The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Driving Through A Sober Winter Wonderland.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Bus, he's called Gerald.... he takes us up and down and this wondrous land, searching high and low for Babes in need of some support, a warm place to sit and chat, and to have someone to listen to them.

So, grab a seat as we swing by your way. There's lots of hot drinks, food and fleeces, places to just be and places to sit around and chat if that's what you want.

We don't judge, because we've all be in your shoes, be they stilettos, wellies or crocs!...

We're just us, we're just honest and we just do what we can to help, if we can, when we can. Let's try and have a Merry Christmas without getting off our faces this year.

Here is the very first, emotional thread if you would like to see where this all started

And the last thread if you want to keep up!

Jingle ooooh it is a quote! By the wondrous Scarlett O' Hara!

I even went to see her frocks at the V&A, such a fan!

(I also favour the quote 'you should be kissed, and often, by someone who knows how' )

Still waiting... One day my Prince Charming will put in an appearance. Bibbidi shiting boo. xx

Hi Inde - thank you. HDBU was referring to the heads down, bums up phrase I've seen bandied about recently - I was too lazy to type it out, but as I'm still awake (feckin insomnia) what's to stop me?!

I'm fairly ignorant too - but in a despicable way

isinde babe. You've been through a terrible time. Losing a loved one is hell on earth. Be kind to yourself. And if you're still awake drink water before you go to bed so you don't feel too awful in the morning. Soon you'll have your babies in your arms again and that will be a glorious feeling.

Meanwhile the whole bus has got you wrapped up in a duvet on the backseat been hand fed green opals and wry is giving you a foot massage.
xxx

Isinde the very, VERY last thing you are is a failure. You have done everything possible in your Mum's final days, in the future that will be a comfort to you. And your DTs love you, they can be comforted, but yes, you need to hold them and going home will be good for you. The wine, well, that won't help; it won't bring back your mum, it won't make your dad more emotionally intelligent, it won't help DTs understand. But, and it is a big BUT, it is NOT a failure, it is an understandable response, a setback, and you can start a new day, feeling all you need to feel, but being kinder to yourself, and allowing others to support you.

You might have been drunk last night, but you weren't self-indulgent. so snuggle down in the sidecar and hop all the way on when you're ready, and don't be afraid to let the babes be here for you.

wry never ever be ashamed to post on here, drunk, sober or in between! Ya daft tart!
You are being sent to the sidecar and not allowed outside without a babe escort.
PS Barrie is in the sidecar to keep you company while I ride. All smug like ,in the bus with the big kids.

Morning All, welcome Meh (Gotta love a minion!), tell us a bit more about yourself when you're ready.

Wry, the full quote in all it's glory, you just have to be careful about the stress on 'badly'!!: "No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

I hope you feel a little more 'you' soon - the bus would miss you. I had that flat feeling with ADs - which scares me a little, because I know that my anxiety is becoming crippling, and I probably need to consider going back to them.

Couldn't switch my brain off last night, (the opposite of when I'm drinking, when making it conscious to 8.30 is a miracle). So got to bed at midnight, sleep ok, but a bit fitful, but got up at 6.30 to get DS up because he had begged for an early call - he said, no, he'd changed his mind and wanted a lie-in - grrrr.

Looked in the mirror this morning - swings and roundabouts, lots of spots - I am middle-aged, I did zits twenty years ago. Zits and wrinkles is just NOT FAIR . But I have found a chin! Under all the bloating I had a proper shape to my face. Now, if I can just find my waist again!

Day six, I'm coming to get you.

indie missed your post. Same goes to you as I said to wry
You are wonderful and much loved one here.
Welcome meh
Got to run. Look at the fecking time!

Morning Ma, just realised that DH (who is not usually WBish) has not yet put the Xmas tree or the outdoor lights in the attic - I did EVERYTHING else, put all of the other decos up there, packed the tree, got the boxes for the lights. And it's not because he's expecting me to do it, I said I couldn't with the size and shape of what is left. Hmmph!

Morning babes, Day 6, and another nights shit sleep, so definitely no boing here. Just realised it's little Christmas today so my decs need to come down this evening!

Morning. Just lost my post....I was talking about Me, me, me! Mainly that my DH had said that I do not have any joie de vivre and he is so right. How do people have that and why am I so miserable? I drink to be a bit more fun to myself and others.

Sorry enough of me.....

Morning all!

isinde so sorry for your loss, post away and I hope you get to see your girls tonight.

Thanks sweet - not sure what there is to tell - 36, 3 girls (10,8,4), work ft in fairly stressful job and felt for a while the creep of the booze had turned into a full on stomp. Packed in the fags almost 4 weeks ago, now need to do the same with the booze. Jan should be a good time to do it, but doesn't help I have a Jan birthday, so usually use that as an excuse to put off. Hopefully once this is under control I can then attack the main issue of being a total lardass (which my iPad helpfully just changed to landmass!?).

Feeling meh this morning, suffer from insomnia so took some tabs last night (gave in after over a week of shit sleep) and feel like a total zombie today. I'm could honestly go back to bed right now. But, better get back to laptop.

Hope you all have a great day, or at least a manageable one...!

ma - you are doing brilliantly. Grit your teeth and keep on keeping on. If you feel the ww getting close, go for a walk, a long one. Use your walking time to daydream about how things will be one day. Each glass of wine avoided is another couple of quid towards your eventual goal, and your freedom.

ruby I always thought I was drinking to be more fun, more sociable, a bit wittier. But actually it was a stupid false kind of fun. It was sometimes cruel, it was often tedious and boring to others, and in the end it didn't actually make me feel good. Over time I have discovered that my true joie de vivre didn't lie in the bottom of a bottle, it was laying quietly deep inside me. With patience, I coaxed this shy creature out into the daylight and found that it loved drumming classes, it loves writing, it loves twirling around on an empty beach until it is dizzy and laughing, it loves proper time spent with friends.

wry one of the marvellous things about this bus is that you can post anytime - sometimes that sidecar of shame gets rather crushed (or so ma tells me ). But look upon the past few days as an experiment - what were the pre-conditions, what was the process, what happened in the midst of it, and what was the outcome? Shining a light on it makes the bad seem not so awful or shameful, and the 'good' seem not so great.

isindie My df was similar - he just wanted the whole thing over as quickly as possible..... music? why would we want music if we weren't having hymns? I know that given his own family history it was a case of getting the task done, avoiding any emotional bosh, and then getting on with life. The most emotional he got was a couple of moments when he went a little quiet Take care, my lovely, this is a big thing for all of you.

venus I relate 100% to your paragraph to Ruby. I thought I had to drink and socialize and basically 'have fun'. It's such a waste. It took me months, and I'm still not quite there, to work out who I am sober and I much, much prefer the real me. I cringe if I think about that "fun, hilarious" drunk person. I'm still fun and quite funny, and it's real. I'm loving finding genuine confidence and social skills and the ability to not give a flying fuck anyway, even if I am sober. I really like myself sober. It's so much more of a true connected life.

It's hard because alcohol is so ingrained in our society, but fuck it. I love that I'm going to be feisty and strong and sober and care less and less about all the bullshit alcohol messages that we are inundated with.

Thanks for the responses Venus and Soc. The weird thing is I spend most of my time thinking -cringing- about times I've been drunk. Such an idiot. I too want to enjoy stuff rather than being drunk.

Isinde hope you are ok and being kind to your self

isinde, Your post has me in tears... Holding you tightly, babes. Very tightly... You are not a failure... Sometimes the pins of strength are tears...
xxxx

Hi, everyone.
Will be back later. Need a time out.

Isinde, what you and your sister did for your mum is an amazing thing. I did the same for my DM and look back at it as a privilege. The wounds heal but the scar will always be there. Don't be hard on yourself, you are going through a very hard time. I wish I had more words of comfort for you but I know not much helps at this time other than time itself.

Wry, took me ages to untangle my hair from the seat, ow! But thanks for caring

You new babes sound amazing. Will be back posting when I can, right now need to go and update my CV. Need to add shouting, crying and panicking to my list of achievements

ps, Isindie, just and hugs xxx

Meh at 'landmass'! Alcohol messes with your sleep patterns - you will see lots of us are having sleep troubles at the moment. But it does settle, and then you will sleep like you haven't known for years. at three girls, that would be enough to drive anyone to drink (how ever sweet). Cigs, drink and diet is a lot to do at once; a much wiser 'Babe' than me used to say deal with your addictions in the order they are killing you,- so be nice to yourself.

Ditto what Soc said about what Venus said, Ruby!

Having a bit of a shitty afternoon myself, work and utter twunt of a boss related - being excluded from an initiative I started. DH is saying I need to talk to boss, and I have just curled into a ball and given up. I want to cry at even the thought of having to talk to him, let alone having to be assertive and having to call him out on his behaviour .

I want to cry, I want to press the 'fuck it' button. I don't want to go back to work, but even going sick isn't an option because of DH. He is lovely and a complete darling, except on this, because he simply can't get his head around my inability to speak up for myself

I am with you Sweet on the inability to speak up for myself, I tie myself up in knots and end up flustering and making no sense . Really need to do something about it!

That's me Obrigada. I end up agreeing to the opposite of what I wanted - this boss in particular has a way of making me feel like I am being unreasonable to speak up for myself, but without ever appearing aggressive or bullying - he gets me to feel sorry for him.

Anyway, enough wallowing,perhaps DH is right, if I won't address the problem I need to let it go. At least I did resist the fuck it button, so here I am sipping peppermint water instead of that very superior bottle of Sancerre that was calling to me.

How was your day Obrigada? Hope the lack of sleep didn't interfere too much.