motivation/ encouragement needed to quit drinking for November

[Feckinlego]

Hi guys, would really love your help. For the past year I seem to have gotten myself into the bad habit of drinking 4-5 nights a week. I'm drinking 2-4 bottles of wine per week, far too much!
A bit of background, we'll I've 2 children age 1 and 7, and an amazing dh. I work part time, 2 nights per week. Me and dh work opposite shifts so dc don't need childminders. So I'm on my own a lot with the kids.
Reasons I give myself to dtink:
Stressful day with dc
Going on nights the following night
finishing nights for the week
weekend
big one- to avoid dtd with dh(sexdrive completely gone after last birth though was never great)
for the past few months I've been having periods every 2-3 weeks, with resulting horrific black moods, to the point I'm wondering if I'm actually depressed.
I'm functioning ok, house clean/dcs fed dressed played with etc. Dh doesn't think I have a problem but I do, so I thought I'd start with a month off to see how I get on.
any advice greatly appreciated. I'm off on to work but ill try post when I can xx

Good on yer, hampton. Mmmmmm, burgers... That's got me thinking - I think I might have to stop at the chippy for dinner on the way home from spin class. (Weight loss comes second to emotional wellbeing today!)

with loads of fried onions!!!!

Hi girls, you're all doing really well and sound so upbeat too. My day has not been good. I couldn't get motivated to do anything, and as the day has gone on my mood has become blacker and blacker. Had a totally pointless argument with dh and shouted at the dc for nothing. Think my period is on the way even though I only had it 2 weeks ago. No urge to drink even though this kind of day I usually would, I just know it would make me worse. Sorry for the downer when you're all sounding so cheerful xx

Managed the shop. Dp said "something for us to drink?" And steered trolley to soft drink aisle. So that's tonight sorted.
I'm really weepy though. Not sure what's up.

Good on you choochoo! Did dp react or say anything?

He was the one that got the sparkling water so I guess he gets the hint.
I'm crying in the bathroom, it's all really getting to me and he's not very good at dealing with my emotions. God knows what this counselling will do to us.

Oh dear, are u ok? Is it yesterday's session hitting u? Men are a bit rubbish at knowing what to say but I think he'll understand at least. I'm not the best person to cheer u up at the moment, but let it all out here if you think it will help

Same for you. Yes I think after one session I'm seeing things differently. Also seeing I'll never have a healthy relationship with alcohol which I find so mournful! I love drinking, I love it.
Realising it's something I'm going to have to give up is sad. But I'm hoping in time, I'll see that for the good thing it is.
Right now I just wish there was a glass of wine waiting for me, but ladies, have no fear, there isn't, I'm in my pyjamas and not leaving the house.
The rest of the week I can't say, but my head really isn't in a good place to think about anything other than today.
Sorry I'm so self pitying, I'm thinking of you lot too!

That's what we're here for. You're dealing with an awful lot of emotions in one go, and you probably didn't expect to feel like that, it'd overwhelming. It must all seem so difficult but as you say, in time it will all make sense.

choochoo you don't love drinking actually.

You say upthread "I wake up every week with the same feelings about drinking,." and you talk about how dreadful you feel after a binge. You also say " I'm so depressed about my weight, money, hangovers, I just want it all to stop"

Try to remember those thoughts and feelings which are very understandable and very real, rather than the false perception you have that you enjoy what drinking is doing to you and for you.

You are doing something really positive for yourself. Give yourself a hug and smile.

We are all right there with you willing you, and ourselves on.

Thanks guys, virtual kick up the ass is what I need. I've recovered from my bathroom cry and am cooking dinner and being almost pleasant to everyone ;)
How's everyone else's night going?

Evening everyone, you all seem to be doing great. I went to a party last night and gave in to temptation and had a beer. :( on a positive note it was only one and I really wanted wine! Fancied a wine tonight, but haven't and am determined not to. Its my weekend tomorrow though so I will be tomorrow :)

Never at least you're moderating? It's bloody hard isn't it. Any little helps in cutting down, I think.

Choochoo you're doing great.

Feckin you're doing great too. It's so easy to think 'oh fuck it' when you're feeling down and what's the point anyway, you may as well have that drink. Just get through today.

I'm doing alright. I'll wobble at the weekend though, I know. Two evenings out, both of which would normally be quite boozy. One night i can drive, but the other is at neighbours so going to have to have a plan in place to deal with it.

How's everyone else tonight?

I wouldn't count that as a fail neverenough, u were able to have one beer and stop at that. I think that's brilliant.
Glad you're feeling a bit better choochoo. Hampton gave you some great advice there.
I'll be ok, no temptation to drink at all. But I know I'll be lucky to make the end of the week. I've no plans, but Friday is my fave night in. Can't see me surviving it.

How has everyone done. I've got through without :) Feel ok now about the weekend, not ready to give that up - maybe one day! Monday, it starts all again

Well, yesterday felt a bit of a downer, I thought. I felt really down and just wanted to binge eat and binge drink. Have woken up pleased that I didn't though. Dreading weigh-in on Sat though - what if I haven't lost any weight??
Hope everyone has a good day today!

I'm in, after a gradual creep up in consumption, culminating in the hangover from hell last weekend after a dinner party. Dh & I have decided to declare a dry November.

Well done cat, it's a real good feeling isn't it! Even if you don't lose, you'll still feel good surely - and little steps eh?

Morning everyone! I'm up, didn't drink and feel, well, honestly like crap but I know it's not cos of booze and I know I'll be alright when I've woken up properly.
Tonight I'm seeing a friend. They're coming to mine. I only have beer in the house which I rarely drink so I figure as long as I don't buy wine, I'll make it another night. If I do 4 nights, will be longest in months so I really want to.
Also my sleep significantly improved last night and I don't want to affect that.
Hope everyone slept well!

Have some of you ladies seen the brave babes or dry threads on here - they are both fantastic for people who have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol - I know because I'm on them both - and reading your threads it sounds like some of you would find a lot of support and like minded tails on those threads :)

Hi MrsTumble, we are here to take some baby steps.

Thanks 70, I will take a look but I think from earlier posts we felt a bit scared of those threads - not sure why, maybe we're just coming to terms with ourselves

I was so tempted to have a beer last night, they were just shouting me from the fridge whilst I made my tea. But I decided that if I still wanted one after I had eaten I would have it. And it turned out that once I'd gotten past sitting down with my food I was ok and didn't really want one.

Again for me it's a habit and accessibility thing, but I'm now challenging my "why not" attitude and I feel pretty happy that I've had 5 nights and just 2 beers.

Glad you slept well ChooChoo, that should keep improving I would think. After months 4 nights off is brilliant, 5 would be amazing. And if you then have 2 night of more moderation and another 5 nights off you should be really proud of yourself.

And to everyone.

Have to go throw the kids out of bed now, see you later.

ok Elvish. I know what you mean - but esp on brave babes most posters just trying to cut down -
I am 25 days Alcohol free myself so well chuffed. I agree with the habit thing - it just creeps up doesn't it -
Good luck :)

Morning everyone and welcome Mrstumble. No drink here either, the weekend is a different story. Don't know if it's the demons or common sense talking, but I'm thinking if I have a dry month I might go overbiard drinking in December. But if I allow myself a weekend drink I might have a chance of moderating.
Just read that back, it sounds a bit lame. I'm still in foul mood. Hope thus day improves xx

What you said yesterday choochoo is haunting me. You said you will never have a healthy relationship with alcohol and you were sad to realise you'll have to give up. It's haunting me because, basically are we all like that on here just by the fact we've let our drinking get our of control? Are we fooling ourselves we can cut down. I'm not sure ill ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Is there any point in even trying?

Mmmm - thinking about what you are saying Feckinlego - if you read the brave babes you will find your relationship and the majority (maybe all) ladies on here have the same relationship with alcohol they have. - anyone who finds it hard to quit for a few days/week does not gave a normall relationship with alcohol. Thee was a thread on here a few days ago about a lady who drank a bottle of wine on sat and sun each week - the majority of people on here were disgusted by that and said that it was very excessive - I on the other hand with my abnormal relationship to alcohol thought it was an OK amount to drink on just two days a week ........