My friend's new DP wants her to sign away any future claim on their flat

[Flingmoo]

My friend has been with her new partner (first real partner actually) for about 6 months and they are going to move in together. They're currently both renting and he wants to buy a flat in only his name but have her paying 50/50 towards bills/mortgage payments. He's owned a house before but rents now.

Because he's been stung before by a girlfriend taking half the property when they split up, he wants her to sign some kind of "pre nup" style agreement that she will not be entitled to any share of the flat if they split. She was 100% happy to do this until her parents criticised that plan and has now asked me for advice on it (me being married with mortgage and a baby, she assumes I'm some sort of wise sage on relationship issues...!)

In her view, she's always rented anyway, so she doesn't feel she's any worse off by entering into this sort of agreement, to her its no different from renting, where you obviously don't have any property at the end of it.

People of mumsnet, what are your views on this...? Personally I think she should at least be entitled to whatever amount she'll have paid into the property in the event that they split up. Otherwise, if they did ever split up, it'd seem as if he's used her as a lodger to help pay his mortgage!

Wow

I wouldnt be rushing to buy a house with him anytime soon

I'd tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck!!!!

She should not move in with him.
He is already thinking about what he wants/will do when they break up.
He wants her to pay part of his mortgage, then walk away with nothing, leaving him with a property in his name, that she has partially funded.

He has got a nerve. He is a user.

She needs to raise her standards and not accept being thought of this way.

The alternative though is that she gets a place for free which isn't fair either

No, she shouldn't get her money back if she moves out

She should rent a room at fair market rate in the flat or keep her own place, or buy it with him - there's no reason they can't buy together. And when they split up they split the money.

She should not move in with him.

" there's no reason they can't buy together."

well there is - he doesn't want to do that.

This is exactly why when my eighteen year relationship ended I had nothing.

In my case he already owned the property when we met but never again would I put myself in such a position.

Who will provide the deposit?

He wants her to pay 50% of bills and mortgage and walk away with nothing when he gets sick of her? Fuck that.

(Although I think it would be fair enough for him (or her) to take the deposits out and then split the rest when it's sold)

Is she to be his lodger or his equal partner?

6 months is lightening fast to be moving in together anyway, if they're not ready for the commitment of buying a place together why not rent together for 12 months first, they're both renting separately now anyway, they'd probably save more for a deposit in that time.

If I was in this situation, I'd offer to split bills equally, but would not contribute to the mortgage. If he wants to buy a property for himself, he can buy one for himself, I'm not going to fund it for him if it's nothing to do with me.

Because he's been stung before by a girlfriend taking half the property when they split up

Could your friend ascertain exactly how he was stung by a girlfriend taking half when they split? The term stung implies she wasn't entitled to what she ended up with and that's why he's now wary.

I'm not at all clear on how someone who was unmarried partner and without children could have done that if she hadn't put half in?

Equally he now wants a partner to pay half but sign away any rights to what she's funded?

Spelling things out fairly is admirable. Just make sure your friend only agrees to what is indeed fair for both parties.

By the way he sounds a real treat

why is she getting a place for free if she is paying 50% of bills. Totally unfair imo.

I think if your paying half the mortgage you should be entitled to half ...that's fair.

If what your paying towards just pays half bill bar mortgage then fair enough you shouldn't get half of someone's home...

Though it's a Tricky one, I'm the other side if the fence as I own (mortgage) my own house and partner who only stays few nights a week pays towards the food they eat, gas elec and sky tv as they want it when they are at mine... So not the mortgage... (Don't know legal stance on this arrangement) but he does think he has any claim on the house... just think its fair.

I believe he's paying the deposit. I can sort of see why she feels that it's no different from her current situation of renting, she's only 24 and has only ever rented.

But in my view, in theory they could be together for 5, 10, 18 years even and during that time if she wasn't with him she would theoretically have been able to able to pay into her own mortgage and have some property of her own rather than being left with nothing like Hemlock's example...

*doesnt think x

Who is putting down the deposit?

I made DH sign one of these when he first moved in with me. We hadn't been together all that long, and I had no intention of seeing my hard-earned deposit going up in smoke if the relationship went wrong in the early stages.

2 years later we were about to get married and bought our next house as joint owners.

Guess it all depends on the split of the bills... X

It is not like she is getting a place for free, she is still paying half of the bills, and I assume will muck in with housework, so he will be better of with her there, than without her there. If he cant afford his mortgage repayments without her, he should perhaps consider buying a more modest property so he is not "stuck" with her and relying on her financially to afford his mortgage....

Deed of trust seems to be for joint ownership. From what I'm reading that isn't an option?

The question isn't why should she get a place to free (and the answer would be, because he wants them to live together in a property that he is buying for himselft) rather why should she pay for a property that she then has no financial interest in - lodger with benefits as somebody else said.

If they're not ready to jointly own property together, then don't do it.

Legally she has no claim on it anyway so I don't understand why he wants the additional paperwork.

She should be getting a tenancy agreement though and ensuring what she is paying is fair and at market rates (or below).