Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

motivation/ encouragement needed to quit drinking for November

314 replies

Feckinlego · 01/11/2014 20:21

Hi guys, would really love your help. For the past year I seem to have gotten myself into the bad habit of drinking 4-5 nights a week. I'm drinking 2-4 bottles of wine per week, far too much!
A bit of background, we'll I've 2 children age 1 and 7, and an amazing dh. I work part time, 2 nights per week. Me and dh work opposite shifts so dc don't need childminders. So I'm on my own a lot with the kids.
Reasons I give myself to dtink:
Stressful day with dc
Going on nights the following night
finishing nights for the week
weekend
big one- to avoid dtd with dh(sexdrive completely gone after last birth though was never great)
for the past few months I've been having periods every 2-3 weeks, with resulting horrific black moods, to the point I'm wondering if I'm actually depressed.
I'm functioning ok, house clean/dcs fed dressed played with etc. Dh doesn't think I have a problem but I do, so I thought I'd start with a month off to see how I get on.
any advice greatly appreciated. I'm off on to work but ill try post when I can xx

OP posts:
Feckinlego · 20/11/2014 18:27

Interesting blog and replies. Don't know if I'd ever be able to quit completely but those who have make it sound great.
Elvish I've found during the day I promise myself a drink that night after the kids are in bed to ease the pain of the day. These weeks though, I've realised I'm fine without it once they're actually in bed.

OP posts:
Elvish · 20/11/2014 22:43

Well even if I was going to fall off the wagon I couldn't, not a drop of anything in the house. This is actually a bit of a problem as it's take a bottle for the school fair day tomorrow and all I have for DD to take is ketchup....

corkybolleaux · 22/11/2014 16:10

How did the ketchup bottle go down, Elvish?! On a side note, what does the school do with all the bottles?

Hope everyone is doing well. Wishing strength for tonight to anyone who might feel tempted. I'm feeling far too rubbish even to contemplate booze; the mystery rash I was complaining about the other day turned out to be shingles. Ouch. Sad

Elvish · 23/11/2014 07:56

Oh Corky, poor you with shingles, I hope you're not feeling too uncomfortable. Thanks

The bottles are for a stall at the school fair, it's a bit random to see a bunch of 5 year olds taking booze into the class room in the morning. I managed to get up a bit early and took DD to the corner shop for bottles rather than taking the ketchup so she wasn't too embarrassed by my lack of planning Smile

Not having alcohol in the house is a great way for me to cut down, I've not had a drink now since last Sunday. DH was out on Thursday night and last night too, so when he text me on Friday asking if we needed anything to drink I told him I didn't and he didn't either! He had a dry Friday night with me, which is very unusual for him.

We're hosting tonight, parents and PIL round for roast lamb, so I'm planning on having a glass or 2 of red wine and then be off it again for the rest of next week.

November is nearly over but I'm hoping to keep up cutting down going into December and I may well have a dry January and see if DH will too (he did last year).

Hope everyone else is ok Brew

Elvish · 23/11/2014 07:56

Oh Corky, poor you with shingles, I hope you're not feeling too uncomfortable. Thanks

The bottles are for a stall at the school fair, it's a bit random to see a bunch of 5 year olds taking booze into the class room in the morning. I managed to get up a bit early and took DD to the corner shop for bottles rather than taking the ketchup so she wasn't too embarrassed by my lack of planning Smile

Not having alcohol in the house is a great way for me to cut down, I've not had a drink now since last Sunday. DH was out on Thursday night and last night too, so when he text me on Friday asking if we needed anything to drink I told him I didn't and he didn't either! He had a dry Friday night with me, which is very unusual for him.

We're hosting tonight, parents and PIL round for roast lamb, so I'm planning on having a glass or 2 of red wine and then be off it again for the rest of next week.

November is nearly over but I'm hoping to keep up cutting down going into December and I may well have a dry January and see if DH will too (he did last year).

Hope everyone else is ok Brew

Elvish · 23/11/2014 07:56

Not sure how I managed to post an essay twice!?!

Bowlersarm · 23/11/2014 08:07

Morning all. Everyone's doing so well. I think this thread has made everyone seriously consider levels they are drinking at and trying to do something about it. All good.

I've been off the wagon since about 14th nov, but not drinking excessively. At friends last night for boozy dinner which went on until 2.00..!..but I only had 1 glass of champagne standing around to start with, 1 glass of wine with the meal and 1 glass of port afterwards. And about 10 glasses of water. Everyone else quite hammered. Feel great and raring to go this morning - dh less so!!

Got a week or so of the odd glass of wine then determined to stick to 1st-25th dec alcohol free.

Have a great day everyone and thanks for starting the thread feckin.

Feckinlego · 23/11/2014 09:39

Morning all. I'm not doing well. I told dh about how I'm struggling with life in general, I feel everything is getting out of control, housewirk/kids etc. He told me he's thought about leaving this past few months, so basically told me to get counselling or he's leaving. That was Friday. He went out last night so I drank a half bottle of wine. I've family visiting today until Wednesday and ill be expected to drink and I don't think I've the strength to say no. I know he won't leave me but I'm still scared of the road ahead

OP posts:
Feckinlego · 23/11/2014 09:41

Sorry I ignored everyone else there, the ketchup made me laugh! You're all doing great

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 23/11/2014 10:47

Sorry to hear that, feckin. Have you always had a good relationship with your dh up to now? Sometimes life really grinds you down. But you are doing well not to turn to drink, you have an excuse to, but you haven't. That's so cool.

Feckinlego · 23/11/2014 11:42

We have a great relationship except for one thing, he wants sex I don't. It's always been like that but it's gone to once a month at most now. I'm so stressed I can't muster the enthusiasm any more. It's not fair on him, he's a good man. I think drinking has escalated as a reason not to dtd. But drinking has also made me too tired to cope with life. I'm going to make an appointment with my gp

OP posts:
Elvish · 23/11/2014 14:17

Thanks Feckin, sounds like a tough weekend.

I find my sex drive takes a plunge when I'm tired, stressed and overweight. I think it's quite normal but I understand how it can be adding stress about your relationship and making things worse.

What are you stressed about at home? Is there anything you can address?

I'm a big fan of lists and setting goals to make me focus.

So, this time next year what would you want to have happened and where would you want to be? Might be a new job or new house, to have a room redecorated, to have lost weight etc etc.

Is it realistic to do it in a year? So if you want to go and do a degree it wouldn't be, but it would be in 5 years - if it's a longer term goal still write it down (it's important to write stuff down but you don't have to share it!)

So 5 and a half years ago I was living with then DP, not married, not in my ideal job, no kids and in a tiny little house. I decided that I wanted to get married, have kids and get a promotion then move.

It made sense to get the promotion before TTC so I'd be better off on mat leave and go back part time on more money. So that was one goal and I spoke to my boss and found out how I could do it. She set out steps I would have to achieve and I could be methodical about.

I did similar with everything else and now we are married, have 2 kids and a nice big house.

The main thing I needed to do was understand my goals and be clear with myself what was essential to my happiness and what was flexible.

I don't want to sound like a self help book, but if you can get to the bottom of what you want your life to be like it will be easier to achieve.

corkybolleaux · 27/11/2014 15:04

Oh feckin I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it. Here, have some Flowers (I got two bunches from Elvish!) How did you get on with your family visit?

I like the list/goals idea. I've always just kind of floated through wherever life has taken me, but unfortunately that has brought me to where I am today, feeling that a lot of life has actually passed me by.

I've gone more than a week now without a drink, but that's largely because of the bloody shingles. Hoping I will start to feel back to my usual self soon. This has really wiped me out. On the plus side, I'm hoping it's got me out of the habit of pointless boozing of an evening.

Hoping everyone is holding up well x

hillbilly · 02/12/2014 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page