. I used to work there for several years so I know the majority of staff not only as DH's spouse but as their former colleague. When I mentioned the newish secretary he said he didn't speak to her all night and that she went off clubbing. Though later he added that the staff love her and his manager in particular thinks so highly of this secretary, she'll go places. I've been around this earth a while and tend not to feel insecure, but suddenly I do. Especially since this Saturday when he was at work again until 5 'doing a massive clear out'. He stays until 5 most Saturdays now even though he shuts at 12.
I was suprised to hear that the newish secretary was with him until about 4pm. He wanted our son to go in and help him clear out the office once he was finished with work at 12. We agreed DS would go up to the office but hadn't agreed on a time and because work is a bit of a journey and DS would be travelling on his own (he is 13). DH would meet him at a certain time and place and they'd walk back to the office. That was the idea. Well, DH turned off his phone and PC at 12:30. He answered none of my calls or emails to arrange things. I then left to take our younger child to a party. DS sat at home, waiting to hear from dad (and playing xBox... I doubt he was too upset). DH rang at 4:30 saying he had been so busy with his clear out, he just switched his phone and PC off and hadn't gotten my emails or messages trying to arrange a time and meeting point. He said his secretary was there keeping a weather eye open to see if DS would arrive. They were expecting him, he had said. But we hadn't arranged a time. And DS doesn't quite know the way to his office on his own. He knows this. However, I didn't question DH. I rang the office number which had a recording saying the office was open but no one picked up.
We rarely call/text each other at the best of times and whenever I do, his phone is always off. On Mondays he finishes at 4pm but is home about 10pm lately. I haven't suspected a thing. He's a busy man trying to keep a small office running. But historically, he's never stayed on so late and doesn't seem to complain about an increase in workload. Another thing, staff doesn't get over time, so I was puzzled as to why the secretary stayed beyond 12 on a Saturday.
Here's the thing. We. Don't. Have. Sex. We just don't. We blame it on the kids. We blame it on ourselves. We have a laugh and get on well in a buddy sort of way. But our intimacy has tanked in the last 18 months.
This could just be paranoia talking. I hope so. But I wonder if I should get a tail on him. God I do sound weird now. But I feel that niggling feeling. WWYD? Thanks for reading.