Horrible relative has invited herself and her husband to Xmas lunch - argh!

[intothenevernever]

Narcissistic, unpleasant aunt has invited herself to lunch. There will already be 15 of us in a small house. Do we just have to grin and bear it? Oh god, we do, don't we.:( Bloody families!!!!!

No is one of the shortest, yet one of the most useful words in the English language. You just need to learn to use it.

You don't need to apologise.
You don't need to explain.
You don't need to to worry about what anyone else will think.
You just need to say "No".

Crikey. Time to pull on your big girl pants and do as wisely suggested many times above. I cannot begin to imagine why you would so willingly allow someone to spoil your mum's Christmas. Why would you facilitate that?

So OP, everyone here wants to know what you said in your 'Sorry, can't/won't' email'....

I really don't understand why anyone would just accept this.

So what, exactly, can Overseas Relatives do about anything?

Why spoil everyone's Christmas? Grow a backbone and say No.

This reads - esp. in absence of further clarification - as if there is at least a possibility that the e-mail wasn't ness inviting self/s to lunch but clarifying which of the 2 visits they were making first, either having been an option and the mail was just confirming which?

Curious as to what the actual text of the mail was and the background to it and the above, as the OP's lack of reponse and apparent willingness to lob her DM under the bus suggest there is poss. a wee bit more substance to this than very black & white narc scenario of sudden self-invited odious relee...

Munning I think you may be right...

Er, thanks to those of you who were supportive. I come from a different cultural background to most of you and I guess it is much more of a thing that you would NEVER turn away a relative on Christmas day. So your replies have been quite illuminating!

I have emailed odious aunt and said she can come round Xmas Eve instead.

To the poster who suggested there is more to this than I am letting on, nope, that's pretty much it. My life is not yet so sad that I invent odious aunts for fun! And my lack of response was because I have a life and was out of the house. Hope this clarifies.

Good to hear OP! And do remember to have selective hearing for the doorbell on the big day in case she chances her arm and turns up anyway! Seriously, I would put good money on the fact she'll have the brass neck to try...

Oh and hope you, your family and DM have a lovely Christmas

she will go bleating to our overseas relations that we refused to have her, and they will have a go at us for being so mean

So what! If they like her so much let her go there!

Well done op. Let us know what she replies with!

Well done OP! Enjoy your Christmas

They will probably try and get an invite for the next day too so be ready with your answers!

Well done op, enjoy a great Christmas.

Yay! Well done OP. Phew!

Btw - I would probably never turn a relative away on Christmas Day either - but I would probably pretend to be out! Total coward here.