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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Narc mother fed pineapple to my baby today

63 replies

123upthere · 29/12/2014 22:16

Just that really - history of DM being abusive in my childhood to my siblings, so I'm very very wary of her near my kids. Visiting this week at their house and today she has somehow managed to feed pineapple to my 10mth old, as baby had 3 dirty nappies in one hour containing undigested chunks of pineapple when we changed her at my in-laws get together later today in afternoon. I haven't mentioned it to DM as have gone to bed as I'm exhausted but should I mention it before we leave tomorrow or just leave it? I know DM wants an argument - it's in the air, she's very passive aggressive about everything so I've come to bed to avoid her. Don't want a confrontation but yet I'm so sad and angry that poor baby had upset tummy today because of her. (knew she had fed her as most of pineapple was gone from its dish in fridge when I checked when we got home plus she was supposedly feeding her 'toast' while I took a quick shower this morning

OP posts:

NewName2015 · 29/12/2014 22:17

What's wrong with pineapple?

SnotandBothered · 29/12/2014 22:18

The Narc element aside (not in a dismissive way - just aside) what's so bad about a few chunks of Pineapple? Genuinely don't understand.

gymboywalton · 29/12/2014 22:18

a ten month old can have pineapple can't they?

Original poster

123upthere · 29/12/2014 22:18

It has a very acid content, even as an adult it can give stomach upset if too much consumed just harsh on babys tummy

OP posts:

eurochick · 29/12/2014 22:19

I don't understand the problem either. Op, can you explain!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 29/12/2014 22:19

What's wrong with pineapple?

HowsTheSerenity · 29/12/2014 22:19

It's pineapple not arsenic. I gave my brother a lemon at 6 months.
That was funny.

Violetta999 · 29/12/2014 22:19

Pineapple is quite a normal thing to give an older baby I think. It's a shame it upset her tummy. Mine was done with pineapple but reacted to tomatoes oddly

Original poster

123upthere · 29/12/2014 22:20

It's just that Dm knows ways to upset things - by making baby tummy upset by feeding her a food which she wasn't old enough to yet digest it is yet another way to upset the happy family day out we had at inlaws

OP posts:

softlysoftly · 29/12/2014 22:21

Abuse by pineapple

PenelopePitstops · 29/12/2014 22:21

She probably didn't do it deliberately.

Original poster

123upthere · 29/12/2014 22:22

So an acidic pineapple which I wouldn't have fed baby has been fed to baby consequently baby screamed all afternoon and had worst nappies to date just a bit that's all

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 29/12/2014 22:22

Pineapple can be a bit like sweetcorn - a bit indigestible so not an upset tummy as such

Your relationship with your mum sounds very difficult and that's the issue - she gave your child fruit which is normally a good thing?

NoLongerTheSeasonToBeJolly · 29/12/2014 22:23

There's nothing wrong with pineapple.

SnotandBothered · 29/12/2014 22:23

I'm sorry 123 but you are over-reacting. Having said that if your mum is a Narc, I can understand that every move she makes feels like a way of controlling/attacking you etc. But on this occasion, I think you have to chill a bit.

Step outside of your normal relationship for one second and look at the facts: Your mum gave your baby some fruit. That's it really.

FluffyRedSocks · 29/12/2014 22:24

Honestly, take a deep breath, this looks like the straw that broke the camels back.

I fed my dd pineapple from 6mo, she loves the bloody stuff and it makes no difference to her nappies, I honestly don't see the problem.

However, your dm lied and said she had been giving your dd toast and there is an issue there.. If she causes you this much anxiety why don't you try and reduce contact? I've had to with my father who would do the same sort of thing, but moreso along the lines of 'bite into this chilli' I know it's hard.. But this is a non issue..

Quangle · 29/12/2014 22:24

either she knew the baby would have an upset tummy and would cause her pain - in which case she's got some sort of munchausens - or she thought it was just a bit of fruit for her granddaughter. The latter seems the most plausible explanation although there's obviously a history here. If there is a nasty history here then I'm sorry, OP. But this is not in itself anything bad.

FriedFishAndBread · 29/12/2014 22:24

Don't send your children to nursery op, pineapple is on the menu for pudding at least once a week on a well known nursery name. That's Inc babies not ones that need blended food but as soon as they can eat unblended so about 10 months ish.

ohdearitshappeningtome · 29/12/2014 22:25

Pineapple is a red herring!

Ds has pineapple and pear purée!

My bad

Ds is 8monthsnold btw

Mrsjayy · 29/12/2014 22:25

If you think your mother gave your child something to upset her stomach on purpose then you need to stay away fro your mother, I don't think there is much wrong on giving a baby pineapple she is nearly a year old but you don't want her having any and you need to tell your mother that, but do you honest ly think she wanted to harm your baby to get at you. If this is the case you have more issues than a few dirty nappies going on.

Original poster

123upthere · 29/12/2014 22:26

Ok thanks all. Leaving it now do to need any further replies I'm clearly exhausted and over reacting

OP posts:

brererabbit · 29/12/2014 22:28

She may be a narc and you may have other issues but you are overreacting here.
I have a narc mil who fed my baby foods he was proven to be severley allergic to and that was bad.
Pineapple. I mean pick your battles, it's hardly worth a post. It's a really normal thing to feed a 10 month old baby. I mean unless you're about to drip feed that he has a pineapple allergy I don't see what the problem is. Pineapple is perfectly fine for a ten month old. I remember how much my Ds loved them last summer and he's only one. You really need to pick your battles here and be grateful she's feeding him a healthy diet. She could have given him crisps or chocolate after all!

farendofafart · 29/12/2014 22:28

I'm sorry your baby didn't take well to the pineapple.

My babies both ate pineapple quite happily at that age. I highly doubt your DM fed the baby the pineapple thinking it would make her ill.

You do seem to have a difficult relationship and trust issues. Perhaps you need to keep a little more distance between you and your DM? I wonder if staying with her for lengthy visits isn't a very good idea under the circumstances.

unclerory · 29/12/2014 22:34

Pineapples aren't that acidic, they have approximately the same acidity as a strawberries. I think it's a bit of an old wives tail that some fruits are bad for your tummy. Sorry you LO pooed a lot but kids often have bits of undigested food in their poo, look at any BLW discussion and you'll see an obsession with nappy contents. DD1 once had an entire satsuma segment in her nappy that looked completely fresh . And as for banana!

Don't raise it with our mother, she'll (rightly) think you're being very PFB. Save the arguments for the serious stuff.

Meerka · 29/12/2014 22:40

I think you need to look at the pattern of events. The pineapple sounds like a small thing really. But if you are convinced there is a deeper problem, then suggest you start taking notes over time and watch what's happening.

One incident is just one incident and can easily be a mistake. But if there is a pattern - and toxic people can be very subtle - then you need to take action.

putting one incident that could well be an accident without corroberative incidents isn't going to give people reading this thread a sense of the bigger picture.

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