motivation/ encouragement needed to quit drinking for November

[Feckinlego]

Hi guys, would really love your help. For the past year I seem to have gotten myself into the bad habit of drinking 4-5 nights a week. I'm drinking 2-4 bottles of wine per week, far too much!
A bit of background, we'll I've 2 children age 1 and 7, and an amazing dh. I work part time, 2 nights per week. Me and dh work opposite shifts so dc don't need childminders. So I'm on my own a lot with the kids.
Reasons I give myself to dtink:
Stressful day with dc
Going on nights the following night
finishing nights for the week
weekend
big one- to avoid dtd with dh(sexdrive completely gone after last birth though was never great)
for the past few months I've been having periods every 2-3 weeks, with resulting horrific black moods, to the point I'm wondering if I'm actually depressed.
I'm functioning ok, house clean/dcs fed dressed played with etc. Dh doesn't think I have a problem but I do, so I thought I'd start with a month off to see how I get on.
any advice greatly appreciated. I'm off on to work but ill try post when I can xx

Hi elvish. That's a tough one, I know what u mean about those weekends, they can get messy. Is there a friend going who drinks less? Maybe you could match their speed or something? I wouldn't hide it, but say you have cut back a lot lately and say you're not able to keep up now?

Also, whilst the kids are distracted by the TV, what can people tell me about crochet or embroidery as a hobby to take up? Sounds like there is some expertise here and I would like to start something. Maybe cross stitch? Something simple as I'm not the best and want to be able to do something whilst I'm watching TV.
Thanks

It's probably me who drives the pace to be honest, so it could be quite simple to manage. It's just 3 of us going and I have the hardest head, so if I back off they might be happy!

I think you're right, just say I'm cutting back and see what happens.

Previous messy night include a whole bottle of wine between 3 people in an interval as well as one before and one after. Plus wine with the meal and some more drinks back at the hotel...

I don't cross stitch but I crochet. Took it up when pregnant to avoid smoking. I just watched youtube videos on granny squares, bought a cheap ball of wool and a hook and away I went! Look it up and see if it'd for you

I find it very hard to slow down so I don't know if I could do that. Fair play to you if u can. It's so easy to let go with good friends, but you might surprise yourself
Sorry so long yapping, I'm currently marching around the garden with an inquisitive toddler!

So long typing

I'm fighting off the kids as they want the iPad, roll on bedtime!

I'm just thinking that if I don't suggest ordering interval drinks then no one else will. And if I make sure there is water as well as wine I can drink that when I'm thirsty rather thang lugging back the wine...

May be optimistic

Glugging that is

I have a shawl that needs finishing . Will dig that out to try and keep me occupied. Also might try and get back into the family tree thing. Feeling like a glass of something though. It's a long way to Friday.

Going out is such a hard one, isn't it? On one had you think "why the hell shouldn't I have a bit of fun?" But then you wake up feeling shit AND guilty. My best mate comes round most Saturday nights and we polish off a bottle of wine each plus a bottle of cheapo cava between us. I love those evenings and don't want to give them up.

That all sounds so reasonable elvish, why can't I do that? Sounds lovely. Catkisser I do every second sat with my friend, I always take a bottle for me and one for her. We know rightly the second is really for me!
I'm gonna finish a sweater I've been working on, hopefully this wk. Don't think about Friday always, focus on tonight

Keep at it ladies.
Chores done, dinner on, Im in pyjamas as didnt make gym tonight. There is half a bottle of wine in the kitchen I shant touch.
Its not that I dont fancy it, I would happily drink it but I would want another one to follow.
But like I said Mondays are easy. Lets see what happens Wednesday.

I have a new friend who clearly enjoys her wine. She was coming over for "a glass" and my mind is so skewed now, I bought 3 bottles. This was my thinking. Bound to get through a bottle with her. Dp was gonna be coming in after an hour or so and he would def have a glass. And then there would only be 2/3 of a bottle left for me and him with dinner so Id better get a third?

Hmmmm the justifications etc that I have made in the past, cringe. I can find any excuse to drink. Doesnt help that my family are huge drinkers so my drinking habits look "normal". My social circle are all drinkers, its just part of what we do.
We do all go to the pub and have soft drinks too ( if its early or sunday etc) but generally ends in a piss up.
I will sometimes happily drive because I dont want to have "one" but I generally dont.

Right - hope all ok - Friday IS a long way away but for the first time in months I'm feeling inspired. I wake up every week with the same feelings about drinking, I dont want it to take me being hospitalised to change things.

Right, been to exercise class, had a bath and dinner and am now settled on the sofa with a cup of decaf tea - bought decaf teabags yesterday in the hope of it becoming a new evening tipple (not that it worked yesterday, when I downed glass after glass after glass of wine instead).

feckin I haven't always been able to regulate my consumption when out with friends; in fact I've ended up distancing myself from an entire group of friends because I was getting depressed at always feeling like the drunkest one there whenever we met up (not sure that was even the case, but it felt bad enough to me). I've since moved more than 200 miles to a new town from my hometown, so am hoping to 'reinvent' myself as temperate!

elvish re: hobbies - I found it easier learning cross stitch from scratch by myself, whereas I needed a class with a teacher to get the hang of crochet. Maybe start with a small kit, even a children's one! Something fairly basic, but shouldn't take too long (I find cross stitch quite slow going, so a less ambitious pattern is a nice way to get gratification without months of work!)

I hope I've replied with the right things to the right people! Am a noob posting on these boards, after about a year of lurking...

I am watching a YouTube clip on learning to crochet. My hands are aching!! It's harder than knitting!

Lol amsingle it does feel like that to start with! It does get easier!

Alternatively, we could start another support thread for those with crochet-related injuries

Great post choochoo, I could have written it myself it's so true. My family are all drinkers too, some more so than others, but drink is involved on every occasion. My friends all have the attitude of going out to get pissed , but they can stop when they get to that merry stage. I don't know how to do that.
Good idea re the decaff tea corky, might try that myself, or flavoured tea. I always seem to be the drunk one too, might be my paranoia om not sure.
Amsingle if u can knit crochet will come easy to you. It took me a few days off getting it wrong before it clicked. Keep at it, or try the cross stitch.

Corky

Thanks all, I think I will look for some cross stitch stuff as I have tried and failed to learn to knit in the past.

Drinking Vimeo and ignoring the 3 bottles of wine in the kitchen.

Actually, DH asked me what I wanted to drink and when I said cordial as I wanted to stop drinking in the week he made us both the same, so probably a good idea to let him know as he is supportive rather than watch him open wine and be tempted.

Choochoo ignoring an already open bottle is much harder, well done you.

Yes I understand about the justifications too, unfortunately all too familiar. A I'm another one from a family and social circle of drinkers. My mum is coming over for our regular DVD night tomorrow, and she'll no doubt be expecting a glass of wine or two. She might even get a bit narky if I make a 'thing' out of abstaining. She often did about my dad, when he made attempts to go on the wagon. Difficult to describe, but she gets a bit sniffy about people turning down a drink.

Can I join? Drinking has been creeping up over the last year, mainly to relax after a day at work them battling with the kids. I know I cope better the next day without drinking but its become a habit I need to break. I'm going to aim for no drinking on school/work nights but allow it for now at a weekend. I also need to lose half a stone or so. This thread will hopefully motivate me

Welcome Neverenough

Agree with so much on here. Also come from family of drinkers. Not piss heads, just most occasions involve drink so it feels normal. I hate the feeling of waking up in the morning beating myself up for caving in again the night before.

Mondays are easy, not even on my radar, so how come on other nights it's so hard to resist? Surely habit more than addiction?

I just long to be someone who can have one glass and that's it. Can't honestly see it, though.

Welcome never enough, we're all in the same boat here. Well the witching hour is here, it's usually when I reward myself after work. I'm lost. There's not a drop in the house, otherwise I'd be tempted. Dh away to work. Don't know what to do, I might do the ironing.
Will u try abstain tomorrow with your mum corky?

I'm the same matilda , I don't think I'll ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol