If your H sent this message, what conclusion would you draw?

[ForTheLoveOfSocks]

Hello, sorry I had to leave you today. My only chance and ice blown it lol. Hope I get another one, one day.

Is anyone married to the sort of guy who, knowing a woman at work fancies him, would pretend to pursue her, as a joke?

How peculiar....

I know, ginger

Yes, AF. I suppose my grin/wink is for when the realization comes together for an understanding that the lies are about them, not us; and that may make detachment a realistic possibility for some.

For the OP, the lie is (definitely) about the man covering his behind as opposed to offering soothing reassurance to socks, imho.

Having just read the message in isolation I could well have sent something similar to my work mentor or my business partner completely innocently, as in "only had a quick few minutes to talk to you before I got called into that meeting, would have really liked longer to discuss that time critical thing with you".

Having read his excuse I'm afraid I call bullshit - sorry OP.

I thought I would come back to update the thread.

After your messages I buried my head in the sand. I knew what you were all saying was true, but I didn't have the courage to admit it.

The releationship started to deteriorate as a result. He was no longer affectionate and did not want to be intimate with me

So I ended things last week. And what it has done is open my eyes to how emotionally abusive and controlling he actually was. He has shown his true colours.

It's been one hell of a roller coaster week. He begged and pleaded, turned nasty and keeps apologising and has started to use the DD's as a weapon when he couldn't control me any longer. He also keeps saying one thing and doing the complete opposite. I need to keep one step ahead of him. Does anyone have a link to the script please? I think I need to get reading tonight.

If anyone has any advice on how to get rid of an abusive arsehole I'd really appreciate it

Oh Socks sorry to hear that things went sour. Did you ever get proof he was cheating?

Get yourself the book by Lundy Bancroft, Why does he do that (or something like that) it is very insightful & gives techniques for getting out & understanding why they do these things.

Hope things get better

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1634754-Men-affairs-what-is-the-script

Sounds like a flirty text to somebody he met. And then didn't stay too long with but hopes to meet up again for another chance. I wrote this before I saw your update. Sorry it has ended like this. Just say firmly the relationship is over because of your behaviour. And it's no longer up for discussion. And put the flat of your hand up to him and turn and walk away. Don't get involved in convoluted discussions when he can wheedle his way into you thinking am I the one who is at fault.