Narky NC SiL being weird again.

[KingJoffreysBloodshotEye]

Am NC with narcissist SiL. It's been lovely.

She text me yesterday saying 'Happy Birthday' and some bullshit about not having sent a card because she's been so busy and just hasn't had the time.

We've been NC since April. APRIL

WHY is she contacting me? And on my birthday? What kind of freakshow texts just to tell someone they were too busy to post a card? WTF?

Ironically the last conversation we had she ripped me apart for not sending a get well card to MiL who had a cold or summat. My job, clearly. Although DP got a roasting too.

Then she text today to tell me she's posted a gift. WHY? We haven't spoken since APRIL!

She knows this. No contact. I've blocked her calls, blocked her on FB, ignored and deleted all texts.

Has she just forgotten how she treated me? Has it escaped her teeny mind? Does she think I haven't spoken to her for 7 months because I'm too busy or something??

I don't want her gift. It'll be shit. She buys me utter crap and it depresses me. [Ungrateful Brat Emoticon] Contact hooks, napkins, wire... (seriously). Just don't want it. Can I refuse to sign for it??

I've got a fair bit going on at the moment and I could do with her just fucking off. I'd forgotten about her. What's her issue?

Yes, he knows. He's very used to her being a bitch though. Her behaviour doesn't shock him. He emotionally detached from her years ago.

He can't stand her either. Has said several times she's a bitch and thinks she knows everything. She bosses him about and will be utterly vile to him when she wants to.

He can just ignore her. He won't ever invite her up again (he actually never did - I organised everything) and certainly won't expect me or DS to hang out with her. He knows how I feel.

He does love his mum though and they live together (bit of co-dependency going on there) so him blanking her isn't feasible. It's not much of a relationship though, they just text a couple of times a month. They live 4 hours away, seeing them involves planning.

He won't visit alone because all they do is watch telly and expect him to sit in the corner and read. Then take them out for a meal and drive a load of crap to the tip. When I go I'm expected to help 'sort out' their house.

If I go alone I'm asked for money within an hour of me visiting.

Not going again.

MiL is still welcome here. Just not SiL. And DP is

Bit late to this thread but wanted to say that binning a card and taking a gift from my SiL with whom I'm NC (primarily at her instigation as I'm too worried about my DH and MiL to instigate) to the charity shop was unbelievably satisfying.

Almost hoping I get a Christmas gift so I can do it again!

And my SiL is pretty vile - although not as bad as yours! Enjoy the chocolate

I did have a massively long thread last time she visited. People thought I was a troll, her behaviour was so outrageous.

I was totally scared she'd see it so had it deleted and name changed.

Someone said something just before it was deleted. Was about it actually being a sibling rivalry thing with DP and actually nothing to do with me.

Is true she's properly vile to me when DP is around, when we're alone she's okay. I did have it out with DP for letting her speak to me that way and he was apologetic and has been adorable to me since.

It could be partly jealousy. She got properly nasty when I got an inheritance and we bought our house. After the inheritance I got a lot of texts about bailiffs turning up and demanding money, she never text DP about money, just me.

She likes to slag off every aspect of our lives.

What an awful cow to do that to your son . Least now she's gone and you don't have to deal with her again . It's very empowering not to ha e to speak or deal with them again . I've come along way since going NC with my mother . Now it's to time for so called friend .

ah, thanks, I get the flying monkey thing and sure enough I had one of those too. "he is so fond of you you know". nope, just fond of inflating his own ego by drama baiting me.

I thought I'd get more flying monkeyness from MiL.

I've had none. I suspect she knows deep down exactly what the problem is. She has issues herself with SiL refusing to pay rent, etc.

Reading above The Narkies and money is pretty fascinating too.

This woman hurt your child, OP. Why on earth are you even considering having anything to do with her again, ever?

Er, I'm not!

That's what no contact means...

Why don't people read stuff before they get arsey??

king good luck today.

Regarding the comment about your son I hope you don't mind me saying this.

Your husband may be used to the SIL by now. But I think he needs to understand that beign adopted is something that has to be handled carefully and a cruel comment like your SILs can hurt a growing child very much, long term.

He might be able to brush it off easily, but he might struggle. It's worth having a good talk with both your son to see if he's ok, and your husband. People don't realise unless it actually affects them just how much it can hurt long term.

Ah, cheers.

It's cool, it's been dealt with. DS is fine. Their paths are very unlikely to cross again. Not now.

I think I'll feel proper relief once we've been NC for a full year. Hoping by then she'll accept that I'm not giving in. Only a few months to go.

He's not adopted. He's my DS and I net DP when DS was only a year old. No bio-father on the scene. DP has brought him up, DS calls him 'dad', etc. No idea why SiL felt the need to bring it up.

I guess it was just another way to feel superior to me.

She does want a husband, children and her own home. Used to mention it a lot. Bugs her that I have those things.

huh, I got the wrong end of the stick there - sorry. Glad it's all sorted out!

Sounds like she was taking a pop at you all then. Sheesh, it must be just delightful to be NC with her. Like lowering a shield and coming out into the sun.

No idea why SiL felt the need to bring it up.

Because she is a cunt. HTH.

Lowering a shield and coming out in the sun is exactly what it's like!

It's pretty awesome.

My xsil (db's wife) used to do something similar.
If we were all at my parents talking about a certain thing (let's use tennis although it wasn't that) because we're all fans, she'd suddenly pipe up "But Baffled, you don't play tennis".
Which is true but I hadn't said I did and everybody round the table knew that anyway.
So I'd agree that I hadn't and then she'd look smug.
I think it was insecurity and some bizarre belief that she was going to persuade my family to reject me in some strange competition of her making.
I guess your SIL was trying to win by undermining your ds. She's the blood relative so more important in her head and your dh will reject ds in her favour.
Quite childish really. And doomed to failure.

I apologise, I didn't mean to get arsey. It just came across that you pay far too much attention and spend too much energy thinking about this woman. She contacted you? So? Ignore.

You ask what her issue is. Does it matter?

That said, I do understand the impulse to rant. Oh, do I understand it