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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Paying for sex

92 replies

avoiretre · 18/11/2014 14:54

Anyone seen this article in the Mail:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2838656/One-nine-men-admits-paid-sex-Single-men-aged-25-34-professional-jobs-likeliest-group-use-prostitutes.html#comments
Looking at the comments at the bottom, most think that most men pay. Is this more true than we like to admit?

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 19/11/2014 11:49

I don't agree that most punters are necessarily ugly, my previous post was with reference to the discussion of generic punter comments along the 'it's no wonder we pay for it when our wives look like they do' line.

I can only imagine what they must look like.

Twinklestein · 19/11/2014 12:03

Thanks for the link LadyBlahBlah.

He's absolutely right that prostutition can never be made safe because a % of men will be violent with them and that cannot be changed, unfortunately.
A dismal number of punters do not understand that paying a woman does not give them the right to do anything they like.

This is why legalisation is a red herring. All it has done, in the countries that have tried it, is lead to an explosion of trafficking.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 19/11/2014 14:20

I don't know anyone who has paid for sex. I assume that some have but I just don't know about it, and it isn't discussed openly. The attitude of it being commonly accepted amongst men is not true.

(Oh and as far as the 'paying emotionally' thing goes, whilst it's clearly pathetic, it's a view you see on MN a lot too. There's lots of comments like "Well if he did more around the house I'm sure you would feel more up for sex" and so on. It seems that the view of sex being something that a man needs to earn does not just come from men.)

LadyBlaBlah · 19/11/2014 16:56

When someone talks of "helping around the house they might get more sex" and that being some sort of payment is just ludicrous.

Women still do the majority / too much of the shit manual tasks and it pisses them off eventually because it is bullshit. And when someone is bullshitting you, you pretty much universally don't want to have sex with them.

Lioninthesun · 20/11/2014 00:11

I really must stop looking at the comments. Just caught up with the article Lady posted earlier and am seething again. Do the men trawl the internet for stories about women finally being heard and then post misogynist comments for fun? It seems like every article where women have a breakthrough or finally get a break they all pop up like fungus. Was reading the comments on here earlier and getting equally disheartened www.independent.co.uk/news/people/julien-blanc-controversial-pickup-artist-is-denied-visa-to-enter-uk-9870791.html?origin=internalSearch I keep thinking I must have read a different story when I read the comments on Independent. Guardian comments seem to be slightly more 'normal'.

Tobyjugg · 20/11/2014 18:24

Lion Do the men trawl the internet for stories about women finally being heard and then post misogynist comments for fun? As a man, I'm sad to say that, yes, I think some actually do this.

Twinklestein · 20/11/2014 20:15

Do the men trawl the internet for stories about women finally being heard and then post misogynist comments for fun?

Of course they do. A significant % of men who hang out on broadsheet websites commenting on female journalists' articles or articles relating to feminist issues are not readers of that newspaper, they're just there for the ruck.

They seem to have a lot of free time during the day and I have concluded that they are a combination of the following: unemployed, retired, ill and mad.

AnyFucker · 20/11/2014 20:20

twink, I will add another descriptive to that list

unintentionally celibate

Wink
LurcioAgain · 20/11/2014 20:45

That article is good, Lady Blah. Thanks for the link (not going to look at the comments...) Thank heavens there are decent people out there in roles where they have professional responsibility for this sort of thing who will speak out.

walkingcontradiction · 20/11/2014 21:37

So the general feeling here is men who pay for sex are nasty people. Personly i think it is not that simple but who cares. But are women who pay male escorts for sex also nasty or as someone said earlier.... cunts?

AnyFucker · 20/11/2014 21:38

Yep

Was there a point to that ?

walkingcontradiction · 20/11/2014 21:52

Even if say for example she has a disability and has been a victim of bullying with no man willing to get to know her in that way?

AnyFucker · 20/11/2014 21:55

I don't think that anyone has the right to pay for sex. It's quite simple, really. You are trying to conjure up false equivalences.

walkingcontradiction · 20/11/2014 22:07

Im not trying to conjure up anything I just dont think it is as simple as black or white.

Amyanne · 20/11/2014 22:37

I have to agree with an earlier poster who commented that for some men it seems 'cleaner' paying for sex abroad than it does at home. Across every country in South-East Asia the availability of paid for sex is astounding. Men don't need to visit a brothel if that seems seedy to them. In tourist hot spots, there are so many 'normal' bars and clubs with a mixture of men, women, people looking for sex, people not looking for sex that are filled with gorgeous, young girls who are 'freelancing' and would quite happily make some extra money by going back to a man's hotel. Men might not actually be looking for sex, just out enjoying a night out and are approached. After a few drinks, for some it's easy to think yeah why not. Not just old men either, as many young guys in their 20s and 30s too. In some places, it is impossible for a single man drinking alone in a bar or walking down a street to avoid- he will be continuously approached. Society's acceptance and the fact that you don't even have to actively search removes the seedy, filthy aspect for many. The statistic in reality is much higher.

Amyanne · 20/11/2014 22:39

Oh and I had a look at the UKPunting page shock]. The men on there really do think it is their right to pay for sex if they wish.

Audeca · 21/11/2014 09:06

@TheHermitCrab

Yeah, I hadn't realised I had posted that!

I had been writing quite a long response to avoiretre because I dislike sweeping generalisations backed up with crappy made up statistics , but then decided not to post and deleted it....

...well, most of it. I clearly managed to post just the quote that I had thought about replying to! Confused

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