I have cut contact with my children's father, they see him two hours a week at a contact entre.
Since he had a baby with his partner, he has become a drug using, child smacking, inflammatory argumentative twat. He simply is not bright enough to have responsibility for my children, both of whom are intelligent and one of whom is autistic, with ADHD and a frighteningly high iq - and NO self control.
My child ended up with a dot tattoo because his father is a fucking idiot.
He ended up double dosed on his medication - because his father misunderstood, because he's a fucking idiot.
My children were coming back filthy, off their tits on E numbers, and constipated - because he's a fuckingidiot who doesn't know how to look after them. He just doesn't KNOW them, doesn't understand them, and despite having until ds2 was seven to learn, to read the book about autism I gave him, to listen about how effective simple and immediate consequences can be, he still doesn't understand how to handle them.
They disapprove of him. This hasn't been led by me, this has been led by the example all the other men in their lives set, such as my partner, my brother, my dad, their teachers.
They have noticed that nobody else they know yells at children for sitting on yoghurt that a full grow adult left on the sofa.
Nobody else they know smokes "special cigarettes that are smelly" all day and doesn't have a job.
Nobody else they know can't give them 20p for a glass of milk at the contact centre.
Nobody else they know allows their three year old to hit them (this is currently their relationship with their sister, by the way. She hits them, they don't even bother complaining because their dad can't control her, and they try to run off.)
Nobody else they know sleeps in and wears the same unwashed chef trousers for several weeks at a time.
Nobody else they know doesn't understand about tooth brushing.
He tells anyone who will listen that I am a control freak who won't let him see "his boys" (are they even his any more? Ds2 has more personality traits in common with my partner than with his own father) and that they cry to come to his house, and that I will "fuckin' regret it". His girlfriend never talks about my at all, except over Facebook where nobody can punch her. She thinks I am "so unfair" - this might have something to do with the fact that when I found out she had run me into £1500 of catalogue debt in my name, I reported her to the police and had her done for fraud.
But I don't regret it, not one bit. My children are now happy, settled, clean, not exposed to drug cultures, not in receipt of stolen goods, not pumped for their mothers financial information, and they brush their teeth every day. The only thing they are missing out on is the father he SHOULD have been, but never was.