'D'H having affair

[Someonestolemyname]

Hi. Long time lurker but occasional poster. Have created new account for this because worried name change might go wrong :(

I feel sick. Sicker than I ever have before.
H (I cannot call him DH because I want to kill him) has bought himself a new iPad. Left his old one here switched off and is away with work until Tuesday.
Ds asked to play FIFA on my iPad but I was using it so told him to grab his dad's old one. He handed it back after his few games and I decided to have a flick through photos to see what pics he'd got of the kids.

I found he had screen shotted dozens and dozens of messages from an email conversation with another woman. I immediately wanted to throw up. From what I could gather he's been seeing someone her since February. Maybe before. Disgusting messages between them discussing what they wanted to do to each other. And pictures. Fucking disgusting pictures.
Of his dick that he'd sent her and her boobs she'd sent him.
The next part truly sickens me. There were screen shots of a swinging website where they seem to have an account together. They are 'verifying' him for being a good guy and saying how much they enjoyed the meet with him and her.
I want to curl up and die.
Thought we were happy. We are financially comfortable, enjoy our jobs, spend time with each other, gave a lovely house. I could go on. I thought we were so lucky to have such a nice life together.
My poor beautiful dc's. How could he do this to us.

I'm so sorry, OP. What an absolute shit. Make sure you have copies of everything financial. Even the fairest of blokes can turn into scheming financial gits when the shit hits the fan. You can have a free consultation with most solicitors before starting any proceedings.

Whatever comes next, please remember, you and your children have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of. He is the one who has destroyed the marriage and anything you do is in response to his terrible behaviour. Hold your head high and don't be afraid to tell people why you have thrown him out.

Make sure you get a solicitor who also knows their company law as well as family law - being shareholders in your own business makes it more complicated.

Just wanted to say sorry this has happened to you

What a shock. Agree that you need to use tomorrow very wisely to collect paperwork and also print the evidence.

What pricks some men are.

Also, you may be joint shareholders but it would not stop him slipping stuff past you unless you check business dealings regularly. It depends who does the books.

Also, I take it you don't need both signatures to withdraw? So do be careful and maybe consider freezing accounts.

Your H is clearly dishonest with you, so take no chances.

Poor you.

So sorry lovely lady. No one deserves this. I have read so many similar situations like this on mn. You will come through this. Lots of love xxx

Thank you all my head is a mess
I opened a bottle of wine earlier and nearly drank the whole lot before my friend arrived. I should have been stronger for my DC, I feel so ashamed
I just wanted to block it all out.
Friend is here now. He just rang to speak to dc. How I held it together I don't know.
How could he risk their happiness?

Glad your friend with you Op.

I know it's going to be hard to think on your feet but telling your Rl friend will help. Take care

Glad your friend has arrived op, it's better to have some company during a shitty time like this.
I hope you can get some good advice about what to do next from a solicitor, best of luck to you I really hope things go as well as possible

He either didn't know he was risking their happiness, or just didn't care. Some men find it very easy to compartmentalise, so think what they do doesn't affect their marriages. Unfortunately for them, a lot of women can't get past that at all.

Don't do anything in haste, like revealing what you know until you have all the practicalities sorted.

What a bastard.So sorry love.You and your kid's deserve better. Mx.

So sorry OP, what a terrible shock xxx

So sorry OP. Hope having your friend over has helped give you some support. Look after yourself during all this.

Oh op that's just horrible. You poor love.

You can do this. You can get through it.

What a wanker
Hope you're ok
Don't let him talk his way out of it

Oh god you poor thing.

I am glad your friend is with you now.

I know its utterly awful right now but you will get through this.

Glad your friend is with you.

What an utter shit.

I can't understand people who throw away their lovely lives for sex. Eurghhh.

Best of luck and don't make it easy on him.

OP you have my deepest sympathy - I remember the feeling well. It sounds like your H either grew careless or may have, in a twisted way, wanted you to find out - it doesn't make sense to have all those screen shots otherwise.
I wouldn't start ferreting money away as some have suggested - it can be traced during the financials aspect of a divorce, if it comes to that. Besides, no matter how much you hate him now (and you have every right to), try and keep everything as calm as possible. If he wanted you to find it then he may well also want you to behave like a psychopath - it makes them feel a twisted sort of justification for their actions, which you don't want! You don't want him to have to opportunity to turn to people in the future and say "look how much of a psycho she is - do you blame me for having an affair?".
Try and focus on keeping the children out of this as much as possible - it is the toughest thing in the world of parenting not to project your own feelings onto your children, but really keep an eye out for that. This will effect them well into their adult life so resist the urge to rip his head off and punish him for being such an awful father (and putting you in the position of having to clear up his mess). Not seeing his children or wife on a daily basis will be punishment enough.
Keep strong and keep your powder dry!

i'm so sorry, this is terrible. how are you feeling this morning? is your friend still there?

thinking of you.

What an utter dickhead. I'm so sorry OP. Are you due in work today? Take some time if you can to gather your thoughts and paperwork

He made the screen shots so he could go back and read them again whenever he wanted.

I'm horrified for you. You mentioned STI tests, get one ASAP. It's possible it's not just you and this dirty bitch he was shagging, especially if he's swinging. Dirty fucking bastard.

Hi op,
I'm so sorry, is your friend still with you? How are you doing today?

What an awful shock for you. I hope you still have some support this morning.

He's an absolute bastard.