The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

marfisa that's whats holding me back, because I don't usually drink that much it feels like it's not worth quitting. I won't even save that much money.

But it takes up so much space in my head, I need to STOP. It feels like even when I'm doing other things, there is a little voice in my head going "Are you drinking today? No, it's only Tuesday, although if you did drink tonight that would be okay because tomorrow DH can take the kids to school so you can have a lie in. But there's no wine in the house, you'd have to go to Sainsburys. And you haven't got time - the dog needs a walk. On the other hand, we need bread and milk so you've got to go to the shop anyway. Might as well pick up some wine while you're there. No, wait, you promised yourself you wouldn't have anything til Friday. You could buy it and leave it in the car? Should we go to Sainsburys and get the mini 18.5cl bottles? or get the 25cl ones from Waitrose? Two of those makes 50cl which is 2/3 a normal bottle of wine, so thats okay. Or go over to M&S - they also have the 25cl ones and we could pick up some flowers for mum at the same time. Buy a nice pudding as a treat for myself if I DON'T buy any wine? Or, get the wine but leave it in the car?" etc and on. and on. and on.

Until I end up drinking the wine just to stop the damned voices in my head.

its ok venus you didn't. The song was just bloody spot on though!
I'm going to stop going on about it now until the next time it overwhelms me

it will get easier.

It's exhausting Joey isn't it. And such a needless waste of time and energy. Maybe ma's predicament has led some of us to think of our own lost opportunities, in all parts of life. It's not too late to change. It's never too late to try.

Can I throw in another

That break for 'freedom' could apply to so many of us in so many different ways. Freedom from the alcohol, sure but also all the other things dragging us down.

The endless cycle, the negative thoughts, the wankbadgers, the job stresses, the sleepless nights, the pain, the sweats, the extra pounds of weight, the money worries, the demanding bosses/children/parents/partners, the wine witch, the weed witch, the health worries, it goes on and on and on...

We can't change all of it but we can change some of it. What is it that venus told me; accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and learn to recognise the difference. We are in control of our own choices and that is it. We cannot control anyone else, what they say, what they do or how they react.

But we can take the bull by the horns and tackle that alcohol/drug problem head on. No messing about, we can do that and it will help in so many other ways. One day at a time.

Yay, go Joey !!

faire you are so right about lost opportunities and making changes! Thank you, wise woman. I'm looking forward to taking control. Aiming to get to Christmas (and after that, who knows)

okay, a sudden panic at the thought of how long that would be... ummm reel it back in, just think about today, ODAAT

but anyhoo. yes it IS exhausting - I was worn out just typing that (above) but it's what my brain is doing all the time, at the back of my mind. Even while I'm at work, cooking tea, driving etc.

Sorry for all the me post!

PS. I like your ra-ra skirt - where did you find it?!

Underneath my lost youth Joey

Nah, really it was in that there dusty chest at the back of the bus (and no, I'm not referring to ma's norks). Leg warmers anyone?

PS keep your eyes out for HorridBabyDoll, it's coming up to that time of year again.

Eek! horridbabydoll
Peers nervously over shoulder.
Speaking of scary things, where is indie

You lot are lovely nutters!!!

faire loved your post, your a very wise lady, your posts always make so much sense and are so caring, your a good un xxx

Hugs for ma and joey, my auld gran would say "whits ment fur ye ll no go by ye" xxx

Day 9 - found last night hard but still here :)
Love that saying Baby

Well it's windy here - so looks like the walk is of - could go swimming if I can drag myself there - think I will try -
Good morning all - hope everyone is ok :)

Day 10 here. DS1 off school ill so DH and I managed to negotiate a half day of work each without WW3 breaking out between the two of us. Very impressive. DS was sick at half-hour intervals from 3.30am onwards though so all of us are knackered.

Eyes towering mountain of vomity washing unenthusiastically.

joey, I know what you are saying about drink taking up too much space in your head, even though you're drinking well within the recommended limits. I too am intricately familiar with all the different sizes of mini-bottle at the different supermarkets! My AA sponsor has said to me that even if I have one drink a month (assuming that were possible), I still wouldn't be enjoying the 'full benefits of sobriety'. This is AA's take, of course, and it makes me roll my eyes a little, because everyone is different and going AF isn't for us all. But I do understand what she means in a sense, because as long as the possibility of drinking is open, even drinking a little, it keeps the whole saga of 'should I or shouldn't I?' going in my mind and it's very mentally exhausting. I'm hoping to arrive at a day when I don't drink and don't think about not drinking, like when I was vegetarian for many years and it never crossed my mind to eat meat. I'm a long way off that point though.

Thanks from me too faire for your very empowering post!

How is the wind in everyone's area

I see on the news that Blackpool is taking a battering.

It's fairly gusty down south too.

Hope all babes are safe and well x

beautiful and breezy in sunny stirling today.

Hi babes, yes faire it sure is windy in Bonny Scotland...

I'm continuing to remain sober but I'm finding my evenings a bit "colourless". Every night is much the same including the weekends and although there are no great lows there are no great highs either.

venus once said "there is no such thing as a boring life, just boring people". I'm going to have to fill up a few evenings getting out more, life just seems to trundle by, punctuated by moments of joy and relief at being sober and more stable and looking at my dd's always makes my heart sore!!! BUT I'm a little in a "is this it?" zone but don't get me wrong I'm still grateful but having worked so hard to get to this point it's all a bit, well flat I guess.

Anyway I'm taking my diet very seriously as I know dropping this extra weight (2 stone) will help me feel and look better so onwards and downwards!!

Hugs for my lovely babes in arms xx

Fecking mobile site! How do I get back onto the proper one!

ma I think if you scroll down to the very bottom of the page, there's a link to desktop/mobile

Wish I could take my diet seriously baby. I'm ok on it but when I stop the weight leaps back on me. Ah well, keep trying.

blue you ok? I didn't see what you posted.

Day 10 - hoping my liver is thanking me for it - Still waiting to go for blood tests - anytime soon - here's hoping my LFT will come back OK now :)

marfisa that's a great point about even drinking once a month and obsessing about it for the rest of the month means you're 'not enjoying the full benefits of sobriety'

babyj it is hard when not drinking seems so boring. But actually sometimes life IS boring - alcohol just hides that. Or prevents us from going and changing it. Are you still horse-riding?

I've started spending money on make-up - I never used to wear make-up, but lately I'm getting into it. Today I just bought some more eyeshadow which is the same price as my weekly wine - so that means no alcohol this week. It's hard because I don't know if the eyeshadow will look good or not, or if I've wasted my money - whereas I know that wine makes me feel nice (temporarily) but I just have to keep trying.

Do you have anything else you can 'treat' yourself with and look forward to? A book, massage, bubble-bath, new film to watch... I know a bubble-bath despite what the ads tell us, is NOT the life-enhancing experience its claimed to be! But neither is alcohol.

faire I think you are spot on with the bit about 'lost opportunities'.

Something weird happened last week, a friend of mine said she was getting married - to a guy she's known FOR SIX WEEKS Part of me was a bit concerned that she is vulnerable and being taken advantage of. I'm not sure she knows what she's getting into, it isn't all hearts and flowers - and surely nobody believes in the fairytale of a whirlwind romance?

On the other, imagine if it works out, how wonderful and truly, madly exciting! Maybe we all need to grasp the bull by the horns, do something crazy and just... live the dream!

Hello...? Anyone?

baby you said: "venus once said "there is no such thing as a boring life, just boring people" " hmmm, I wonder what I was thinking???..... I can only imagine that it was in relation to other people being boring.... so you go to an event and it IS boring because the people you meet there are crashingly dull and boring - panting on about their mortgages, or their second home, or their kids' excellent school results... or you go to something seemingly non-descript and you come away enthused and motivated because the people there were honest and real and spoke from their hearts.

I guess it's only to be expected that we sometimes find our own company boring, after all we've spent a long time with ourselves, but even so, sometimes there's something new and motivating inside - something we hadn't even realised about ourselves - maybe the way we love to feel the rain on our face, maybe the very special way we make a peanut-butter sandwich, maybe an opinion we hold that we hadn't even shared with our self.... maybe part of the dream is there all along.

Ooh,alias you saved my life. Back on normal site again.
Love the 6 week whirlwind romance. Best of bloody luck to them I say.

Thanks venus and joey your ever wise advice. Ive been reading lots of recovery books and they all ramble on about the amazing positive changes in their life, dramatic newfound feelings and joy. I am relieved every single day that my family trust me and have faith in me but because they don't have my problem with alcohol they don't get how tough it is or how mundane being a SAHM really is. The kids are my world but everything I do on a daily basis is basically repeated day after day and don't require much brain power or passion so I spend too much time thinking, analysing every mundane details of my relationships and my thoughts.

I hope that the fact I'm looking at my life more objectively and am looking for new challenges must mean I AM recovering and I'm not obsessing over booze but obsessing over life.

I don't want to change my life that much but feel strong enough to "shake it up" a bit and want to feel exhilarated without a bottle of wine.

I guess it's all good, just nee to find my place in this new sober world.

Hugs and strength to all you lovely babes xxx

Yes it is frustrating to read recovered addicts who claim that life is just so wonderful now, and they enjoy perfect family life, enhanced quality of health, work, clear skin, swishy hair... Yeah right. For most of us, life in sobriety is exactly like it used to be, just without the alcohol.

Still boring. No magic fix for dull marriage, annoying kids, irritating boss or money problems. Definitely no swishy hair

But maybe there is maybe a clearer view of how to tackle the problems, instead of hiding from them?