What should I do about this?

[Ohbollocksandballs]

After last disastrous relationship I posted here asking for advice, and advice I got! So now I'm back again.

Partner works away, he was back home Christmas Eve-the afternoon of the 27th. His family are scattered around and he does not speak to the majority of them, apart from his sisters.

Anyway we had planned that he would spend quite a bit of time here with me, as it was my first Christmas as a SP, and DS was at his dad's. However Christmas Day night, he went out in the afternoon and got bladdered, didn't hear from him till midday boxing day, when he was full of apologies etc. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, then he did the same thing Boxing Day too, to an even worse extent, causing trouble with his ex, various people in the pub (this is what he's admitted to). Naturally I was pretty pissed off, especially when the morning after he was adamant he'd done nothing wrong. Told him that I wasn't prepared to put up with his shit.

He went back working away yesterday, I didn't see him before he went, aside from Christmas Eve day, and Boxing Day during the day. However he called last night saying how sorry he is, how stupid he's been to upset me, how I am good for him, how guilty and down he feels about it, and that isn't how he usually is etc.

Part of me wants to believe it, but twice in a row? Really? Good people of MN, what do I do?

You've done the right thing. You would've always come a poor second to the booze and the pub. He demonstrated his priorities clearly at Christmas, so well done for dodging that bullet. xxx

What way, viv ?

I mean the formatting, every sentence on a new line, with double line spacing. I've started to recognise Dowser's posts because I start reading each reply as though it were a poem.

I know ive dodged a bullet, but it doesn't make it any less shit. Feeling very fed up today.

Why don't you resolve to save yourself for someone worth your affection next time around?
If your relationships are consistently disastrous, I think it's time to be a lot more choosy about who you get involved with...and to learn to be content on your own until that person shows up. x

You seriously have OP and it doesn't mean you can't take a few days to lick your wounds and feel sorry for yourself.

(Apologies Dowser, I got my Ds mixed up and should have addressed my previous post to Deserttrek).

I know, I just can't help but think that maybe it was a one off, although deep down I know it's not. Would have been so much easier if he wasn't so fucking nice.

It was a one-off too many OP, as you know.

How he behaved really wasn't very nice at all. He let you down.

Very true Viv. Currently trying to force nearly 1yo DS to cuddle. He's having none of it, keeps poking me in the eye

I think it's entirely understandable to mourn the end of a relationship, especially at this time of year. What you need to keep remembering though is that you're mourning what could have been rather than what you actually got.

Just remind yourself had you 'forgiven' him it would just show him exactly what behaviour you will tolerate.

He might actually learn something from this;

a) you deserve better

b) all future partners deserve better.

If he does learn from it he will try and put it right.

So I can read the bloody thing that's why ;-)

No Viv, I think it's me you meant. I struggle to read lines and lines of txt, so

I write mine like I like to read them.

Maybe not all the time though. Just on bad fuzzy eye days.

OP - glad you have your baby back home. Enjoy him....real love.

Dont overthink the rowdy pisshead fool you have saved you and your ds from....

You did the right thing....but you need to be ready to stand firm....I am worried that he will keep trying to get back in.

Can you pre-empt and head off any likely approaches. Can you block his number, avoid areas you might bump into him when he is back in town, etc.

He has been trying to get back in, saying hes devastated, still wants to be friends etc.

Bloody difficult because obviously i want to be at least friends, but because hes such a massive fucknugget hes made that impossible.

I'm feeling pretty pissed off about it today!

You can't be friends with him, because that's not the footing that your relationship was built on. Honestly, just cut contact.

It is a desperate ploy to get back in your knickers stand firm you did a great thing this is the new "worthy" and "strong" you keep at it, keep it up.

Agree his behaviour doesnt reach minimum standards for friendship - seems that many others have come to this conclusion already.

Just ignore the twunt

No, you can't be friends. Not that he is incapable of having friends, just that it is a terrible idea to "stay friends" with an ex you've just split up with. As I am sure you know. Tempting, but... just no.

What sort of friendship could someone like that possibly offer you tho?

Don't feel pissed off, please! Feel aaaaaa-mazingly smug [wishing for a smug emoticon] at kicking him into touch.

Onwards and upwards - maybe savour the feeling of blocking his mobile number from your phone as your parting 'gift'.

Not sure which is making me smile the most

fucknugget or
arsewipe

Maybe send him a personalised NY card from moonpig.com:

"You say Unicorn, I say knobhead"

He wasn't defeated, he was rumbled. They hate that.

Well done to you for taking action and not putting up with vile behaviour.
This loser sounds like an apprentice cocklodger
Hope you meet someone decent soon.