So, end of last week he came back, was ok, we talked and had first proper conversation where we both accepted it was over, discussed how to pay for a rental, looked at some rentals online, as in me showed me some he had seen, I felt for the first time I was able to convey how all the abuse had made me feel, not that he accepts it's abuse really I suspect, but he does accept the relationship is pretty toxic.
I've felt a million times better than I have for so long now that I know,this over, and this has lightened the mood in the house. He seems happier and I asked him if it was because we had split and he wouldn't admit it. I think he is torn as obviously he won't be living with dd. he says he wants her to remain in the house. I said I would be willing to sell up eventually but yes short term that would be better .
Since then we ,ve had a busy and lovely weekend doing things with dd. last night I did reiterate again to him what had to happen. I haven't mentioned it today.
I am wondering whether I should keep on at him about finding a rental , as I feel I need to, or give him some time? I ve got a solicitors meeting to kick start divorce In a fortnight and he has asked me not to divorce, he will go. Should I tell him I'll only cancel it if I see concrete evidence that he is looking or AIBU? It's a lot to leave a home and it's a pretty big step that he's accepted the marriage is over, he's never agreed to that before.
Downside is he hasn't told his family, his excuse is that they are elderly and not that well, but I see not telling them as a bad omen.
It's very nice not to be constantly planning and trying to find ways to leave, I m really hoping not to go back to that. But I m impatient to be properly separated and start my new life!