DH & I have a close male friend [lets use the acronym MF] who spends quite a bit of time with us, both together and separately. We are both very fond of him, he's a very nice single [Christian - though I'm not sure why that should matter] guy. He has done us lots of favours over the last few years whilst my DH has been oow, including helping with car breakdowns, giving us discounts on music lessons, fixing bikes and training my YS as a sprinter [quite successfully]. We've known him for 3 years and whilst I used to find him attractive, the relationship is and always has been platonic. Now, whilst I still like him of course, we are more like brother and sister.
He's the kids' [3 sons aged 17,15,12] music teacher and is now as much of a mentor and male role model for them as anything else. I find him very easy to talk to and he seems quite tuned in to female psyche as well as being a bit of a lad when he's out with DH. He often stays for a cuppa and a chat - again with all of us as a family, as well as with DH or me on our own.
Last night, DH was away overnight on business, and MF came over for his regular music lesson with the boys. His car has been on its last legs for weeks now and was making the most awful [and ££ sounding] noise when he arrived. He wasn't even sure he'd get it home. I offered him the loan of one of our two cars [DH went away by train, and I usually cycle into work locally so I don't use my car anyway during the week]. I phoned DH to tell him what I'd done and this did not go down well with DH who felt I'd done MF too many favours recently [he is down to his last penny cent so I hosted the last music workshop he ran - the fact that the only attendees this time round all live within 100 yards of each other and are friends of mine anyway meant that logically it made sense just to host it at mine rather than hire a venue].
Why is it that having done what I thought was actually quite logical, DH has kicked off about not doing him any favours [overlooking the many favours MF has done for us over the years] as he might take advantage and hang on to the car longer than he needs to, or hold his next music event at our house, etc etc. We weren't using the cars anyway!
I think DH thinks I'm having an affair with MF and just doesn't trust me at all. I have given him no cause to suspect I would have an affair as I behave the same with MF when DH is around as I do when I am on my own with MF.
My relationship with MF is closer than some I guess, [I am not a great socialiser and have a very short list of friends] but is the same as e.g. my closest girlfriend, but I wouldn't share intimacies with MF, where I would with my GF. Last night we were chatting about different types of cheeses, FFS and whether or not kids should tuck their shirts in at school!
How do I get DH off my back and reassure him that I'm not up to anything, but just lending him a car for a day or two. He has commitments he must stick to or he will lose even more ££.
Is the fact that he's a bloke the 'elephant in the room' and has anyone else got a close MF that their DH doesn't take issue with?