Husband says no more children

[jenfromtheblock11]

Before my husband and I got married we always said we were going to have 2-4 children. When my now 2 year old was born things weren't very easy. The baby was born prematurely and had health issues including awful colic that kept him awake all night. He was lip tie and that meant we struggled breastfeeding. My husband worked away Mon-Fri and by the time he got home at the weekend I was grouchy and snappy. The baby did know him and refused to go to him si 100% of everything fell on me. Needless to say the first 6mths of parenthood wasn't the happy time it should of been and our relationship suffered.

Once things got easier with baby things got back to normal. My husband changed his job so he no longer works away and we are very happy. That is until he dropped a bombshell and said my plans for another baby next year will not be happening - ever. He said 100% we will not be having more children. He said it was too hard on our relationship the first time and he doesn't want to go through it again.

I've gone over and over this in my head and don't know what to do. I love my husband but being a Mum is what I've dreamed of all my life. I'm a good Mum and I really enjoy it and I'm desperate to have more children. I know my little boy will love having siblings. The thought of not having another baby is making me hate my husband to the point I'm considering leaving him. I don't want to spilt out family up and I don't want to leave my husband BUT the urge to have another baby is too much. Il

I really don't know what to do. I've talked it over with my husband so many times over the past few months, and while he listens to my views, he still says it's non negotiable - we are not having another child.

Anyone got any advice please?

So in fact the home school thing is very relevant. Your husband sounds like a psycho (no money - seriously?!) and if you think adding a child he doesn't want to the mix is a good idea you must be out of your mind.

OP I think you should definitely start looking into going back to work. If you do end up splitting from your DH (about the second child or for any other reason) it will be easier if you have some financial independence.

I can't see any reason why you would stay tbh.
He controls the money. He did nothing to help you when your DS was a baby. He refuses to have another child. He does nothing to help with the child you have. He has decided you will homeschool your son.
All of these decisions about your life have been made for you, seemingly with little discussion or input from you.
What are you getting out of this marriage, besides instruction and commands?

OP

I am sure reading this is hard to digest, but I do think the 2nd child is a red herring here

you were born as YOU, and grew up as YOU and yet now as an adult you find yourself with another human being who has cowed you into thinking that its completely OK for him to make every single decision. where is YOU? he made you give up your job, cows you as as a homemaker then denies you of the main perk of being a SAHM- lots of lovely children!!!

Its not right, and its not fair. and in time you will realise this OP

You are a baby, and having a 2nd child is a bad idea

I think you need to thiunk about would you, could you leave him?

OP you need to go back to work.

Why on earth does he get to dictate the family finances/children/schooling?

Are you members of some "church" which teaches all this nonsense about men being in charge and children being better off not going to school?

I am really worried about you. I think you need to get away from this horrid man.

This is off-topic OP but I'm genuinely curious as to your decision to home-school. Is it difficult to get permission to do this? I have a friend who started secondary school with me but her parents withdrew her to homeschool her after a year and I remember it being very difficult for them to prove that they were able to provide a suitable educational experience for her. Just wondering if things have changed about that.

Er, he's the one who changed the goalposts Simon - there is nothing bratish about pp's reaction

I find your post extremely offensive.

My advice would be to go back to work ASAP and call it a day on this unequal marriage. You said you had a successful career, and presumably you've only been out of the workforce for a couple of years if your child is only 2. So you have recent work experience and it shouldn't be too difficult to return to work (I'm assuming, of course it would depend on the nature of your career). The day my husband tried to dictate whether I could work and how much money I had access to would be the day I ended the marriage.