Would you date someone with a criminal history

[louby44]

If you met someone and found out they had been in prison for quite some time but had paid their dues, were totally remorseful and had done their time and wanted to move on desperately- would you date them?

Or would it depend on the crime?

why do you ask ?

Have done. In my previous town it was nigh on impossible to meet a man who hadn't been in prison!
Wouldn't again though, under any circumstances. I think if you were being more tolerant than me though, it might depend on the crime.

I'm just curious. A friend of mine has met someone and it turns out he has been in prison. She's ended it but it's really confused her. She can't believe the man that she knows with what he did - drugs!

Are you considering dating someone who has been in prison?

I suppose it depends on the crime.

So, rape/murder/child abuse: absolutely no way.

Car theft when he was 15 but he's straightened out now? As long as nobody was hurt: possibly.

I doubt I would though.

Would depend on the crime. With drugs if he went away for a long time I would be worried it's mot like it's just a bit of weed in his pocket it must have been quite big

It would depend on how long ago it was and whether he still took drugs. I hate the things, and would have no interest in dating anyone who took them (plus DH might have something to say about it). If it was a major crime like rape or DV or murder - no way. I'd run for the hills and I wouldn't look back.

If he was a dealer then no way.

I would just be thinking of the lives he'd ruined, the things he would have done etc.

Totally depends on the crime, small theft, or small time possession when younger....maybe.
Gbh or anything more nope.

Nope, not at all.

No its drugs and he was a major player! We've read the newspaper coverage and it's not good. It doesn't read well at all!

She is gutted! He's served half of a big sentence and is trying to turn his life around. She knows it's a no go but its opened up a big discussion between the two of us. She's my oldest school friend and neither of us were brought up in that sort of world!

The question is does someone deserve a second chance or do leopards ever change their spots??

Yes, under many circumstances, but, no, under some.

if he was genuinely remorseful ?

Yes.

If it was genuine. Genuine remorse is something you are never free of for the rest of your life.

Depending a bit on what it was, I have to admit. This would be my problem but it'd be extremely hard to be close to someone who had raped someone.

If he was a major player, and not very long ago, I think a total geographical relocation would have to figure before I even considered the possibility.

And yes, leopards do very occasionally change their spots.

Perhaps, but like rape and murder drugs is one of the crimes on my "absolutely not" list.

I know people who have been in prison, but you'd never know it from how their lives have turned round.

No. Never.

It depends on the crime, but in theory yes, I believe in rehabilitation and redemption.

Nope. It's not for me. I think some people like the drama or the opportunity to 'rescue' someone. I find I get enough drama in everyday life!

Not a chance

It would depend on the crime, eg rape murder child/elder/animal abuse. No chance

How would you actually know, unless a mutual acquaintance told you, or they tell you themselves.
I would suspect a proportion of the more 'dangerous' ones, likely to re-offend, wouldn't be too up front about their history.

I think the manner of finding out would also colour my thinking.
If they sat down, right at the beginning, and were open, honest and told me what happened in order to let me know what I was getting into I would be far more favourable than finding out six months down the line, from other people.

Some crimes though, I could not countenance, under any circumstances.

I agree Nerf.
Drugs I could do (so to speak), but no sexual crime or dv.

How did she find out? How far into the relationship?