This is pretty needy is'nt it? Is it a red flag?

[yellowdettol]

I've been dating a guy for a few months. The other day we were in his kitchen when someone mentioned the Brownies/Girl Guides on the radio and I said "Oh I loved being in the Brownies! It was one of the happiest times of my life".

My boyfriend then said, "What do you mean? Happier than now we are together?" and he seemed quite cross about it. I was abit by this outburst and asked if he was being serious. He was. I felt really uncomfortable and thought what a dickish thing to say.

What do others think?

when someone surprises you with their anger PAY ATTENTION!

Get shot of him, he's a pissy little attention seeker already ?

Doesn't bode well

You have been warned....don't ignore it

I was just thinking the same about the posts from brokenhearted, why so nasty? Have started noticing it on other posts you have responded to as well. As to the op, yes I think it's a red flag, it was a time you were happy in your childhood so don't understand his reaction.

This guy has more red flags than The Kremlin on 1980. Bin now.

I think brokenhearted is having a really rough time right now.

Time to put that agility badge to good use OP. Run and vault over him. If he's this controlling/ needy now he's only going to get worse.

Haha lego!

OP I try to give the people the benefit of the doubt but having gone out with my fair share of man-child twats, nice emotionally healthy nature men do not 1) make the brownies comment 2) get huffy if you miss their call 3) wake you up

Is the last one verging on abusive or am I getting a little dramatic and carried away here? (I am known to be..sorry!)

*nature?!! Meant mature!

Heh it was more the phone calls that I thought was a problem. What, you aren't allowed to be in the bath or on the toilet or in a meeting or asleep without him getting grumpy?!

Heed the bunting and bin. He sounds like an utterly self centred arse.
And why the hell have people got a problem with Brownies? It's fab!

Slimjim what you describe is called Echolalia and is normal. I am working with a bunch of Ozzies and am really struggling not to echo and sound like Dame Edna Everage

OP. Bin this one. Red flags the size of Europe!

My guess is he'll find it hard to "compete" with your friends and family, as you'll have a shared past that he can't be a part of.

He sounds needy, insecure and hard work. At this stage it should just be fun and uncomplicated.

Put your trainers on and run.

Heartbroken having a shitty time of it does not give her the right to give a shitty time of it to someone else.

OP, dump and run.

Wasn't AF being sarcastic when they said brokenhearted was going through a rough time? That's how I read it! (Though I may have missed other threads..), usually if you're going through a rough time it gives you more empathy no?

So OP..what are you thinking?

I can't see any evidence for a 'shitty' enoUgh time to warrant the seagull like shitting all over people and fucking off tbh. and even then, no excuse to be nasty to someone else who's had the balls to start their own thread looking for advice.

smacks of self esteem iSsues and bitterness. time to step away from the keyboard imho.

op has her self esteem in residence and is right to question this stuff.

I'm thinking Mummy that I am going to give him one more chance and if he does something abit 'funny' like this again then he's out. I really don't like the whole waking me up thing, and was miffed by the phone call and brownie incident. I won't be putting up with that if it happens again!

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

don't give this prick another chance!

to do what? to tell you MORE about what a controlling and arrogant prick he is?

he's showing you who he is. loud and clear.

he doesn't want you to have a life that keeps him waiting, ergo, nothing in your life - even sleeping or having a poo should happen unless it suits him.

bin him.

Op, you are being foolish

You have 3 clearcut reasons to dump this pillock already. How many more are are going to tolerate ? You won't know your arse from your elbow soon. No man is worth this shit,, seriously.

I wasn't being sarky about broken hearted, btw

Why would you bother giving him another chance to be a dickish little twat to you again? He's already done it three times that we know of.

As someone who disliked brownies with a passion I just saw brokenhearted's post as a bit sarcastic, maybe missing the point, but I don't see that she meant any harm.

OP, I'd be very worried about someone who gets upset when you reminisce about your childhood. What if you mention being happy in adulthood (ie birth of your children) will he get jealous about you being with another partner at that point? Sounds tiresome at the very least.

Also the getting upset if you don't answer his calls right away - I've no time for that myself, you can't be on call 24/7 to anyone, let alone someone you've only been with a few months.

Waking somebody up purposefully is an instrument of torture it is well known some varieties of abuser have co-opted to use in their own arsenal of damaging ways to treat someone.

If you weren't being sarky AF, then I agree with pp - simply no excuse to be mean.

Ok dettol it is (of course) your call. And if the good outweighs the niggles then go with it.

However. May I suggest a (possibly unethical) test for him? Upthread there was a very good suggestion from a pp re: you saying to him the brownies comment hurt your feelings..then say why etc. Add on the missing his calls and the waking up thing possibly..
His reaction will give your more indication/confirmation of his character don't you think. Just a suggestion

Yes AF - knew I wasn't overreacting about the waking up being abusive..I've heard that too!

I am feeling the warm glow of festive kindness towards others today

Except domestic abusers...they still make me feel white-hot rage

A bit of a snippy comment from a reg going through a tough time > meh