My husband's co-worker

[frustratedmama]

I need a bit of advice please, as I am not sure if I am just being a jealous wife or if there may be more to this.

My husband hired a very attractive young woman for his office a couple of months ago - she is very glamorous and seems like her looks are everything to her, as I have learnt from a bit of snooping that she is very lacking in the job skills department and that my husband is more or less holding her hand in all that she does - like they are a double act rather than employee and manager.

He said he employed her purely because he thought she could do the job, but the girl seems to barely be able to spell her own name, and was dismissed from her last company - hardly a glowing report. And he told me his boss agreed to give her the job after asking 'is she a looker?' despite my husband saying he was indifferent as to whether she was hired or not.
I first started to get worried about this when he started mentioning her name and her opinions on different things, then he said that all the guys were all over her at the work night out, and he had to defend her from their advances, and from an employee who was rude to her. He even asked this guy to apologise the following week and make amends as he did not want her to feel upset over it, but I think it was just a bit of banter at the bar.
Then he started telling me about her outside interests and constantly saying the guys are digging at him saying that he must fancy her and how could he not fancy her. I am sick of hearing it all and start to get annoyed about it, but he just denies that he finds her attractive or anything else. Then I heard that she was saying how her boyfriend gets jealous of her going away for overnights with work, and she had asked my husband if I mind him staying away.

He also didn't tell me about meetings he was going to with her on the other side of the country (because he didn't want me worrying).

I also met her recently and she was very nonchalant and not particularly friendly, didn't seem to even want to look me in the eyes.
I'm not sure what to think about all of this.
I will be interested to hear your responses, as this is all fairly new territory for me.

Thanks

sorry, speech tags in wrong place there

it should read I find your own statement that someone "looks like a blow up doll" offensive

I assumed she was just repeating what he said, re the blow up doll? He certainly has a terrible attitude towards women. If DH said to me he found a woman's body attractive but her face left him cold, I'd be furious at him for reducing her to a collection of body parts. Let alone the other stuff.

OP, this is a horrible situation for you. You need to get sit down with your husband and get it all out, tell him you see through all the lies, so he needs to be honest for once. It might be the case that nothing has happened yet, but he's definitely infatuated with this woman. Mentionitis is just a sign that he's thinking about her all the time.

Just as an aside, it's one thing to get dragged to a strip club, it's another thing to get a private lap dance. He paid her to dance for him and then looked away? Seriously? A (single) male friend of mine recently got dragged to a strip club on a stag night, he stayed at the bar and stared into his beer while the others picked a woman and went off for a dance. I assume that's how you'd behave if you didn't really want to be there.

OP get it all out there, tell him you're close to leaving and that you deserve not to be lied to, and to have to put up with him seeking thrills outside of your marriage.

I think he'd like to fuck her (sorry to be brutal) and she is using it to hang onto a job she's not really up to. So long as she can keep her job she'll string him along, she might actually get into bed with him, but I doubt if it'd be an emotional thing (for what that's worth). Watch him very carefully and start getting your financial paperwork in order.