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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dating 83

999 replies

jesy · 16/11/2014 11:58

Can I start us ???'

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SuperFlyHigh · 06/12/2014 21:57

gotta that sounds great, he sounds very caring and kind. More of the same! Smile

DollyRocker1 · 06/12/2014 23:04

Really pleased for you gotta. Will keep my fingers crossed for date no 3.

jesy · 07/12/2014 05:56

Made man

No we contacted each other 18months ago been texting on and off since

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dippinmytoe · 07/12/2014 09:27

gotta that's brilliant, some guys are just nice ... and some of us are not used to that and think it's all an act ! The guy I'm seeing is very nice and complimentary... I'm still getting used to it but it's great... my exh would never have been like that, more likely to call me a fat c Angry. I have definitely broken away from the normal type of guy I go for.... but so far so very good !!

jesy · 07/12/2014 09:38

Hi all happy Sunday

Well odd last 12 hour , texted a mate (female, w h o due to location I never see ) who is going away she had a crap time and going home so be just fB contact , anyways major oops time ten min after I sent text saying you'll find love again I vet a reply asking

is this Sarah and an hour later a voice mail saying he married now dUck off from a scary sounding woman think I may have sent text to some one I went on a few dates with but to me it sounds like he playing away
Ie called me Sarah in text but wen Mrs called me by right name lol ooopsies

Wasn't funny last night but me thinks he a player lol

On a brighter note text of Mr rig this am " fancy a late breakfast ,pub doing all day breakfast thing today , my treat and santa be there "

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gottafindaman4yagirl · 07/12/2014 09:54

Dippin I'm not use to being made to feel beautiful. My exh never in the 12 yrs together said I was beautiful, I felt invisible.
When he says I'm beautiful I find it so hard to believe.
We deserve some TLC.

jesy · 07/12/2014 10:11

Gotta

I know when you have felt invible it's hard , I know what u mean tho, when I was seeing my ex we were going to see his best friends baby , I'd of been well a few days before and was worried about going and desperate to appear same age so silly I know I'd bought stuff similar to what other girl wore.
Asked him if I looked ok and his response was no one will look at u it's the kid they wa t to see

Your beautiful to him, your a kind hearted person so beautiful

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dippinmytoe · 07/12/2014 10:18

I totally understand that gotta ,you start to believe the crap exes say, so when someone says the complete opposite we tend not to believe them. I'm slowly getting used to compliments... I am gradually building my self confidence up again, after my exh knocked me down so much. This year I have achieved so many things that my exh would have said I could never do. Give major tom a chance :-)

gottafindaman4yagirl · 07/12/2014 10:27

jesy, Dippin Thanks for positive words.
Everyone tells me I am a much better person since I split from ex, even my children are happier with a more calm mum.
Will definitely give him a chance, after our lunch date yesterday he text and said he didn't want date to end :).

dippinmytoe · 07/12/2014 11:03

Ahh that's lovely gotta . I have another date tonight with my guy..

gottafindaman4yagirl · 07/12/2014 16:25

Enjoy your date tonight dippin :)

JuJuHeyHey · 07/12/2014 16:59

Sorry to hear about your dad Gotta

Hope you have a nice date Dippin

Jesy you're right to let that one go - sounds like he's got some drama going on at home, hope you get to see him soon, find out if the wait is worth it!

jesy · 07/12/2014 17:16

Juju
Nothing got formally arranged today so didn't see him

Disappointed I guess,, went past but car not there never mind not sure what to do

Just feel it's me

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gottafindaman4yagirl · 07/12/2014 20:17

Thanks juju If I could find a man as wonderful as my dads been to my mum, i would be happy.
So far Major Tom been a tea gentleman, we got our wires crossed while texting, he thought I was up for a picture of him excited. I text that I was not interested in pictures and I preferred the old fashioned ways of waiting to see such intimate bits in person ;) He was really glad and respected me for being so. I was so relieved with his response. We know we both feel turned on but its nice to take it slow.
jesy Its not you, sometimes things happen and don't happen for good reasons. You seem like a genuine person and its a shame that we meet alot of not so genuine people.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 07/12/2014 23:22

Major Tom has slipped up, I don't dress tarty but it seems men are initially driven by tits and arse. I am very sexual but it begins in my head and not vagina.
Been called a milf by a 26 yr old I had a date with, being called a milf is not a turn on.
I wouldn't mind if men could look under 30 once they reach 25.

Question for the few men, Is a man less likely to want to form a long term meaningful relationship with a woman if she appears too sexy/Attractive or interested in sex ?
Major Tom getting too carried away with how I look, I have never been comfortable with men putting my looks before my other good qualities.

Bant · 08/12/2014 00:13

gotta
I think the men on here can't really answer huge generalisations like 'is a man less likely to...' etc etc.
That's like me asking 'do women like men with tattoos' - Some do, some don't care, some hate them

What I can say though is that I prefer a woman who is attractive, but someone who tries too hard is off putting.

I have seen women's profiles (only on tinder) where they're completely naked - with no face shown, or mostly naked with a face too. I immediately go off them to be honest. If I'd seen the women dressed normally I may have been interested if their profile text was interesting, but if they seem desperate then I'm not interested.

Personally I think it's crass to start talking about sex with someone before we've actually done it in person, a bit of mild flirting to let them know I'm not made of stone is fine but nothing more.

If I were to only talk to someone about how they looked then that's because I didn't find something else about them more interesting to talk about, or I felt they needed to be swayed by sweet words of appreciation.

Does he give the impression that you're interesting, funny, or something else like that other than just attractive? It's easy to put people in mental boxes when you meet them through OD.

newstartforme · 08/12/2014 08:31

Hi all. Have come on here to vent and lick my wounds.
I met a guy through old about three months ago. Been seeing him quite a bit then on sat he announced via text that we werent right for each other!!!
Tbh this has left me reeling I really wasnt expecting such an abrubt end :-( this will sound silly but it really hurts. Almost as much as when my ex left me for someone else. What the hell is wrong with me. Ive been crying non stop since he dropped me and my eyes are so puffed up I cant face the world.

DollyRocker1 · 08/12/2014 08:35

Sorry to hear that new start. But better to know now than in a year's time.

Wish guys would have the balls to tell us this sort of thing in person or at least over the phone. I have a friend who was dumped by e-mail recently after two and a half years!

newstartforme · 08/12/2014 08:40

Yes Dolly am glad to know now i guess. Its just such a blow! He wanted us to remain fb friends !! I told him to shove that :-(
I dont even know why I liked him, he wasnt all that fanciable. Pretty crap in bed really... but there was something there and I dont get that very often!!
What a crap xmas Ive got in front of me now..

jesy · 08/12/2014 08:47

New

I think when we feel it's going well it hurts no matter how long or short it goes.
We feel rejected and at a loss of what to do.
And I've found it not just their rejection it's the loss of silly things , me I miss being able to send daft texts , the friendship from their friends, even actually miss his room mate.
I found certain films or telly I won't watch now as it was our thing.
For ages after I stopped seeing my friend from last year I'd cry when I went past harbour, still do some days but I

Think it's a mourning process for us when ever we loose what we thought we had be it dating or friends

But you have us , well listen help if we can x
Now dry those eyes and if not at work do something practical not to self jesy do the same x

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newstartforme · 08/12/2014 08:55

I called in sick for work !
I really could not face it today.
Its my own fault If im honest I felt he was not as interested as me but my feelings for him were overwheming. What the f"ck is wrong with me?

jesy · 08/12/2014 09:04

New

Nothing is wrong with you.

I gather you felt more for him than he did

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newstartforme · 08/12/2014 09:12

yes it would seem so.. I cant eat !
I tried to stop seeing him but he always initiated contact so it carried on. I am a total and utter fool.

jesy · 08/12/2014 09:20

I've come to the conclusion I'm too fussy lol, last year I chatted to a lovely chap but didn't fancy him.
Had a fB request of him today , had a nose at pictures and he looks a lot better than his profile picture.
But guess what he in a relationship , and she is a stunner Lol

He was great personality wise as well.

This is why I'm going to see if Mr rig can see me at some point.
He said he'd got the note I'd left and was sorry he'd been unwell in bed,said he thinks it been a stressful week at work and his ex hit roof about their daughter ext.

But this am, I'd got an early start and went to my car a nite saying sorry again and of all things an Ice scraper off him lol

I also started to chat to someone from my home town who seems Ok but we will see but he does have links with a dodgy family from home x

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jesy · 08/12/2014 09:25

New

Your not huni, and if you are we all are, I'm a prime example in Sept Mr IT told me he'd met this girl ,I cried and cried even tho we were just fwb , two days later she said she changed her mind and then two days later I slept with him.

I think a lot of us will admit to being a bit daft like that.

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