Had suspicions for a while, is this Voyeurism?

[Herewegoagain2014]

Bit of background me and my hd have been together 11years married for 9. We have a DS together.
My DH has never been I to porn as such but sometimes looks at strange pics but not porn.
For years now I've occasionally come across very odd google searches but never really understood what it was about.

We have just come back from a 2week holiday and really reconnected after a few rocky years.

We recently bought a MacBook and my DS and DH share the Apple ID.
My DS called me in to change his screen saver and the PC just went into photosteam and I'm sickened.
I sent DS away so I could see what these pics were and on our holidays when we was so say reading on his ipad there are tonnes of pics of women bending over, them lying down on sun loungers with pics up there skirts. There is about 50odd pics of all diff women.

What the hell do I do? This is not a isolated incident as last year I found loads of downloaded pics and videos on our shared PC and after doing some digging he was getting round the Internet filter by using searches of "ups" clearly "up skirt" pics. After confronting last year I made it clear if this ever happened again he was out!

What the hell do I do? Is it me am I a prude or is this behavior or him not at all on?

I could do with advise if I should confront him or not?

Thanks in advance

Some of those 'women' on holiday might have been under 16. He makes me sick.

Horrendous, he is a dangerous man, I am livid on the part of those poor women, what man, at any age in fact, gets off on this, what would worry me even more is that is probably just a very small part of his perverted and sick antics, so glad you are getting out of it OP - you've probably gave him more chances than he ever deserved, don't go snooping anymore, spend your energies on getting your ducks in order and getting away from the sad pervert asap. Cant see how anybody would even consider coming back from this.

Sorry Twink get you now!
My gut feeling is to report him and let the wheels within wheels work from there. He would be asking for his share of the goods and chattles from the marriage from a much reduced position then. Whether in reality it makes any difference is for a good solicitor to advise. I think I would get the cops to look into the computer though and you could just put your feet up and have a brew. What a turd he is for doing this to you Here

You poor thing OP! I can't stand men who take upskirt photos or secretly zoom in on women and girls body parts to take pictures. There is something worryingly creepy about it, I'd be far more distressed to find that my DH had been doing that over viewing porn. It is classic voyeurism IMO, the women aren't aware and cannot consent. I think that's part of the thrill for these men, I mean they can get any image they want online so why bother taking secret photos if that isn't the reason. Reducing random women to body parts for sexual gratification in secret is not normal.

What's really scary is that he couldn't control himself at work from viewing this stuff and then what about your son? What does he make of his father downloading this stuff? I feel for you, this is an awful situation for you.

This behaviour escalates like any other addiction . It would be best not to even speak to him as he will tie you in knots verbally and you will be outraged. His addiction is more important than anything . Disgusting

He is a weak willed fool

I have got a solisitors appointment Monday! Still plan to go ahead with booting him out Sunday as planned.
If I ask him to go I'm certain he will!
Found more evidence on the PC. He has a different browser installed I've taken screen shots as evidence!
I intend to get him out then report him after going to the solisitor!

Good for you !

How are you doing? Is it today he comes back?

He's back Sunday.

I think it would be a good idea to take the computer and any other devices you can get hold of out of the house. Put them in secure storage for future reference, just to be on the safe side.

You may need to find further evidence at a later date. If it is a shared computer he could say it was you, if it goes to court, for example.

Good point nuff - I think the shared PC will be at the shop that day. It has been running rather slow. I think I will give it to a friend to look after.
It's all on his profile of the PC. So hope that's enough evidence!

The word that shouted out to me was

Cunning!

That says it all love. Another posted said 'tip of the iceberg'.

I agree.

What he's doing may satisfy him for now but I truly believe this behaviour will escalate.

He's actually putting women in a very powerless Position by covertly filming them. It's a very cowardly thing to do. Imagine if he went up to a woman and said

' scuse me can I just take a photo up your skirt?'

Yeah right!

When I was first married in the 70s my ex used to love to love to go for a walk along the beach on his own so he could ogle the near naked women. He later went on to cheat on me many times and use prostitutes. This was found out after he'd left. There wasn't the technology to record then so who knows what sort of a stash he could have kept if it had been today.

My husband was also cunning.

You've already been burned by him sweetheart. I think you are spot on. Get your ducks in a row and show him the door.

He's not a good man! He is showing no respect for women. He's showing no respect for you. His attitude may rub off on his son.

There is a good man out there for you. You just need the courage to get rid of this sicko

And you can.

Just need to add that his prowling and ogling was done when we were abroad . Don't think there were that many beaches in the uk in the 70s that allowed topless sunbathing!

In a relationship you want your husband to be getting his sexual thrills from you, not anonymous passers-by.

It may be just a fetish, but it is dangerous and narcissistic. I would be mortified to think that what I had thought was a holiday with my husband was in reality an "up-skirt photo opportunity".

This is sinister sick stuff. Like others I would be concerned this is the tip of the iceberg. If he takes perverted pictures of women he does not know , I would be very worried he has taken similar images of you.

That's the saf part. Some of you might find this comment strange but I'm actually a bit hurt that none of the pics take. Were of me. Maybe its a stranger thrill thing. But I just don't think he's that intrested in me in that way.
I had a good cry today.

I wouldn't take it personally, to a voyeur the point of these women is that they are a stranger or someone they are not intimate with.

They're a stranger and they're unaware of him - so he controls the encounter.

You don't fill the stranger criteria, it has no bearing on your attractiveness.

You probably have already read up on paraphilias - ie psychosexual disorders in general and voyeurism in particular, you might revisit that to reassure yourself.

I'm really sorry OP. I had the joy of finding out my ex was a sex offender and the feelings of shame are horrifying. What he's done is most definitely illegal but I'm not going to tell you to go to the police. That is your decision alone. Unfortunately, you'll be the main witness in this case, if he pleads not guilty then you'll have to testify against him in court. That is a very hard thing to do to someone you've been with a long time and really something you need to seek legal advice over. I can understand you wanting him to get help, I felt the same about my ex when I first found out but it sounds like this is something that's not going to stop easily. Not to put any pressure on you but what your husband has been doing is downright weird and creepy. How old is your DS by the way?

My ex filmed us having sex without my knowledge and even that is classed as a voyeurism offence, although not so easy to prove. I chose not to press charges for various reasons and you don't have to make a decision straight away. I'd be a bit wary of confronting him as he could go and delete those pictures. Regardless of whether you go to the police I do think you should leave and tell him exactly why (although if you want to go to the police tell him AFTER you've spoken to them). You've already given him another chance, if you do it again then what's to stop him doing it again?

I can understand your point about you being upset that your husband isn't sexually interested in you. I'd think you'd feel differently if he had done though. Knowing I was filmed without my knowledge, well I guess it's a compliment in a backhanded way but it does make me feel very creeped out. Anyway, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's horrific and I hope you find the strength to get through this, whatever your decision. Please get your DS his own computer or ID, the fact your husband doesn't care that his son or you could come across this stuff is very disturbing.

I understand that you are upset that he is not sexually interested in you. You are seeing things from a normal mind but his sexuality is twisted . You deserve to be loved for yourself and he is incapable. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Herewego

You should have KNOWN that you are NOT a prude. Has he skewed up your boundaries? If he has, how has he managed to do that? (I think when you are offered counselling/support for this event, that may be something you need to explore.)

What he has done is illegal - end of! And well done for making a positive decision to report him in safe-manner for you and your DD. I also applaud you for deciding how to safe-guard the evidence. That will assist CPS in charging him.

You may have saved so many other females from sexual abuse via voyeurism (spying on people).

Stay strong and post here if you need advice or the space to rant.

Good luck with following this through.

He has form and you threatened to put him out if he did it again. Either you follow through, or accept that this is who he is and live with it.

You're not a prude, it is a disrespectful behaviour and he obviously isn't above lying to you in order to continue his behaviour.

Christ on a bike, I never thought about giving evidence in court. In my head it never got that far.

The irony here is I shopped someone to the police very recently who has history for being a pervert. I do not know this person but I had to give evidence and he is now on the offenders register and it was my doing! So we have seen first hand what it does to families. He even gave evidence against him in form of a statement. It was horrific giving evidence in court and I can't believe this could happen again with my husband now on te other end of it in such a short space of time!

I thought that was a great post Pandora.

Your husband is breaking the law. He is committing sexual offences against women and girls.

If he is caught or reported what else did either of you expect ?